53. Insecurity

YILEYNA

I awoke with a start, jolting upright in bed. I scanned the room frantically.

Alone.

I was alone.

My heart was pounding, and once again, the nightmare of the night my parents were killed was replaying in my mind. I ran my trembling hand through my hair, closing my eyes as the emotions that I tried to control hit me full force.

Focus Yileyna, it’s ok. It’s going to be ok…

No, it wasn’t ok… They died saving me and were marked as traitors. They were not traitors!

I had to prove their innocence! I had to…

Goddess…

I wrapped my arms around my legs, burying my head in my knees.

Focus.

Breathe…

What time was it? Where was Theon? Was he still not back?

‘They’re dead.’ Theon’s words from that night rang in my head, I felt the crushing agony in my chest break its restraint and hit me brutally. It was my fault. They died because of me.

I won’t cry.

I can’t.

But I was unable to stop the tears from streaming down my cheeks as I pressed a fist against my chest, trying to control the pain that threatened to drown me.

It was my fault. They died because I was out there… Dad came to protect me.

sob left my lips, and I curled up, dropping onto my side. The memories of that night,

Stop. Stop, Yileyna…

Think of something else…

How was it possible? The

unknown terrified me and I wanted it all to just go away. The bedroom door opened, and I quickly tried to cover my face, hoping Theon thought

but he was stronger than me, taking hold of my arms and forcing me to turn towards him. A frown creased his brow, his shirt was hanging open, his hair was a mess as if he had run his fingers

to see the

“What happened?”

low, but it was missing the coldness it usually held, almost

happened.” I whispered, trying to pull free from his hold, but he refused to let

wrong, little storm?” He whispered, stroking

to control the

on the ground with me straddling him. My breasts were crushed against his chest, and his arms felt like a shield, protecting me from the

in his eyes and touch… Maybe it was the alcohol in his system, but I didn’t care, I needed something to keep me tethered from drowning in my pain, and he was here for me. He rubbed my back, sending sparks of pleasure through me, burying his head in

“Talk to me, Yileyna.”

to him. I was tired of keeping it inside. But I couldn’t talk about

miss them.” I whispered, pulling back so I could look into

shadowed and he

“I know…”

them or both are not my blood, they

my world.” I

triggered

cupped my neck, his thumbs brushing away

was taken away from me, I felt like the last part of Mom and Dad I had was taken from me too.” I couldn’t

control these emotions. I was breaking and I needed to

wrists, the pain of my memories twisting within me. “I’m scared of losing everything I love…” I said quietly, looking up into

and needy? I wasn’t sure, but I couldn’t keep it inside of me any longer. It

me sharply, and I knew he

my parents, they would never do

sharp as he tilted my head up slightly. “You might regret what you find

I won’t, because I know

reply, before clenching his

Yileyna… Even when the world turns its back on you, I know you’ll be ok.” He said quietly, almost as if he was speaking to himself over me. It confused me

“I will.”

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