Klempner - Twenty-Six Years Ago

The air is glacial, but although the breeze whips through my hair, I’m not cold. Instead, invigorated, I feel strong and ready for anything.

Standing by the frozen sea, I watch the wind drawing snow across the ice in a whirling dervish of frozen granules that lash around my feet. And I think of the last time I did this, here, with her.

Valentine’s Day coming up… I’ll be back in time.

Get her a present…

What would she like?

Something regional? She loved Helsinki…

Some of the local food?

Then I remember her bending over the porcelain, throwing up gravlax and vodka in equal measure…

Maybe not…

Jewellery?

Still persuading her to wear the emeralds I gave her…

A piece of art?

?

?

Perfect.

I head for the town centre, searching for galleries and craft shops, not knowing just what I’m looking for.

But I’ll know it when I see it…

Most are full of the kind of useless knick-knacks that are met with an ‘Oh, how lovely. You shouldn’t have.” greeting, then get pushed to the back of the cupboard: I-Heart-Helsinki fridge-magnets, overpriced chocolates and tee-shirts, dolls in fake Laplander costumes.

Weirdly, some of the gift shops are stocked with mementoes which seem to me completely out of place. Who comes to Helsinki to buy posters of London buses or ‘New York They named it twice’ tee-shirts?

Am I missing something?

Nope…

And then, there it is.

Beautifully painted by some local artist with more Js and Ks in the name than English allows: a scene of the frozen sea, painted from almost where I stood only a couple of hours ago with ice grit-blasting my clothes. A couple stand hand-in-hand looking out over a glinting scene of white and blue, and in the distance, a lone figure sits fishing.

The price, like everything in Helsinki, is horrendous, but who cares? Money is nothing. Mitch is…

… Mitch.

Padded and carefully gift-wrapped, I tuck the package under my arm and head back for the ferry port.

Time to go home…

Home?

When did I ever think of home before?

She’s waiting.

*****

Michael

“How is she?”

I’d say she’s gotten past denial, but I almost wish she’d

loss of

over gaining a

Both bereft…

What a fucking mess.

psychopath for a parent. It’s

of the problem

father who never

of his

come out of her funk. However…” I raise a forefinger… “… What we might

“Like?”

did she last have

boxes and boil-in-a-minute noodles. I’m happy to cook anything we can get down her, but first, we have to get her attention.” He jerks his chin towards the lounge. “You want to get in there

ankles up on the table. “No, I don't think so. Not this time. On this occasion, I think she needs

shift to mine. “You

carrying this one. She needs knocking back into reality.” James straightens up, plucks at a lip. “You might like to know,” I add, “that I turned on the heating downstairs

Ahhhs in silence, then, “Maybe you’re right.” He stares into nothing for a long second, then, “Come on then. You’d better be there too but stay

the couch, hugging her knees,

What’s she thinking...?

… Feeling….?

Fear?

Loss?

?

?

Humiliation?

speaks. “Charlotte?” There’s no softness

her vigil of the flames.

arms folded, “I expect you to

hunches, then turns to face him.

“Come here.”

“Yes, Master?” But she doesn’t meet his eyes. Head low, her fingers wind and twist together,

Yes… humiliation…

since God-knows-when, hangs in greasy rat-tails and her face is sallow. Clothes are creased, spotted with what look like tomato stains, and she’s still carrying traces of makeup she put on days ago; mascara gone

Doesn’t smell great either…

your Master. You will behave appropriately when we speak. Your face lowered in submission is acceptable.

Her voice chokes. “Master…”

Nothing has changed. Nothing. You

I’m

Finally crying?

Good…

sake let it

what she wanted and took on all comers to get it. The woman who took the world by the

bidder; to me; because doing so would take you where you wanted to go. Even though you knew it was dangerous. Even though your memories must have made that an appalling

I don’t say father… that does not mean he has any power over you. Klempner has no hold over you unless you give it to him. And you are too strong to let that happen. Do

or not she lets something that

swallows, her sobs subsiding a

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