53. Insecurity

YILEYNA

I awoke with a start, jolting upright in bed. I scanned the room frantically.

Alone.

I was alone.

My heart was pounding, and once again, the nightmare of the night my parents were killed was replaying in my mind. I ran my trembling hand through my hair, closing my eyes as the emotions that I tried to control hit me full force.

Focus Yileyna, it’s ok. It’s going to be ok…

No, it wasn’t ok… They died saving me and were marked as traitors. They were not traitors!

I had to prove their innocence! I had to…

Goddess…

I wrapped my arms around my legs, burying my head in my knees.

Focus.

Breathe…

What time was it? Where was Theon? Was he still not back?

‘They’re dead.’ Theon’s words from that night rang in my head, I felt the crushing agony in my chest break its restraint and hit me brutally. It was my fault. They died because of me.

I won’t cry.

I can’t.

But I was unable to stop the tears from streaming down my cheeks as I pressed a fist against my chest, trying to control the pain that threatened to drown me.

It was my fault. They died because I was out there… Dad came to protect me.

The memories of that night, the wolves…

Stop. Stop, Yileyna…

Think of something else…

How was it possible?

of the unknown terrified me and I wanted it all to just go away. The bedroom door opened, and I quickly tried to cover my face, hoping Theon thought I was

tried to turn away, not wanting him to see my tears, but he was stronger than me, taking hold of my arms and forcing me to turn towards him. A frown creased his brow, his shirt was hanging open, his hair

him to see the tears that were streaming down my

“What happened?”

it was missing the coldness it usually

I whispered, trying to pull free from his hold, but he refused to let me go, pulling me upright and straight

He whispered,

the sob

pulled me closer, sitting back on the ground with me straddling him. My breasts were crushed against his chest, and his arms felt like a

be in his eyes and touch… Maybe it was the alcohol in his system, but I didn’t care, I needed something to keep me tethered from drowning in my pain, and he was here for me. He rubbed my back, sending sparks of pleasure through me, burying

“Talk to me, Yileyna.”

him. I was tired of keeping it inside. But I couldn’t talk about

whispered, pulling back so I could look into those amber eyes that

eyes shadowed and

“I know…”

of them or both are not my blood, they are still my

were my world.” I said

knew the revelation from earlier had only triggered these emotions within me,

didn’t say anything. Instead, he reached up and cupped my neck, his thumbs brushing

Beta… But when it was taken away from me, I felt like the last part of Mom

control

gripped his wrists, the pain of my memories twisting within me. “I’m scared of losing everything I love…” I said quietly, looking up into his shimmering eyes. I’m scared of losing you. I love

away by acting so vulnerable and needy? I wasn’t sure, but I couldn’t keep it inside of me any

sure what he was going to say but he took a deep breath, looking at me sharply, and I knew he had changed his mind. “They were traitors.

were framed. My parents are not traitors. Something or someone did this. I knew my parents, they would never do this.” I said desperately. How can he say that? He knew my father! “And

head up slightly. “You

I won’t, because I know they

reply, before clenching his

said quietly, almost as if he was speaking

“I will.”

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