53. Insecurity

YILEYNA

I awoke with a start, jolting upright in bed. I scanned the room frantically.

Alone.

I was alone.

My heart was pounding, and once again, the nightmare of the night my parents were killed was replaying in my mind. I ran my trembling hand through my hair, closing my eyes as the emotions that I tried to control hit me full force.

Focus Yileyna, it’s ok. It’s going to be ok…

No, it wasn’t ok… They died saving me and were marked as traitors. They were not traitors!

I had to prove their innocence! I had to…

Goddess…

I wrapped my arms around my legs, burying my head in my knees.

Focus.

Breathe…

What time was it? Where was Theon? Was he still not back?

‘They’re dead.’ Theon’s words from that night rang in my head, I felt the crushing agony in my chest break its restraint and hit me brutally. It was my fault. They died because of me.

I won’t cry.

I can’t.

But I was unable to stop the tears from streaming down my cheeks as I pressed a fist against my chest, trying to control the pain that threatened to drown me.

It was my fault. They died because I was out there… Dad came to protect me.

up, dropping onto my side. The memories of that night, the wolves… the bodies… the fire… they played before my eyes like a horror show

Stop. Stop, Yileyna…

Think of something else…

it possible? The

go away.

wanting him to see my tears, but he was stronger than me, taking hold of my arms and forcing me to turn towards him. A frown creased his brow, his shirt was hanging open, his hair was a mess as if he had run his fingers through it repeatedly, and the distinct smell of

looked away, not wanting him to see the

“What happened?”

but it was missing the coldness it

me like this. “Nothing. Nothing happened.” I whispered, trying to pull free from his hold, but he refused to let me go, pulling me upright and straight into his arms. My breath hitched, I fought to control my emotions as he held

He whispered, stroking

was unable to control the sob that

and he instantly pulled me closer, sitting back on the ground with me straddling him. My breasts were crushed against his chest, and his arms

be in his eyes and touch… Maybe it was the alcohol in his system, but I didn’t care, I needed something to keep me tethered from drowning in my pain, and he was here for me. He rubbed my back, sending sparks of pleasure through me, burying his head in my neck. We remained like that for a while, his scent and

“Talk to me, Yileyna.”

know we argued earlier, but I was ready to open up to him. I was tired of keeping it inside.

whispered, pulling back so I could look into

shadowed and he

“I know…”

I don’t care if one of them or

were my world.” I said

from earlier had only triggered these emotions within me, but I couldn’t

reached up and cupped my neck, his thumbs brushing away my tears, only for more to fall

my grasp… I know you deserve to be Beta… But when it was taken away from me, I

able to control these emotions. I was breaking and I needed

“I’m scared of losing everything I love…” I said quietly, looking up into his shimmering eyes. I’m scared of losing you. I love you. I didn’t need to say it because

wasn’t sure,

wasn’t sure what he was going to say but he took a deep breath, looking at me sharply, and I knew he had changed his mind. “They were traitors. Let

are not traitors. Something or someone did this. I knew my parents, they would never do this.” I said desperately. How can he say that? He knew

my head up slightly. “You might regret what you find out.” He

won’t, because I know they

met, and he didn’t reply, before clenching his

said quietly, almost as if he

“I will.”

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