53. Insecurity

YILEYNA

I awoke with a start, jolting upright in bed. I scanned the room frantically.

Alone.

I was alone.

My heart was pounding, and once again, the nightmare of the night my parents were killed was replaying in my mind. I ran my trembling hand through my hair, closing my eyes as the emotions that I tried to control hit me full force.

Focus Yileyna, it’s ok. It’s going to be ok…

No, it wasn’t ok… They died saving me and were marked as traitors. They were not traitors!

I had to prove their innocence! I had to…

Goddess…

I wrapped my arms around my legs, burying my head in my knees.

Focus.

Breathe…

What time was it? Where was Theon? Was he still not back?

‘They’re dead.’ Theon’s words from that night rang in my head, I felt the crushing agony in my chest break its restraint and hit me brutally. It was my fault. They died because of me.

I won’t cry.

I can’t.

But I was unable to stop the tears from streaming down my cheeks as I pressed a fist against my chest, trying to control the pain that threatened to drown me.

It was my fault. They died because I was out there… Dad came to protect me.

and I curled up, dropping onto my side. The memories of that

Stop. Stop, Yileyna…

Think of something else…

I have these odd abilities? How was it

go away. The bedroom door opened, and I quickly tried to cover my face, hoping Theon

tried to turn away, not wanting him to see my tears, but he was stronger than me, taking hold of my arms and forcing me to turn towards him. A frown creased his brow, his shirt was hanging open, his hair was a mess as if he had run his fingers through it repeatedly,

not wanting him to see the tears that were streaming down my

“What happened?”

but it was missing the coldness it usually

whispered, trying to pull free from his hold, but he refused to let me go, pulling me upright and straight into his arms. My breath hitched, I fought to control my emotions

storm?” He whispered,

the sob

I did, I would lose all control of my emotions. I locked my arms around his neck and he instantly pulled me closer, sitting back on the ground with me straddling him.

something to keep me tethered from drowning in my pain,

“Talk to me, Yileyna.”

I was ready to open up to him. I was tired of

could

eyes shadowed and he looked

“I know…”

I don’t care if one of them or both are not my blood, they are

were my world.”

from earlier had only triggered

neck, his thumbs brushing away my tears, only for more to fall

lost them… Then I felt like everything was being snatched from my grasp… I know you deserve to be Beta… But when it was taken away from me, I felt like the last part of Mom and Dad I had

but I wasn’t able to control

twisting within me. “I’m scared of losing everything I love…” I said quietly, looking up into his shimmering eyes.

away by acting so vulnerable and needy? I wasn’t sure, but I couldn’t keep it inside of me any longer. It hurt so

took a deep breath, looking at me sharply,

were framed. My parents are not traitors. Something or someone did this. I knew my parents, they would never do this.” I

my head up slightly. “You might regret what

I won’t, because I

didn’t reply, before

be ok.” He said quietly, almost as if he was speaking to himself over me. It confused me but I

“I will.”

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