Klempner - Twenty-Six Years Ago
The air is glacial, but although the breeze whips through my hair, I’m not cold. Instead, invigorated, I feel strong and ready for anything.
Standing by the frozen sea, I watch the wind drawing snow across the ice in a whirling dervish of frozen granules that lash around my feet. And I think of the last time I did this, here, with her.
Valentine’s Day coming up… I’ll be back in time.
Get her a present…
What would she like?
Something regional? She loved Helsinki…
Some of the local food?
Then I remember her bending over the porcelain, throwing up gravlax and vodka in equal measure…
Maybe not…
Jewellery?
Still persuading her to wear the emeralds I gave her…
A piece of art?
?
?
Perfect.
I head for the town centre, searching for galleries and craft shops, not knowing just what I’m looking for.
But I’ll know it when I see it…
Most are full of the kind of useless knick-knacks that are met with an ‘Oh, how lovely. You shouldn’t have.” greeting, then get pushed to the back of the cupboard: I-Heart-Helsinki fridge-magnets, overpriced chocolates and tee-shirts, dolls in fake Laplander costumes.
Weirdly, some of the gift shops are stocked with mementoes which seem to me completely out of place. Who comes to Helsinki to buy posters of London buses or ‘New York They named it twice’ tee-shirts?
Am I missing something?
Nope…
And then, there it is.
Beautifully painted by some local artist with more Js and Ks in the name than English allows: a scene of the frozen sea, painted from almost where I stood only a couple of hours ago with ice grit-blasting my clothes. A couple stand hand-in-hand looking out over a glinting scene of white and blue, and in the distance, a lone figure sits fishing.
The price, like everything in Helsinki, is horrendous, but who cares? Money is nothing. Mitch is…
… Mitch.
Padded and carefully gift-wrapped, I tuck the package under my arm and head back for the ferry port.
Time to go home…
Home?
When did I ever think of home before?
She’s waiting.
*****
Michael
“How is she?”
she’s gotten past denial, but I almost wish she’d cry… Get it out of her
mourning the loss of a
over gaining a
Both bereft…
…
What a fucking mess.
probably the right word…” I say. “… Discovering she has a psychopath for a parent. It’s
think,” he says, “part of the problem is that not knowing much about him, she’s
father who never
turns out, yes.” He rubs at the back of his head. “How the hell do we deal with
be the only thing that deals with it. We simply wait for her to come out of her funk. However…” I raise a forefinger… “… What we might try is to deal
“Like?”
she last have a bath?
had a bath since we got back. Just sits there wallowing in pizza boxes and boil-in-a-minute noodles. I’m happy to cook anything we can get down her, but first, we have to get her attention.” He
back, cross my ankles up on the table. “No, I don't think so. Not this time. On
shift to mine.
into reality.” James straightens up, plucks at a lip. “You might like to know,” I add, “that I turned on the heating downstairs first
in silence, then, “Maybe you’re right.” He stares into nothing for a long second, then, “Come on then. You’d better be there too but stay in the
couch, hugging her knees, gazing slack-faced into the fire. She doesn’t appear
What’s she thinking...?
… Feeling….?
Fear?
Loss?
?
?
Humiliation?
“Charlotte?” There’s no softness in his
doesn’t turn, maintaining her vigil of the flames.
expect you to look at me
hunches, then turns to face him. “Sorry,
“Come here.”
to stand before him. “Yes, Master?” But she doesn’t meet his eyes. Head
Yes… humiliation…
are creased, spotted with what look like tomato stains, and
Doesn’t smell great either…
appropriately when we speak. Your face lowered in submission is acceptable. Your head
Her voice chokes. “Master…”
pinning her, almost shaking her. “Listen to me, Charlotte. Nothing has
“But I’m
Finally crying?
Good…
God’s sake let
You are Charlotte, the woman who reinvented herself, who knew what she wanted and took on all comers to get it. The woman who took the world by the throat and shook until it gave her what
everything life threw at her. I saw you do it. I saw you auction yourself to the highest bidder; to me; because doing so would take you where you wanted to go. Even though you knew it was dangerous. Even though your memories must have made that an appalling decision for you to take.”
who terrorised your childhood and who threatened you with assault and gang-rape. And just because that man might be, genetically, your sire… I don’t say father… that does not mean he has any power over you. Klempner has no hold over you unless you give it
does. And one of those choices is whether or not she lets something that is part of her past
her sobs
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