53. Insecurity

YILEYNA

I awoke with a start, jolting upright in bed. I scanned the room frantically.

Alone.

I was alone.

My heart was pounding, and once again, the nightmare of the night my parents were killed was replaying in my mind. I ran my trembling hand through my hair, closing my eyes as the emotions that I tried to control hit me full force.

Focus Yileyna, it’s ok. It’s going to be ok…

No, it wasn’t ok… They died saving me and were marked as traitors. They were not traitors!

I had to prove their innocence! I had to…

Goddess…

I wrapped my arms around my legs, burying my head in my knees.

Focus.

Breathe…

What time was it? Where was Theon? Was he still not back?

‘They’re dead.’ Theon’s words from that night rang in my head, I felt the crushing agony in my chest break its restraint and hit me brutally. It was my fault. They died because of me.

I won’t cry.

I can’t.

But I was unable to stop the tears from streaming down my cheeks as I pressed a fist against my chest, trying to control the pain that threatened to drown me.

It was my fault. They died because I was out there… Dad came to protect me.

dropping onto my side. The memories of that night,

Stop. Stop, Yileyna…

Think of something else…

abilities? How was it possible?

and I wanted it all to just go away. The bedroom

tears, but he was stronger than me, taking hold of my arms and forcing me to turn towards him. A frown creased his brow, his shirt was hanging open, his hair was

him to see the tears that

“What happened?”

low, but it was missing the coldness it usually held,

“Nothing. Nothing happened.” I whispered, trying to pull free from his hold, but he refused to let me go, pulling me

He

the

on the ground with me straddling him. My

his system, but I didn’t care, I needed something to keep me tethered from drowning in my pain, and he was here for me. He rubbed my back, sending sparks

“Talk to me, Yileyna.”

was ready to open up to him. I was tired of keeping it inside. But I couldn’t talk about them when

I whispered, pulling back so I could look into those amber eyes that I loved so

and

“I know…”

them or both are not my blood, they

my world.” I said

triggered these emotions within me, but I

but didn’t say anything. Instead, he reached up and cupped my neck, his thumbs brushing away my tears, only for

lost them… Then I felt like everything was being snatched from my grasp… I know you deserve to be Beta… But when it was taken away from me, I felt like the last

I wasn’t able to control these emotions. I was breaking and I

me. “I’m scared of losing everything I love…” I said quietly, looking up into his shimmering eyes. I’m scared of losing you. I love you. I didn’t

push him away by acting so vulnerable and needy? I wasn’t sure, but I couldn’t keep it inside of me any longer. It

he took a deep breath, looking at me sharply, and I knew he had changed his

are not traitors. Something or someone did this. I knew my parents, they would never do this.” I said desperately. How can he say

my head up slightly. “You might regret what

won’t, because I know they

and he didn’t reply, before clenching his jaw

ok.” He said quietly, almost as if he was speaking to

“I will.”

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