Klempner - Twenty-Six Years Ago

The air is glacial, but although the breeze whips through my hair, I’m not cold. Instead, invigorated, I feel strong and ready for anything.

Standing by the frozen sea, I watch the wind drawing snow across the ice in a whirling dervish of frozen granules that lash around my feet. And I think of the last time I did this, here, with her.

Valentine’s Day coming up… I’ll be back in time.

Get her a present…

What would she like?

Something regional? She loved Helsinki…

Some of the local food?

Then I remember her bending over the porcelain, throwing up gravlax and vodka in equal measure…

Maybe not…

Jewellery?

Still persuading her to wear the emeralds I gave her…

A piece of art?

?

?

Perfect.

I head for the town centre, searching for galleries and craft shops, not knowing just what I’m looking for.

But I’ll know it when I see it…

Most are full of the kind of useless knick-knacks that are met with an ‘Oh, how lovely. You shouldn’t have.” greeting, then get pushed to the back of the cupboard: I-Heart-Helsinki fridge-magnets, overpriced chocolates and tee-shirts, dolls in fake Laplander costumes.

Weirdly, some of the gift shops are stocked with mementoes which seem to me completely out of place. Who comes to Helsinki to buy posters of London buses or ‘New York They named it twice’ tee-shirts?

Am I missing something?

Nope…

And then, there it is.

Beautifully painted by some local artist with more Js and Ks in the name than English allows: a scene of the frozen sea, painted from almost where I stood only a couple of hours ago with ice grit-blasting my clothes. A couple stand hand-in-hand looking out over a glinting scene of white and blue, and in the distance, a lone figure sits fishing.

The price, like everything in Helsinki, is horrendous, but who cares? Money is nothing. Mitch is…

… Mitch.

Padded and carefully gift-wrapped, I tuck the package under my arm and head back for the ferry port.

Time to go home…

Home?

When did I ever think of home before?

She’s waiting.

*****

Michael

“How is she?”

hands knuckled on the kitchen table, head bowed. “The same. Not good. I’d say she’s gotten past denial, but I almost wish she’d cry… Get it out of her system. Instead, she behaves as

loss of a

panicking over gaining a

Both bereft…

What a fucking mess.

I say. “… Discovering she has a psychopath for a parent. It’s going to take

think,” he says, “part of the problem is that

perfect father

rubs at the back of his head. “How the hell do we deal

of her funk. However…” I raise

“Like?”

when did she last have a bath? Or a proper

she's had a bath since we got back. Just sits there wallowing in pizza boxes and boil-in-a-minute noodles. I’m happy to cook anything we can get down her, but first, we have to get her attention.” He jerks his chin towards

on the table. “No, I don't think so. Not this time. On this occasion, I think she needs what you

shift to mine. “You

knocking back into reality.” James straightens up, plucks at a lip. “You might

then, “Come on then. You’d better be there too but stay

the couch, hugging her

What’s she thinking...?

… Feeling….?

Fear?

Loss?

?

?

Humiliation?

There’s no softness in

maintaining her vigil of the flames.

expect you to look at

hunches, then turns to face him.

“Come here.”

to stand, then shuffles across the room to stand before him. “Yes, Master?” But she doesn’t meet his eyes. Head low, her fingers wind

Yes… humiliation…

creased, spotted with what look like tomato stains, and she’s still carrying traces of makeup she put on days ago; mascara gone

Doesn’t smell great either…

appropriately when we speak. Your face lowered in submission is acceptable. Your head hanging in

Her voice chokes. “Master…”

her by the shoulders, pinning her, almost shaking her. “Listen to me, Charlotte. Nothing has changed. Nothing. You are exactly the same

at him. “But I’m

Finally crying?

Good…

God’s sake

not Jenny, the child victim. You are Charlotte, the woman who reinvented herself, who knew what she wanted and

where you wanted to go. Even though you knew it was dangerous. Even though your memories must have made that an appalling

just because that man might be, genetically, your sire… I don’t say father… that does not mean he has any power over you. Klempner has

didn't have choices, but Charlotte does. And one of those choices is whether or not she lets something that is part

sobs

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