Love Aint Always Pretty

Pag-ibig

Translation: Love

Origin: Filipino

61

"I love Savannah, sir. I can't stay away from her." Nick added.

I have never heard such beautiful words coming from Nick's lips. I have never thought he would say that. I never expected he'd say that in front of me and in front of my dad. I couldn't even look away from his gaze because I felt it when he said that he loved me. I know he means it. I know he loves me.

"Go to bed, Savannah. I've had enough for tonight. We'll talk tomorrow." My dad tells me but didn't say anything to Nick.

I watch my dad walk away from us and headed out of the kitchen. My heart is pounding harder and harder inside my chest now that I'm alone with Nick. Both of us were quiet. Both of us were still standing next to each other. Both of us obviously didn't know what to say and how to react to what he just said out. I wanna ask him if he means it. I wanna ask him he does love me and he didn't just say it cos he needs to cover up for that kiss.

"Let me walk you up to your room?"

I moved my head to Nick and he was looking at me. His blue eyes is so beautiful and I wanna kiss him again.

"Did you... Mean it Nick?" I finally asked.

He bent his head down. "Let me walk you up to your room Savannah."

I sigh. I'm sad about what he answered me cos now it's clear to me that he just said that out cos my dad caught us kissing. He obviously doesn't love me. He can never learn to love me. Nick will never ever fall in love again.

Both of us went out of the kitchen and he walked me to my room. I was quiet and so was he. We both didn't talk to each other until we reached outside of my room. I opened the door and he didn't even tell me goodnight. He just watched me go inside and once he made sure I was in, he started walking back to his room. I wanted him to sleep with me. I wanted to wake up the following morning with him by my side. I wanted to make sure that he won't leave tomorrow. I slowly closed the door and threw myself to bed. I'm so mad at him. I'm super mad.

Why does he need to say it when I'm around, knowing that it will only hurt me if he didn't mean it anyways.

I tried to go to sleep but I can't. I kept closing my eyes but I really can't sleep. I lay on my bed for twenty goddamn minutes straight, forcing myself to sleep but it's no use. My mind is filled with Nick and those words he said. He sounded like he did mean it but why can't he say it to me? All of a sudden my tears were streaming out from the corners of my eyes without me knowing it. I hate it when I cry for some same reason. I know Nick couldn't love me but why am I still hoping that he can and that he will? And why does he always make my hopes up?

My phone suddenly vibrated on top of my side table drawer. I reached for it. A message from Nick. I wanted to ignore it but a part of me wants to read it now.

I gave in anyways.

Are you still up? - Nick

I wanted to reply but then I don't want to face him right now. I'm crying again and I don't want him to know that I still cry cos of him cos even if I cry a thousand times, I know for sure nothing will change. Even if my eyes will dry up and tears won't fall anymore, I'm sure as hell that he will never ever learn to love me.

My phone vibrated on my hand again.

I'm outside your room. Open your door. Please. - Nick

My heart skipped a beat. I quickly pulled myself up and headed to my door silently. I stood right before door as I reach for the knob. I was in doubts but I wanna know what he came here for. I wanna hear him out even if this will hurt me. I know what he's gonna say. I know he will tell me he's sorry for what he said to my dad and that he didn't mean to say it.

I sigh.

What are you doing Savannah? Why do you always let Nick hurt you?

My phone vibrated once more.

Please. We need to talk. - Nick

I finally twisted the knob and took a deep breath in before finally opening the door. Nick's height hovers over me while his head was bent down low. His arm was resting on my doorway while his shirt was pulled up, showing his v. He was barefoot. Slowly, he pulled his head up to me and looked into my eyes.

"What do you want Nick?" I asked, as if I'm not distracted by his v-line.

"Did I wake you up?"

I shake my head.

let me in?" He

him. He walks inside the room and I headed to the

ago,

I cut him off. "I know you didn't mean it. And if you just came here to tell me you're sorry, please don't. You really don't have to

tears gathering around my eyelids again. All of a sudden he was already standing before me. He's already hugging me. He's already wrapping his arms around me. My tears are falling... And more tears are coming out. It's not stopping. I

are you

I know you didn't mean to say it Nick. Why are you still

gonna say to him. He's kissing me deeply but passionately, I let him kiss me. I didn't move but then a few seconds passed I gave in. I kissed him back while my tears were falling down on

say breathlessly

forehead resting

it when I said I loved you."

Oh my god.

couldn't believe what I just heard. My tears are filling up my eyes again and now happy tears

love you Savannah." He

house. I wanna pull my hair. I wanna go crazy cos Nick just

it again." I

lips again. "I love you with all that's

wide and wide. I threw myself to him and just hugged him as tight as I could. His arms are

I love you."

him. He pushed my hair off

single time we are together and when I am around you, the things I would feel would terribly frighten me cos I

listen to

anymore. I thought I was capable of not falling in love again and I was sure I won't. Though it

my tears filled my eyes. I couldn't help but hear

also push you away or I'll be gone for days without seeing you cos I was filled with guilt

He sighs heavily.

always push you away. It's what I

are you afraid of

of my past and cos of what I've done. It even became worst when I found out your brother was Cameron. He came from an extremely rich family and my past is wrecked. But you were my source of life and my happiness Savannah even though I don't deserve

cry. "Nick, you deserve happiness again. You deserve me. I don't care if you had a criminal record or you went to jail. I don't care about your past. I loved you cos of you and what you showed me. Beneath

don't see what I see when

closer and kissed

sorry it took me so long before I could tell you about this. I just wanted to get myself ready and prepare the right words to say to

I smiled at him.

said the perfect words Nick." I tell

saw something in what we have even if what we have was so ugly and you didn't gave up on us even after all those times I hurt you. All those times I left you. All those times I made you feel worthless. And that means so much more to me than anything that anyone

smile creeps

yours now Savannah. Me and my horrible

longer while he kisses me back. "I love

smiles at me. "I

kissed again as I feel him walking to my bed and putting me down slowly on top of the mattress. He's over me and we smiled

He reminds me with a smile on

It's Christmas anyways. I need my Christmas gift. You need

He laughs.

won't scream."

off nose. "I

open and placed the condom on his hard length while he keeps kissing on my neck. I feel

I gasp.

his tip until the last end of his length inside me. He looks at me as I loose control beneath him. His eyes doesn't look away, he's looking at

Look at me like that." I say

smiles, "Like what?" He says while he's

argh.. look at me right now. It's making me... Conscious." I

forward and kissed my forehead while he's still

make love