53. Insecurity

YILEYNA

I awoke with a start, jolting upright in bed. I scanned the room frantically.

Alone.

I was alone.

My heart was pounding, and once again, the nightmare of the night my parents were killed was replaying in my mind. I ran my trembling hand through my hair, closing my eyes as the emotions that I tried to control hit me full force.

Focus Yileyna, it’s ok. It’s going to be ok…

No, it wasn’t ok… They died saving me and were marked as traitors. They were not traitors!

I had to prove their innocence! I had to…

Goddess…

I wrapped my arms around my legs, burying my head in my knees.

Focus.

Breathe…

What time was it? Where was Theon? Was he still not back?

‘They’re dead.’ Theon’s words from that night rang in my head, I felt the crushing agony in my chest break its restraint and hit me brutally. It was my fault. They died because of me.

I won’t cry.

I can’t.

But I was unable to stop the tears from streaming down my cheeks as I pressed a fist against my chest, trying to control the pain that threatened to drown me.

It was my fault. They died because I was out there… Dad came to protect me.

my side. The memories of that night, the wolves… the bodies… the fire… they played before my

Stop. Stop, Yileyna…

Think of something else…

it possible? The

and I wanted it all to just go away. The bedroom door opened, and I quickly tried to cover my face,

see my tears, but he was stronger than me, taking hold of my arms and forcing me to turn towards him. A frown creased his brow, his shirt was hanging open, his hair was a mess as if he had run his fingers through it repeatedly, and the distinct smell of alcohol was

looked away, not wanting him to see

“What happened?”

but it was missing the coldness it usually held, almost sounding

whispered, trying to pull free from his hold, but he refused

storm?” He

the sob that

instantly pulled me closer, sitting back on the ground with me straddling him. My

he was comforting, but the emotions and concern that seemed to be in his eyes and touch… Maybe it was the alcohol in his system, but I didn’t care, I needed something to keep me tethered from drowning in my pain, and he was here for me. He rubbed my

“Talk to me, Yileyna.”

to him. I was tired of keeping it inside. But I couldn’t talk about them when they were

them.” I whispered, pulling back so I could look into those amber eyes that I

and he

“I know…”

don’t care if one of them or both are not

world.” I

had only triggered these

Instead, he reached up and cupped my neck, his thumbs

I felt like everything was being snatched from my grasp… I know you deserve to be Beta… But when it was taken away

to control these emotions. I was

quietly, looking up into his

I wasn’t sure, but I couldn’t keep it

say but he took a deep breath, looking at me sharply, and I knew he had changed his mind. “They were

never do this.” I said desperately. How can he say that? He knew my father!

frowned; his eyes sharp as he tilted my head up slightly. “You might

I know

didn’t reply, before

ok.” He said quietly, almost as if he was

“I will.”

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