53. Insecurity
YILEYNA
I awoke with a start, jolting upright in bed. I scanned the room frantically.
Alone.
I was alone.
My heart was pounding, and once again, the nightmare of the night my parents were killed was replaying in my mind. I ran my trembling hand through my hair, closing my eyes as the emotions that I tried to control hit me full force.
Focus Yileyna, it’s ok. It’s going to be ok…
No, it wasn’t ok… They died saving me and were marked as traitors. They were not traitors!
I had to prove their innocence! I had to…
Goddess…
I wrapped my arms around my legs, burying my head in my knees.
Focus.
Breathe…
What time was it? Where was Theon? Was he still not back?
‘They’re dead.’ Theon’s words from that night rang in my head, I felt the crushing agony in my chest break its restraint and hit me brutally. It was my fault. They died because of me.
I won’t cry.
I can’t.
But I was unable to stop the tears from streaming down my cheeks as I pressed a fist against my chest, trying to control the pain that threatened to drown me.
It was my fault. They died because I was out there… Dad came to protect me.
of that night, the wolves… the bodies… the fire… they played before
Stop. Stop, Yileyna…
Think of something else…
was it
The fear of the unknown terrified me and I wanted it all to just go
forcing me to turn towards him. A frown creased his brow, his shirt was hanging open, his hair
wanting him to see the tears that
“What happened?”
low, but it was missing the coldness it usually held, almost
pull free from his hold, but he refused to let me go, pulling me upright and straight into his arms.
storm?” He
the sob
instantly pulled me closer, sitting back on the ground with
eyes and touch… Maybe it was the alcohol in his system, but I didn’t care, I needed something to keep me tethered from drowning in my pain, and he was here for me. He rubbed my back, sending sparks of pleasure through me, burying his head in my neck. We remained
“Talk to me, Yileyna.”
ready to open up to him. I was tired of
I could look into
and he
“I know…”
don’t care… I don’t care if one of them or both are not my blood, they are
were my world.”
earlier had only triggered these emotions within me, but I
nodded, but didn’t say anything. Instead, he reached up and cupped my neck, his thumbs brushing away my tears, only for
you deserve to be Beta… But when it was taken away from me, I felt like the last part of Mom and Dad I had was taken from me too.” I couldn’t
feeling so vulnerable, but I wasn’t able to control these emotions. I was
gripped his wrists, the pain of my memories twisting within me. “I’m scared of losing everything I love…” I said quietly, looking up into his
by acting so vulnerable and needy? I wasn’t sure, but I couldn’t keep it inside of me any longer. It hurt so
at me sharply, and I knew he had changed his mind. “They were traitors. Let the pain go.” I shook my
or someone did this. I knew my parents, they would never do this.” I said desperately. How can he say that? He knew my father! “And I’m going to find out
head up slightly. “You might regret
because I know
didn’t reply, before clenching his jaw and nodding
the world turns its back on you, I know you’ll be ok.” He said quietly, almost as if he
“I will.”
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