53. Insecurity

YILEYNA

I awoke with a start, jolting upright in bed. I scanned the room frantically.

Alone.

I was alone.

My heart was pounding, and once again, the nightmare of the night my parents were killed was replaying in my mind. I ran my trembling hand through my hair, closing my eyes as the emotions that I tried to control hit me full force.

Focus Yileyna, it’s ok. It’s going to be ok…

No, it wasn’t ok… They died saving me and were marked as traitors. They were not traitors!

I had to prove their innocence! I had to…

Goddess…

I wrapped my arms around my legs, burying my head in my knees.

Focus.

Breathe…

What time was it? Where was Theon? Was he still not back?

‘They’re dead.’ Theon’s words from that night rang in my head, I felt the crushing agony in my chest break its restraint and hit me brutally. It was my fault. They died because of me.

I won’t cry.

I can’t.

But I was unable to stop the tears from streaming down my cheeks as I pressed a fist against my chest, trying to control the pain that threatened to drown me.

It was my fault. They died because I was out there… Dad came to protect me.

The memories of that night, the wolves… the bodies… the fire… they played before my eyes like a horror

Stop. Stop, Yileyna…

Think of something else…

it

them. The fear of the unknown terrified me and I wanted it all to just go away. The bedroom door opened, and I quickly tried

he was stronger than me, taking hold of my arms and forcing me to turn towards him. A frown creased his

see the tears

“What happened?”

but it was missing the coldness it usually held,

from his hold, but he refused to let me go, pulling me upright and straight into his arms. My breath hitched, I fought to control my emotions as he

storm?” He

to control the sob that left my

closer, sitting back on the ground with me straddling him. My breasts were crushed against his chest, and

care, I needed something to keep me tethered from drowning in my pain, and he was here for me. He rubbed my back, sending sparks of pleasure through me, burying his head in my neck. We remained like that

“Talk to me, Yileyna.”

we argued earlier, but I was ready to open up to him. I was tired of keeping it inside. But I couldn’t talk about them

pulling back so I could look into those amber

eyes shadowed and he

“I know…”

one of them or both are not my blood, they are still my

were my world.” I said

from earlier had only triggered these emotions within me, but

he reached up and cupped my neck, his thumbs brushing away my

everything was being snatched from my grasp… I know you deserve to be Beta… But when it was taken away from me, I felt like the last

to control these emotions. I was breaking and I needed to

of my memories twisting within me. “I’m scared of losing everything I love…” I said quietly, looking up into his shimmering eyes. I’m scared

and needy? I wasn’t sure, but I couldn’t keep it inside of me any longer. It hurt

I wasn’t sure what he was going to say but he took a deep breath, looking at me sharply, and I knew he had

do this.” I said desperately. How can he say that? He knew my father! “And I’m going to find out the

eyes sharp as he tilted my head up slightly. “You might regret what you find out.” He

I won’t, because I know

didn’t reply, before clenching his jaw and nodding

be ok.” He said quietly, almost as if he was speaking to himself over me. It confused

“I will.”

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