53. Insecurity

YILEYNA

I awoke with a start, jolting upright in bed. I scanned the room frantically.

Alone.

I was alone.

My heart was pounding, and once again, the nightmare of the night my parents were killed was replaying in my mind. I ran my trembling hand through my hair, closing my eyes as the emotions that I tried to control hit me full force.

Focus Yileyna, it’s ok. It’s going to be ok…

No, it wasn’t ok… They died saving me and were marked as traitors. They were not traitors!

I had to prove their innocence! I had to…

Goddess…

I wrapped my arms around my legs, burying my head in my knees.

Focus.

Breathe…

What time was it? Where was Theon? Was he still not back?

‘They’re dead.’ Theon’s words from that night rang in my head, I felt the crushing agony in my chest break its restraint and hit me brutally. It was my fault. They died because of me.

I won’t cry.

I can’t.

But I was unable to stop the tears from streaming down my cheeks as I pressed a fist against my chest, trying to control the pain that threatened to drown me.

It was my fault. They died because I was out there… Dad came to protect me.

lips, and I curled up, dropping onto my side. The memories of that night, the wolves… the bodies… the fire… they played

Stop. Stop, Yileyna…

Think of something else…

did I have these odd abilities? How was it

unknown terrified me and I wanted it all to just go away. The bedroom

than me, taking hold of my arms and forcing me to turn towards him. A frown creased his brow, his shirt was hanging open, his hair was a mess as if he had

him to see the tears that were streaming down my

“What happened?”

husky and low, but it was missing the coldness it usually

being weak, I hated him seeing me like this. “Nothing. Nothing happened.” I whispered, trying to pull free from his hold, but he refused to let me go, pulling me upright

little storm?” He whispered, stroking

the

control of my emotions. I locked my arms around his neck and he instantly pulled me closer, sitting back on the ground with

in his eyes and touch… Maybe it was the alcohol in his system, but I didn’t care, I needed something to keep me tethered from drowning in

“Talk to me, Yileyna.”

I was tired of

them.” I whispered, pulling back so I could look into those

shadowed and he

“I know…”

or both are not my blood, they are

were my world.” I said

revelation from earlier had only triggered these

my neck, his thumbs brushing away my tears, only for more

be Beta… But when it was taken away from me, I felt like the last part of Mom and Dad I had was taken from me too.” I couldn’t look

control these emotions. I

within me. “I’m scared of losing everything I love…” I said quietly, looking up into his shimmering eyes. I’m scared of losing you.

wasn’t sure, but I couldn’t keep it

deep breath, looking at me sharply, and I knew he had changed his mind. “They were traitors. Let the pain go.” I

would never do this.” I said desperately. How can he say that? He knew my father! “And

his eyes sharp as he tilted my head up slightly. “You might regret what you find out.”

because I

met, and he didn’t reply, before clenching his jaw and nodding

He said quietly, almost as if he was speaking to himself over me. It confused

“I will.”

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