Klempner - Twenty-Six Years Ago

The air is glacial, but although the breeze whips through my hair, I’m not cold. Instead, invigorated, I feel strong and ready for anything.

Standing by the frozen sea, I watch the wind drawing snow across the ice in a whirling dervish of frozen granules that lash around my feet. And I think of the last time I did this, here, with her.

Valentine’s Day coming up… I’ll be back in time.

Get her a present…

What would she like?

Something regional? She loved Helsinki…

Some of the local food?

Then I remember her bending over the porcelain, throwing up gravlax and vodka in equal measure…

Maybe not…

Jewellery?

Still persuading her to wear the emeralds I gave her…

A piece of art?

?

?

Perfect.

I head for the town centre, searching for galleries and craft shops, not knowing just what I’m looking for.

But I’ll know it when I see it…

Most are full of the kind of useless knick-knacks that are met with an ‘Oh, how lovely. You shouldn’t have.” greeting, then get pushed to the back of the cupboard: I-Heart-Helsinki fridge-magnets, overpriced chocolates and tee-shirts, dolls in fake Laplander costumes.

Weirdly, some of the gift shops are stocked with mementoes which seem to me completely out of place. Who comes to Helsinki to buy posters of London buses or ‘New York They named it twice’ tee-shirts?

Am I missing something?

Nope…

And then, there it is.

Beautifully painted by some local artist with more Js and Ks in the name than English allows: a scene of the frozen sea, painted from almost where I stood only a couple of hours ago with ice grit-blasting my clothes. A couple stand hand-in-hand looking out over a glinting scene of white and blue, and in the distance, a lone figure sits fishing.

The price, like everything in Helsinki, is horrendous, but who cares? Money is nothing. Mitch is…

… Mitch.

Padded and carefully gift-wrapped, I tuck the package under my arm and head back for the ferry port.

Time to go home…

Home?

When did I ever think of home before?

She’s waiting.

*****

Michael

“How is she?”

head bowed. “The same. Not good. I’d say she’s gotten past denial, but I almost wish she’d cry… Get it out of

loss of

panicking over

Both bereft…

What a fucking mess.

right word…” I say. “… Discovering she has a psychopath for a parent. It’s going to take time and

“part of the problem is that not

father who never

at the back of his head. “How

the only thing that deals with it. We simply wait for her to come out of her funk. However…” I raise a forefinger… “… What we might try is to

“Like?”

last have

down her, but first, we have to get her attention.” He jerks his chin towards the lounge. “You want to get in there

cross my ankles up on the table. “No, I don't think so. Not this time. On this occasion, I think she

eyes shift to

reality.” James straightens up, plucks at a lip. “You might like to know,” I

in silence, then, “Maybe you’re right.” He stares into nothing for a long second, then, “Come on then. You’d

the couch, hugging

What’s she thinking...?

… Feeling….?

Fear?

Loss?

?

?

Humiliation?

speaks. “Charlotte?” There’s no

her vigil of

“I expect you to look at me

to face him.

“Come here.”

self-hug to stand, then shuffles across the room to stand before him. “Yes, Master?” But

Yes… humiliation…

and her face is sallow. Clothes are creased, spotted with what

Doesn’t smell great either…

when we speak. Your face lowered in submission

Her voice chokes. “Master…”

pinning her, almost shaking her. “Listen to me, Charlotte. Nothing has changed. Nothing. You are

“But I’m

Finally crying?

Good…

sake let it

knew what she wanted and took on all comers to get it. The woman who took the world by

I saw you do it. I saw you auction yourself to the highest bidder; to me; because doing so would take you where you wanted to go. Even though you knew it was dangerous. Even though your memories must

be, genetically, your sire… I don’t say father… that does

whether or not she lets something that is part of her

her sobs

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