Klempner - Twenty-Six Years Ago
The air is glacial, but although the breeze whips through my hair, I’m not cold. Instead, invigorated, I feel strong and ready for anything.
Standing by the frozen sea, I watch the wind drawing snow across the ice in a whirling dervish of frozen granules that lash around my feet. And I think of the last time I did this, here, with her.
Valentine’s Day coming up… I’ll be back in time.
Get her a present…
What would she like?
Something regional? She loved Helsinki…
Some of the local food?
Then I remember her bending over the porcelain, throwing up gravlax and vodka in equal measure…
Maybe not…
Jewellery?
Still persuading her to wear the emeralds I gave her…
A piece of art?
?
?
Perfect.
I head for the town centre, searching for galleries and craft shops, not knowing just what I’m looking for.
But I’ll know it when I see it…
Most are full of the kind of useless knick-knacks that are met with an ‘Oh, how lovely. You shouldn’t have.” greeting, then get pushed to the back of the cupboard: I-Heart-Helsinki fridge-magnets, overpriced chocolates and tee-shirts, dolls in fake Laplander costumes.
Weirdly, some of the gift shops are stocked with mementoes which seem to me completely out of place. Who comes to Helsinki to buy posters of London buses or ‘New York They named it twice’ tee-shirts?
Am I missing something?
Nope…
And then, there it is.
Beautifully painted by some local artist with more Js and Ks in the name than English allows: a scene of the frozen sea, painted from almost where I stood only a couple of hours ago with ice grit-blasting my clothes. A couple stand hand-in-hand looking out over a glinting scene of white and blue, and in the distance, a lone figure sits fishing.
The price, like everything in Helsinki, is horrendous, but who cares? Money is nothing. Mitch is…
… Mitch.
Padded and carefully gift-wrapped, I tuck the package under my arm and head back for the ferry port.
Time to go home…
Home?
When did I ever think of home before?
She’s waiting.
*****
Michael
“How is she?”
say she’s gotten past denial,
the loss of a
panicking over gaining
Both bereft…
…
What a fucking mess.
a psychopath for a parent. It’s going to take time
the bridge of his nose, eyes squeezing closed for a moment. “I think,” he says, “part of the problem is that not knowing much about him, she’s cooked up some idealised
perfect father who never
at the back of his head. “How the
may be the only thing that deals with it. We simply wait for her to come out of her funk. However…” I raise a forefinger… “… What we might try is to deal
“Like?”
when did she last have a
Just sits there wallowing in pizza boxes and boil-in-a-minute noodles. I’m happy to cook anything we can get down her, but first, we have to get her
back, cross my ankles up on the table. “No, I don't think so. Not this time. On this
eyes shift to mine. “You
back into reality.” James straightens up, plucks at a lip. “You might like to know,” I add, “that I turned
long second, then, “Come on then.
the couch, hugging her knees, gazing slack-faced into
What’s she thinking...?
… Feeling….?
Fear?
Loss?
?
?
Humiliation?
“Charlotte?” There’s no softness in his
doesn’t turn, maintaining her
folded, “I expect you to look at me when I address
then turns to face
“Come here.”
her self-hug to stand, then shuffles across the room to stand before him. “Yes, Master?” But she doesn’t meet his
Yes… humiliation…
rat-tails and her face is sallow. Clothes are creased, spotted with what look like tomato stains, and she’s still carrying traces of makeup she
Doesn’t smell great either…
Master. You will behave appropriately when we speak. Your face lowered in
Her voice chokes. “Master…”
pinning her, almost shaking her. “Listen to me, Charlotte. Nothing has changed. Nothing. You are exactly the same person you were a few
look at him. “But I’m not.
Finally crying?
Good…
God’s sake
woman who reinvented herself, who knew what she wanted and took on all comers to get it. The woman who took the world by
“Charlotte faced down everything life threw at her. I saw you do it. I saw you auction yourself to the highest bidder; to me; because doing so would take you where you wanted to go. Even though you knew it was dangerous. Even though your memories must have made that an appalling decision for you to take.” He’s still holding her, jolting her at the shoulders to punctuate his words. And each shake draws a
you with assault and gang-rape. And just because that man might be, genetically, your sire… I don’t say father… that does not mean he has any power over you. Klempner has no hold over you unless you give it to him. And you are too
have choices, but Charlotte does. And one of those choices is whether or not she lets something that is part of her past control her present and
sobs subsiding
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