53. Insecurity

YILEYNA

I awoke with a start, jolting upright in bed. I scanned the room frantically.

Alone.

I was alone.

My heart was pounding, and once again, the nightmare of the night my parents were killed was replaying in my mind. I ran my trembling hand through my hair, closing my eyes as the emotions that I tried to control hit me full force.

Focus Yileyna, it’s ok. It’s going to be ok…

No, it wasn’t ok… They died saving me and were marked as traitors. They were not traitors!

I had to prove their innocence! I had to…

Goddess…

I wrapped my arms around my legs, burying my head in my knees.

Focus.

Breathe…

What time was it? Where was Theon? Was he still not back?

‘They’re dead.’ Theon’s words from that night rang in my head, I felt the crushing agony in my chest break its restraint and hit me brutally. It was my fault. They died because of me.

I won’t cry.

I can’t.

But I was unable to stop the tears from streaming down my cheeks as I pressed a fist against my chest, trying to control the pain that threatened to drown me.

It was my fault. They died because I was out there… Dad came to protect me.

side. The memories of that night, the wolves… the bodies… the

Stop. Stop, Yileyna…

Think of something else…

I have these odd abilities? How was it possible? The daughter of

terrified me and I wanted it all to just go away. The bedroom door opened, and I quickly tried to cover my face, hoping Theon thought I was

to turn away, not wanting him to see my tears, but he was stronger than me, taking hold of my arms and forcing me to turn towards him. A frown creased his brow, his shirt was hanging open, his hair was a mess as if he had run his fingers through it repeatedly, and the

see the tears that were streaming down my

“What happened?”

voice was husky and low, but it was missing the coldness it usually held, almost

whispered, trying to pull free from his hold, but he refused to let me go, pulling me upright and straight into his arms. My breath hitched,

storm?” He whispered,

the sob that

neck and he instantly pulled me closer, sitting back on the

alcohol in his system, but I didn’t care, I needed something to keep me tethered from drowning in my pain, and he was here for me. He rubbed my back, sending sparks of

“Talk to me, Yileyna.”

was tired of keeping it inside. But I couldn’t

I whispered, pulling back so I could look into those amber eyes that I loved so

eyes shadowed and he looked

“I know…”

them or both

world.”

only triggered these

nodded, but didn’t say anything. Instead, he reached up and cupped my neck, his thumbs brushing away my tears, only

Then I felt like everything was being snatched from my grasp… I know you deserve to be Beta… But when it was taken away from me, I felt like the last part of Mom and Dad I had was

feeling so vulnerable, but I wasn’t able to control these emotions. I was breaking and I

of my memories twisting within me. “I’m scared of losing everything I love…” I said quietly, looking up into his shimmering eyes. I’m scared of losing you. I love you. I didn’t need to say it because I knew he

push him away by acting so vulnerable and needy? I wasn’t sure, but I couldn’t keep it inside of me any longer. It

but he took a deep breath, looking at me sharply, and I knew

traitors. Something or someone did this. I knew my parents, they would never do this.” I said desperately. How can he say that? He knew my father!

eyes sharp as he tilted my head up slightly. “You might regret what you find out.” He said

because I know they

eyes met, and he didn’t reply, before clenching his

Yileyna… Even when the world turns its back on you, I know you’ll be ok.” He said quietly, almost as if he was speaking to himself over

“I will.”

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