Klempner - Twenty-Six Years Ago

The air is glacial, but although the breeze whips through my hair, I’m not cold. Instead, invigorated, I feel strong and ready for anything.

Standing by the frozen sea, I watch the wind drawing snow across the ice in a whirling dervish of frozen granules that lash around my feet. And I think of the last time I did this, here, with her.

Valentine’s Day coming up… I’ll be back in time.

Get her a present…

What would she like?

Something regional? She loved Helsinki…

Some of the local food?

Then I remember her bending over the porcelain, throwing up gravlax and vodka in equal measure…

Maybe not…

Jewellery?

Still persuading her to wear the emeralds I gave her…

A piece of art?

?

?

Perfect.

I head for the town centre, searching for galleries and craft shops, not knowing just what I’m looking for.

But I’ll know it when I see it…

Most are full of the kind of useless knick-knacks that are met with an ‘Oh, how lovely. You shouldn’t have.” greeting, then get pushed to the back of the cupboard: I-Heart-Helsinki fridge-magnets, overpriced chocolates and tee-shirts, dolls in fake Laplander costumes.

Weirdly, some of the gift shops are stocked with mementoes which seem to me completely out of place. Who comes to Helsinki to buy posters of London buses or ‘New York They named it twice’ tee-shirts?

Am I missing something?

Nope…

And then, there it is.

Beautifully painted by some local artist with more Js and Ks in the name than English allows: a scene of the frozen sea, painted from almost where I stood only a couple of hours ago with ice grit-blasting my clothes. A couple stand hand-in-hand looking out over a glinting scene of white and blue, and in the distance, a lone figure sits fishing.

The price, like everything in Helsinki, is horrendous, but who cares? Money is nothing. Mitch is…

… Mitch.

Padded and carefully gift-wrapped, I tuck the package under my arm and head back for the ferry port.

Time to go home…

Home?

When did I ever think of home before?

She’s waiting.

*****

Michael

“How is she?”

say she’s gotten past denial, but I almost wish she’d cry… Get it out of her system. Instead, she

loss of a

panicking over

Both bereft…

What a fucking mess.

for a parent. It’s going to take

a moment. “I think,” he says, “part of the problem is that not knowing much about him, she’s cooked up some idealised

father who never

of his

to come out of her funk. However…” I raise a forefinger… “… What we might

“Like?”

when did she last have

back. Just sits there wallowing in pizza boxes and boil-in-a-minute noodles. I’m happy to cook anything we can get down her, but first, we have to get her attention.” He jerks his chin towards the lounge. “You want to get

on the table. “No, I don't think so. Not this time. On this occasion, I

shift to

James straightens up, plucks at a

nothing for a long second, then, “Come on

to the lounge. Charlotte sits on the couch, hugging her knees, gazing slack-faced

What’s she thinking...?

… Feeling….?

Fear?

Loss?

?

?

Humiliation?

“Charlotte?” There’s no softness in his

doesn’t turn, maintaining her vigil of the

folded, “I expect you to look at me when

then turns to face him.

“Come here.”

then shuffles across the room to stand before him. “Yes, Master?” But she doesn’t meet his eyes. Head low, her fingers wind

Yes… humiliation…

creased, spotted with what look like

Doesn’t smell great either…

when we speak. Your face lowered in submission is acceptable. Your head hanging

Her voice chokes. “Master…”

to me, Charlotte. Nothing has changed. Nothing. You are exactly the same person

“But I’m not. I…” The

Finally crying?

Good…

God’s sake let it

that is any different is inside your head. You are not Jenny, the child victim. You are Charlotte, the woman who reinvented herself, who knew what she wanted and took on all

her. I saw you do it. I saw you auction yourself to the highest bidder; to me; because doing so would take you where you wanted to go. Even though you

that does not mean he has any power over you. Klempner has no hold over you unless you give it to him. And you are too strong to let that happen. Do you

of those choices is whether or not she lets something

swallows, her sobs subsiding

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