53. Insecurity

YILEYNA

I awoke with a start, jolting upright in bed. I scanned the room frantically.

Alone.

I was alone.

My heart was pounding, and once again, the nightmare of the night my parents were killed was replaying in my mind. I ran my trembling hand through my hair, closing my eyes as the emotions that I tried to control hit me full force.

Focus Yileyna, it’s ok. It’s going to be ok…

No, it wasn’t ok… They died saving me and were marked as traitors. They were not traitors!

I had to prove their innocence! I had to…

Goddess…

I wrapped my arms around my legs, burying my head in my knees.

Focus.

Breathe…

What time was it? Where was Theon? Was he still not back?

‘They’re dead.’ Theon’s words from that night rang in my head, I felt the crushing agony in my chest break its restraint and hit me brutally. It was my fault. They died because of me.

I won’t cry.

I can’t.

But I was unable to stop the tears from streaming down my cheeks as I pressed a fist against my chest, trying to control the pain that threatened to drown me.

It was my fault. They died because I was out there… Dad came to protect me.

and I curled up, dropping onto my side. The memories of that night, the wolves… the bodies… the

Stop. Stop, Yileyna…

Think of something else…

I have these odd abilities? How was it possible? The daughter of two

to just go away. The bedroom door opened, and I

tears, but he was stronger than me, taking hold of my arms and forcing me to turn towards him. A frown creased his brow, his shirt was hanging open, his hair was a mess as if he had run his fingers through it repeatedly, and

wanting him to see the tears that were

“What happened?”

husky and low, but it was missing the coldness it usually held, almost sounding

free from his hold, but he refused to let me go, pulling me upright and straight into his arms. My breath hitched, I fought to control my emotions as he held

He

was unable to control the sob

reply, knowing if I did, I would lose all control of my emotions. I locked my arms around his neck and he instantly pulled me closer, sitting back on the ground with me straddling him. My breasts were crushed against his chest, and his arms felt like a shield, protecting me from the world as he gently rocked me

it was the alcohol in his system, but I didn’t care, I needed something to keep me tethered from drowning in my pain, and he was here for me. He rubbed my back, sending sparks of pleasure through me, burying his head in my neck. We remained like that for a while, his scent and touch giving me the strength

“Talk to me, Yileyna.”

to him. I was tired of keeping it inside. But I

could look into those amber eyes

and he

“I know…”

care… I don’t care if one of them or both are not my

were my world.”

the revelation from earlier had only triggered these emotions within me, but

my neck, his thumbs brushing away my tears,

lost them… Then I felt like everything was being snatched from my grasp… I know you deserve to be Beta… But when it was taken away from me, I felt like the last part of Mom and Dad I had was

but I wasn’t able to control these emotions. I was breaking and

twisting within me. “I’m scared of losing everything I love…” I said quietly, looking up into his shimmering eyes. I’m scared of losing you. I

him away by acting so vulnerable and needy? I wasn’t sure, but I couldn’t keep it inside of me any longer. It hurt

I wasn’t sure what he was going to say but he took a deep breath, looking at me sharply, and I

someone did this. I knew my parents, they would never do

sharp as he tilted my head up slightly. “You might regret what you

I won’t, because I know they

reply,

you’ll be ok.” He said quietly, almost as

“I will.”

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