Love Aint Always Pretty

Attrazione

Translation: attraction

Origin: Italian

15

Anywhere I sit, I'll feel him.

He's everywhere.

I think that is how the human brain thinks when a person develops an attraction towards someone. Yes, I am or either I am denying the fact that I'm quite attracted to him.

Just quite.

I mean he can be kind of sweet for a second then completely cold the next hour and that makes him actually quite mysteriously intimidating. Most of the times it somewhat makes me wonder what's on his mind if he hears my name being mentioned, or when I'm around him or if I'm somewhere near him.

I can quickly tell if a guy is attracted to me and it's really easy to distinguish. But when it comes to Nick, he definitely does not belong into that category at all. Which is why I'm trying so hard to do the best that I can to find out a reason on how on earth will I be able to stop whatever this thing that I feel every single time I'm around him or he's near me cos he will never notice me.

Nick turns on the radio, and Tracy was already lying her seat back with her feet up on the dash. But my mind can't stop thinking about how awkward it's going to be if Tracy's gonna to sleep the entire drive. I think he's still mad at me.

I glance at Nick, and he's busy adjusting his rearview mirror while his eyes briefly meets mine. "You're comfortable back there?" he asks.

"Yep." I say.

He turns on the engine and looks straight ahead to the road, while I look back down at my lap where my fingers were resting.

Probably thirty or forty minutes pass, the movement of the car is making my head hurt again and Tracy was already sleeping on her seat. I wanted to ask Nick where we were going but then I remembered he doesn't like questions so I just shut it up. I also wanted to make a conversation with him so I won't at least get bored, but I just don't know if he even wants to talk after the conversation we had a while ago.

So I just slowly readjusted myself in the backseat, massaging my temples as I lean my head back while propping my feet up on the console between Nick and Tracy. He glances at me in the rearview mirror cos of my movement and he holds his stare at me for no longer than three seconds, then looks back at the road. We've both been quiet and no one has been starting to talk. Well we don't have anything to talk about anyways so it's better if we just be quiet.

I have no idea what's going through his head right now and I hate it. I hate it cos I can't read him. I don't know if he's mad at me for what I asked, though I wanna know what I did wrong that made him look at me like I did something terribly terminal. I don't even know if he still wants to talk to me too. I don't know why he always change his attitude towards me right away. I'm so curious about Catherine as well cos their past is so mysterious to me.

But the thing that I really really dislike about Nick is that he never smiles more than five times a week. I don't think that's even normal. I think Nick Wilde is abnormal.

A person who never smiles isn't normal right?

He never laughs as much too. He's so stoic and solidly hard as stone. Plus, he doesn't flirt.

God what's wrong with him? I thought.

It's like his face keeps a strong metallic armor between his impassive expression, around his cold heart and extends to the rest of us.

I really want to know so bad all the thoughts that pass through Nick's head behind that unwavering, stoic and blank expression on him.

I hate it.

really hate

for the quiet types. Not the weirdo ones but you know the intelligent, gentleman and the man of a few words kind. I find it intimidating when a man is mysterious, since most guys I know talks too much, and

quiet person. If there's a word quieter than quiet then I think that's him. That's Nick. But no matter how I try to hate him, he's still sexy as

why I was doing it. Maybe I was trying to figure him out. I know it's weird but I just want to read his expression even though it's just the same.

fingers. I feel a little embarrassed when he catches me staring at him. And this is so childish. But that mirror feels like it has tons of magnets in it cos my eyes

look. One more look. I thought to

into the mirror again, so does

back

Shit.

glances at him? It's hard for me not to look longer cos I still feel bad for asking about Catherine and his

the longest drive of my entire life. Well maybe cos Nick is here that's why I'm thinking it's long and my subconscious mind keeps on telling me that Nick and I being in a place with small space

Why dreadful?

and my mind reading ability on Nick is bugging me every single time he looks at me briefly.

look at him. I pulled out my phone and kept gazing at it to check

Damn it.

So does he.

hold it in. I smiled. I smiled cos this was just too cute. And I'm a little amused by whatever game this is that we're playing right now. It was stupidly cute. I glance at

He smiles, too.

Oh god.

He.

Just.

Freaking.

Smiled.

Nick's face since the first time I saw him. It was a smile that pushes up into his eyes cos he's trying to hide it. The way his eyes got chinky and the way those crinkles around them

the road, but that smile is still on his face for several seconds and I can't stop staring at it. Oh god, I want to take a photo of it before it disappears again, before he gets all moody again, before he gets all stoic and hard

go lunatic. First he was so cold at me after I mentioned Catherine a while ago and now he's smiling cos we caught ourselves

I really have to pee." I

He says

into the gas station and parked. I quickly stepped out of the car and looked for the bathroom as soon as I found it, I just stared myself at the mirror. I really didn't want to pee but I just needed a different air.

different beverages. He wants me to choose between the coke and the other is juice. I shake my head. He picks another drink, it

choosy."

drive still long? You're buying some drinks." I said, picking up a

just thirsty and I'd be selfish enough only to buy drinks

has to

us headed to the cashier while I grab a few junk foods. "Where

our mother." He

this good mood he's in. He paid for the drinks but I paid for the junk foods I grabbed. It wasn't just for my consumption but for the three

placed my feet back on the console while chewing on the junk foods on my lap. "Want

focuses on his driving. I ate quietly while the music on his car was the only thing sounding again inside. It was a J.Lo song called Jenny From The Block and I was mouthing the words to it. I moved my head along while I think of myself that I was rapping good. I was killing the song, I tell you, even my hands were moving. I was carried away by the song until I notice that Nick was slightly smiling as he gazes at me, making a fool out of myself.

about

me? It's J.Lo." I answered

rest on the console, but my feet are