53. Insecurity

YILEYNA

I awoke with a start, jolting upright in bed. I scanned the room frantically.

Alone.

I was alone.

My heart was pounding, and once again, the nightmare of the night my parents were killed was replaying in my mind. I ran my trembling hand through my hair, closing my eyes as the emotions that I tried to control hit me full force.

Focus Yileyna, it’s ok. It’s going to be ok…

No, it wasn’t ok… They died saving me and were marked as traitors. They were not traitors!

I had to prove their innocence! I had to…

Goddess…

I wrapped my arms around my legs, burying my head in my knees.

Focus.

Breathe…

What time was it? Where was Theon? Was he still not back?

‘They’re dead.’ Theon’s words from that night rang in my head, I felt the crushing agony in my chest break its restraint and hit me brutally. It was my fault. They died because of me.

I won’t cry.

I can’t.

But I was unable to stop the tears from streaming down my cheeks as I pressed a fist against my chest, trying to control the pain that threatened to drown me.

It was my fault. They died because I was out there… Dad came to protect me.

curled up, dropping onto my side. The memories of that night, the wolves… the bodies… the fire… they played before my eyes like

Stop. Stop, Yileyna…

Think of something else…

was it possible? The daughter of

all to just go away. The bedroom door opened, and I quickly tried to cover

away, not wanting him to see my tears, but he was stronger than me, taking hold of my arms and forcing me to turn towards him. A frown creased his brow, his shirt was hanging open, his hair was a mess as if he had run his fingers through it repeatedly, and the distinct smell of alcohol was coming from

looked away, not wanting him to see

“What happened?”

was husky and low, but it was missing the coldness

I hated him seeing me like this. “Nothing. Nothing happened.” I whispered, trying to pull free from his hold, but he refused to let me go, pulling

He whispered, stroking

was unable to control the

would lose all control of my emotions. I locked my arms around his neck and he instantly pulled me closer, sitting back on the

the emotions and concern that seemed to be in his eyes and touch… Maybe it was the alcohol in his system, but I didn’t care, I needed something to keep me tethered from drowning in my pain, and

“Talk to me, Yileyna.”

I was tired of keeping it inside.

whispered, pulling back so I could look into those amber

and

“I know…”

care if one of them or

were my world.” I said

earlier had only triggered these emotions within me, but I

anything. Instead, he reached up and cupped my neck, his thumbs brushing

you deserve to be Beta… But when it was taken away from me, I felt like the last part of Mom and

feeling so vulnerable, but I wasn’t able to control these

of my memories twisting within me. “I’m scared of losing everything I love…” I said quietly, looking up into his shimmering eyes. I’m scared of losing you. I love you. I didn’t need to say it because

wasn’t sure, but I couldn’t keep it inside of me any longer. It

was going to say but he took a deep breath, looking at me sharply, and I knew he had changed his mind. “They were traitors. Let the pain go.” I shook my

were framed. My parents are not traitors. Something or someone did this. I knew my parents, they would never do this.” I said desperately.

tilted my head up slightly. “You might regret what you find out.” He

because I know

reply, before clenching

ok.” He said quietly, almost as

“I will.”

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