Klempner - Twenty-Six Years Ago
The air is glacial, but although the breeze whips through my hair, I’m not cold. Instead, invigorated, I feel strong and ready for anything.
Standing by the frozen sea, I watch the wind drawing snow across the ice in a whirling dervish of frozen granules that lash around my feet. And I think of the last time I did this, here, with her.
Valentine’s Day coming up… I’ll be back in time.
Get her a present…
What would she like?
Something regional? She loved Helsinki…
Some of the local food?
Then I remember her bending over the porcelain, throwing up gravlax and vodka in equal measure…
Maybe not…
Jewellery?
Still persuading her to wear the emeralds I gave her…
A piece of art?
?
?
Perfect.
I head for the town centre, searching for galleries and craft shops, not knowing just what I’m looking for.
But I’ll know it when I see it…
Most are full of the kind of useless knick-knacks that are met with an ‘Oh, how lovely. You shouldn’t have.” greeting, then get pushed to the back of the cupboard: I-Heart-Helsinki fridge-magnets, overpriced chocolates and tee-shirts, dolls in fake Laplander costumes.
Weirdly, some of the gift shops are stocked with mementoes which seem to me completely out of place. Who comes to Helsinki to buy posters of London buses or ‘New York They named it twice’ tee-shirts?
Am I missing something?
Nope…
And then, there it is.
Beautifully painted by some local artist with more Js and Ks in the name than English allows: a scene of the frozen sea, painted from almost where I stood only a couple of hours ago with ice grit-blasting my clothes. A couple stand hand-in-hand looking out over a glinting scene of white and blue, and in the distance, a lone figure sits fishing.
The price, like everything in Helsinki, is horrendous, but who cares? Money is nothing. Mitch is…
… Mitch.
Padded and carefully gift-wrapped, I tuck the package under my arm and head back for the ferry port.
Time to go home…
Home?
When did I ever think of home before?
She’s waiting.
*****
Michael
“How is she?”
on the kitchen table, head bowed. “The same. Not good. I’d say she’s gotten past denial, but I almost wish she’d cry… Get it out of her system. Instead, she
mourning the loss of
over gaining
Both bereft…
…
What a fucking mess.
she has a psychopath for a parent. It’s going to take time and
bridge of his nose, eyes squeezing closed for a moment. “I think,” he says, “part of the problem is that not knowing much about him, she’s cooked up some idealised vision of Conners in her
father who
out, yes.” He rubs at the back of his head. “How the
only thing that deals with it. We simply wait for her to come out of her funk. However…” I raise a forefinger… “… What we might try
“Like?”
have a bath? Or a
sits there wallowing in pizza boxes and boil-in-a-minute noodles. I’m happy to cook anything we can get down her, but first, we have to get her attention.” He jerks his chin towards the lounge. “You want
I don't think so.
to
knocking back into reality.” James straightens up, plucks at a lip. “You might like to know,” I add, “that I turned on the heating
second, then, “Come
Charlotte sits on the couch, hugging her knees, gazing
What’s she thinking...?
… Feeling….?
Fear?
Loss?
?
?
Humiliation?
“Charlotte?” There’s no softness in
turn, maintaining her vigil of the
his arms folded, “I expect you to look at me when I
turns to face
“Come here.”
from her self-hug to stand, then shuffles across the room to stand before him. “Yes, Master?” But she doesn’t meet his eyes. Head low, her fingers wind and twist together, unwind then
Yes… humiliation…
hangs in greasy rat-tails and her face is sallow. Clothes are creased, spotted with what
Doesn’t smell great either…
appropriately when we speak. Your
Her voice chokes. “Master…”
shaking her. “Listen to me, Charlotte. Nothing has changed. Nothing. You are exactly
“But I’m not.
Finally crying?
Good…
God’s sake
is inside your head. You are not Jenny, the child victim. You are Charlotte, the woman who reinvented herself, who knew what she wanted and took on all comers
wanted to go. Even though you knew it was dangerous. Even though your memories must have made that an appalling decision for you to take.” He’s still holding her, jolting her at the shoulders to punctuate his words. And each shake draws a
gang-rape. And just because that man might be, genetically, your sire… I don’t say father… that does not mean he has any power over you. Klempner has no hold over you unless you give it to him. And you are
those choices is whether or not she lets something that is part of her past
her sobs subsiding a
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