Klempner - Twenty-Six Years Ago

The air is glacial, but although the breeze whips through my hair, I’m not cold. Instead, invigorated, I feel strong and ready for anything.

Standing by the frozen sea, I watch the wind drawing snow across the ice in a whirling dervish of frozen granules that lash around my feet. And I think of the last time I did this, here, with her.

Valentine’s Day coming up… I’ll be back in time.

Get her a present…

What would she like?

Something regional? She loved Helsinki…

Some of the local food?

Then I remember her bending over the porcelain, throwing up gravlax and vodka in equal measure…

Maybe not…

Jewellery?

Still persuading her to wear the emeralds I gave her…

A piece of art?

?

?

Perfect.

I head for the town centre, searching for galleries and craft shops, not knowing just what I’m looking for.

But I’ll know it when I see it…

Most are full of the kind of useless knick-knacks that are met with an ‘Oh, how lovely. You shouldn’t have.” greeting, then get pushed to the back of the cupboard: I-Heart-Helsinki fridge-magnets, overpriced chocolates and tee-shirts, dolls in fake Laplander costumes.

Weirdly, some of the gift shops are stocked with mementoes which seem to me completely out of place. Who comes to Helsinki to buy posters of London buses or ‘New York They named it twice’ tee-shirts?

Am I missing something?

Nope…

And then, there it is.

Beautifully painted by some local artist with more Js and Ks in the name than English allows: a scene of the frozen sea, painted from almost where I stood only a couple of hours ago with ice grit-blasting my clothes. A couple stand hand-in-hand looking out over a glinting scene of white and blue, and in the distance, a lone figure sits fishing.

The price, like everything in Helsinki, is horrendous, but who cares? Money is nothing. Mitch is…

… Mitch.

Padded and carefully gift-wrapped, I tuck the package under my arm and head back for the ferry port.

Time to go home…

Home?

When did I ever think of home before?

She’s waiting.

*****

Michael

“How is she?”

table, head bowed. “The same. Not good. I’d say she’s gotten past denial, but I almost wish she’d cry… Get it out of her system. Instead, she behaves

mourning the loss of

over gaining a

Both bereft…

What a fucking mess.

has a psychopath for a

his nose, eyes squeezing closed for a moment. “I think,” he says, “part of the problem is that not knowing much about him, she’s cooked up some idealised vision

perfect father who never

it turns out, yes.” He rubs at the back of his head. “How the hell do

thing that deals with it. We simply wait for her to come out of her funk. However…” I raise a forefinger… “… What we might

“Like?”

when did she last have a

in pizza boxes and boil-in-a-minute noodles. I’m happy to cook anything we can get down her, but first,

the chair back, cross my ankles up on the table. “No, I don't think so. Not this time. On this occasion, I think she needs what

to mine. “You

carrying this one. She needs knocking back into reality.” James straightens up, plucks at a lip. “You might like to know,” I add, “that I turned on the heating downstairs first thing

you’re right.” He stares into nothing for a long second, then, “Come on then. You’d

hugging her knees, gazing slack-faced into the fire. She

What’s she thinking...?

… Feeling….?

Fear?

Loss?

?

?

Humiliation?

speaks. “Charlotte?” There’s no

her

you

turns to face

“Come here.”

uncrumples from her self-hug to stand, then shuffles across the room to stand before him. “Yes, Master?” But she doesn’t meet his eyes. Head low, her fingers wind and twist together, unwind

Yes… humiliation…

greasy rat-tails and her face is sallow. Clothes are creased, spotted with what look like

Doesn’t smell great either…

am your Master. You will behave appropriately when we speak. Your face lowered in submission

Her voice chokes. “Master…”

pinning her, almost shaking her. “Listen to me, Charlotte. Nothing has changed. Nothing. You are exactly the same person

him. “But I’m not. I…” The words

Finally crying?

Good…

God’s sake let

who knew what she wanted and took on all

threw at her. I saw you do it. I saw you auction yourself to the highest bidder; to me; because doing so would take you where you wanted to go. Even though you knew it was dangerous. Even though your memories must have made

your sire… I don’t say father… that does not mean he has any

those choices is whether or not

sobs subsiding a

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