Love Aint Always Pretty

Attrazione

Translation: attraction

Origin: Italian

15

Anywhere I sit, I'll feel him.

He's everywhere.

I think that is how the human brain thinks when a person develops an attraction towards someone. Yes, I am or either I am denying the fact that I'm quite attracted to him.

Just quite.

I mean he can be kind of sweet for a second then completely cold the next hour and that makes him actually quite mysteriously intimidating. Most of the times it somewhat makes me wonder what's on his mind if he hears my name being mentioned, or when I'm around him or if I'm somewhere near him.

I can quickly tell if a guy is attracted to me and it's really easy to distinguish. But when it comes to Nick, he definitely does not belong into that category at all. Which is why I'm trying so hard to do the best that I can to find out a reason on how on earth will I be able to stop whatever this thing that I feel every single time I'm around him or he's near me cos he will never notice me.

Nick turns on the radio, and Tracy was already lying her seat back with her feet up on the dash. But my mind can't stop thinking about how awkward it's going to be if Tracy's gonna to sleep the entire drive. I think he's still mad at me.

I glance at Nick, and he's busy adjusting his rearview mirror while his eyes briefly meets mine. "You're comfortable back there?" he asks.

"Yep." I say.

He turns on the engine and looks straight ahead to the road, while I look back down at my lap where my fingers were resting.

Probably thirty or forty minutes pass, the movement of the car is making my head hurt again and Tracy was already sleeping on her seat. I wanted to ask Nick where we were going but then I remembered he doesn't like questions so I just shut it up. I also wanted to make a conversation with him so I won't at least get bored, but I just don't know if he even wants to talk after the conversation we had a while ago.

So I just slowly readjusted myself in the backseat, massaging my temples as I lean my head back while propping my feet up on the console between Nick and Tracy. He glances at me in the rearview mirror cos of my movement and he holds his stare at me for no longer than three seconds, then looks back at the road. We've both been quiet and no one has been starting to talk. Well we don't have anything to talk about anyways so it's better if we just be quiet.

I have no idea what's going through his head right now and I hate it. I hate it cos I can't read him. I don't know if he's mad at me for what I asked, though I wanna know what I did wrong that made him look at me like I did something terribly terminal. I don't even know if he still wants to talk to me too. I don't know why he always change his attitude towards me right away. I'm so curious about Catherine as well cos their past is so mysterious to me.

But the thing that I really really dislike about Nick is that he never smiles more than five times a week. I don't think that's even normal. I think Nick Wilde is abnormal.

A person who never smiles isn't normal right?

He never laughs as much too. He's so stoic and solidly hard as stone. Plus, he doesn't flirt.

God what's wrong with him? I thought.

It's like his face keeps a strong metallic armor between his impassive expression, around his cold heart and extends to the rest of us.

I really want to know so bad all the thoughts that pass through Nick's head behind that unwavering, stoic and blank expression on him.

I hate it.

really

ones but you know the intelligent, gentleman and the man of a few words kind. I find it intimidating when a man is mysterious, since most guys I know talks too much, and it's annoying sometimes. Quiet types are sexy, for

Nick.

in the rearview mirror though. I don't know why I was doing it. Maybe I was trying to figure him out. I know it's weird but I just want to read his expression even

I quickly look down at my fingers. I feel a little embarrassed when he catches me staring at him. And this is so childish. But that mirror feels like it has tons of magnets in it cos my eyes

gaze outside my window. Just one more look.

into the mirror

look back down

Shit.

he always catches my glances at him? It's hard for me not to look longer cos I still feel bad for asking about Catherine

the longest drive of my entire life. Well maybe cos Nick is here that's why I'm thinking it's long and my subconscious mind keeps on telling me that Nick and I being in a

Why dreadful?

ability on Nick is bugging me every single time he

make it four minutes before I look at him. I pulled out my phone and kept gazing at it to check if it's already

Damn it.

So does he.

window and wasn't able to hold it in. I smiled. I smiled cos this was just too cute. And I'm a little amused by whatever game this is

He smiles, too.

Oh god.

He.

Just.

Freaking.

Smiled.

seen on Nick's face since the first time I saw him. It was a smile that pushes up into his eyes cos he's trying to hide it. The way his eyes got chinky and the

at it. Oh god, I want to take a photo of it before it disappears again, before he gets all moody again, before he gets all stoic and hard to understand again. But that would

me after I mentioned Catherine a while ago

a nearby gas station? I really have to pee." I

one." He says while

stared myself at the mirror. I really didn't want to pee but I just needed a different air. Not that it was smelly inside the car, but I feel like my heart is beating fast on my chest and that the air was too small for the two

and saw Nick inside the store, looking at something inside the fridge. When he caught me, he pulled out both of his hands and showed me two different beverages. He wants me to choose between the coke and the other is juice. I shake my head. He picks another drink, it was Sprite. I shake my head again. I walked

so choosy."

the drive still long? You're buying some drinks." I said, picking up

there. I'm just thirsty and I'd be selfish enough only to buy drinks for

course, it has to be

us headed to the cashier while I grab

mother." He

any further questions cos I might say something else that'll make him even mad at me. He sounds like he's in a good mood. I don't want to ruin this good mood he's in. He paid for the drinks but I paid for the junk foods I grabbed.

on the console while chewing on

the only thing sounding again inside. It was a J.Lo song called Jenny From The Block and I was mouthing the words to it. I moved my head along while I think of myself that I was rapping good. I was killing the song, I tell you, even my hands were moving. I was carried away by the

had issues about classic

me? It's

arm for it to rest on the console, but my feet are in his way. I push myself up, "Oh. Sorry," I say, as I begin to pull my