Klempner - Twenty-Six Years Ago

The air is glacial, but although the breeze whips through my hair, I’m not cold. Instead, invigorated, I feel strong and ready for anything.

Standing by the frozen sea, I watch the wind drawing snow across the ice in a whirling dervish of frozen granules that lash around my feet. And I think of the last time I did this, here, with her.

Valentine’s Day coming up… I’ll be back in time.

Get her a present…

What would she like?

Something regional? She loved Helsinki…

Some of the local food?

Then I remember her bending over the porcelain, throwing up gravlax and vodka in equal measure…

Maybe not…

Jewellery?

Still persuading her to wear the emeralds I gave her…

A piece of art?

?

?

Perfect.

I head for the town centre, searching for galleries and craft shops, not knowing just what I’m looking for.

But I’ll know it when I see it…

Most are full of the kind of useless knick-knacks that are met with an ‘Oh, how lovely. You shouldn’t have.” greeting, then get pushed to the back of the cupboard: I-Heart-Helsinki fridge-magnets, overpriced chocolates and tee-shirts, dolls in fake Laplander costumes.

Weirdly, some of the gift shops are stocked with mementoes which seem to me completely out of place. Who comes to Helsinki to buy posters of London buses or ‘New York They named it twice’ tee-shirts?

Am I missing something?

Nope…

And then, there it is.

Beautifully painted by some local artist with more Js and Ks in the name than English allows: a scene of the frozen sea, painted from almost where I stood only a couple of hours ago with ice grit-blasting my clothes. A couple stand hand-in-hand looking out over a glinting scene of white and blue, and in the distance, a lone figure sits fishing.

The price, like everything in Helsinki, is horrendous, but who cares? Money is nothing. Mitch is…

… Mitch.

Padded and carefully gift-wrapped, I tuck the package under my arm and head back for the ferry port.

Time to go home…

Home?

When did I ever think of home before?

She’s waiting.

*****

Michael

“How is she?”

past denial, but I almost wish

loss of

panicking over gaining

Both bereft…

What a fucking mess.

right word…” I say. “… Discovering she has a psychopath for a parent. It’s going to take time and support to get her

he says, “part of the problem

father

rubs at the back of his head. “How the hell do we deal with

her to come out of her funk. However…” I raise a forefinger… “… What we might try is

“Like?”

she last have a bath?

got back. Just sits there wallowing in pizza boxes and boil-in-a-minute noodles. I’m happy to cook anything we can get down her, but first, we have to get her attention.” He

I don't think so. Not this time.

eyes shift to mine.

this one. She needs knocking back into reality.” James straightens up, plucks at a lip. “You might like to know,” I add, “that I

you’re right.” He stares into nothing for a long second, then, “Come on then. You’d better be there too but stay in the background if

on the couch, hugging her knees, gazing slack-faced into the fire. She doesn’t

What’s she thinking...?

… Feeling….?

Fear?

Loss?

?

?

Humiliation?

no softness

her

“I expect you to look at me when I address

to face

“Come here.”

stand before him. “Yes, Master?” But she doesn’t meet

Yes… humiliation…

with what look like tomato stains, and she’s still carrying traces of makeup she

Doesn’t smell great either…

You will behave appropriately when we speak. Your face lowered in submission is

Her voice chokes. “Master…”

Charlotte. Nothing

look at him. “But I’m not. I…” The words choke

Finally crying?

Good…

sake let it

the woman who reinvented herself, who knew what

you wanted to go. Even though you knew it was dangerous. Even though your memories must have made that an appalling decision

that does not mean he has any power over you. Klempner has no hold over

or not she lets something that is

her sobs subsiding

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