53. Insecurity

YILEYNA

I awoke with a start, jolting upright in bed. I scanned the room frantically.

Alone.

I was alone.

My heart was pounding, and once again, the nightmare of the night my parents were killed was replaying in my mind. I ran my trembling hand through my hair, closing my eyes as the emotions that I tried to control hit me full force.

Focus Yileyna, it’s ok. It’s going to be ok…

No, it wasn’t ok… They died saving me and were marked as traitors. They were not traitors!

I had to prove their innocence! I had to…

Goddess…

I wrapped my arms around my legs, burying my head in my knees.

Focus.

Breathe…

What time was it? Where was Theon? Was he still not back?

‘They’re dead.’ Theon’s words from that night rang in my head, I felt the crushing agony in my chest break its restraint and hit me brutally. It was my fault. They died because of me.

I won’t cry.

I can’t.

But I was unable to stop the tears from streaming down my cheeks as I pressed a fist against my chest, trying to control the pain that threatened to drown me.

It was my fault. They died because I was out there… Dad came to protect me.

and I curled up, dropping onto my side. The memories of that night, the wolves… the bodies… the fire… they played before my eyes

Stop. Stop, Yileyna…

Think of something else…

it possible? The daughter of two

the unknown terrified me and I wanted it all to just go away. The bedroom door opened, and I quickly tried to cover my face, hoping Theon thought I was asleep

of my arms and forcing me to turn towards him. A frown creased his brow, his shirt was hanging open, his hair was a mess as if he had run his fingers through

not wanting him to see the tears that were streaming down my

“What happened?”

but it was

this. “Nothing. Nothing happened.” I whispered, trying to pull free from his hold, but he refused to let me go, pulling

storm?” He whispered, stroking my

unable to control the sob

sitting back on the ground with me straddling

be in his eyes and touch… Maybe it was the alcohol in his system, but I didn’t care, I needed something to keep me tethered from drowning in my pain, and he was here for me. He rubbed my back, sending sparks of pleasure through me, burying his head in my neck. We remained like that for a

“Talk to me, Yileyna.”

know we argued earlier, but I was ready to open up to him. I was tired of keeping it inside. But I couldn’t talk about them when they

I whispered, pulling back so I could look

shadowed and

“I know…”

one of them or both are not

world.” I

triggered

Instead, he reached up and cupped my neck, his thumbs brushing away my tears, only for more to fall

my grasp… I know you deserve to be Beta… But when it was taken away from me, I felt like the last part

control these emotions. I was breaking and I needed

of my memories twisting within me. “I’m scared of losing everything I love…” I said quietly, looking up into his shimmering eyes. I’m scared of losing you. I love you. I didn’t need to say it

sure, but I couldn’t keep it

to say but he took a deep breath, looking at me sharply, and I knew he

they would never do this.” I said desperately.

sharp as he tilted my head up slightly. “You might regret what you find out.” He

I won’t, because I know they

he didn’t reply, before clenching his jaw and

I know you’ll be ok.” He said quietly, almost as if he was speaking to himself over me. It confused me but I still

“I will.”

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