53. Insecurity
YILEYNA
I awoke with a start, jolting upright in bed. I scanned the room frantically.
Alone.
I was alone.
My heart was pounding, and once again, the nightmare of the night my parents were killed was replaying in my mind. I ran my trembling hand through my hair, closing my eyes as the emotions that I tried to control hit me full force.
Focus Yileyna, it’s ok. It’s going to be ok…
No, it wasn’t ok… They died saving me and were marked as traitors. They were not traitors!
I had to prove their innocence! I had to…
Goddess…
I wrapped my arms around my legs, burying my head in my knees.
Focus.
Breathe…
What time was it? Where was Theon? Was he still not back?
‘They’re dead.’ Theon’s words from that night rang in my head, I felt the crushing agony in my chest break its restraint and hit me brutally. It was my fault. They died because of me.
I won’t cry.
I can’t.
But I was unable to stop the tears from streaming down my cheeks as I pressed a fist against my chest, trying to control the pain that threatened to drown me.
It was my fault. They died because I was out there… Dad came to protect me.
strangled sob left my lips, and I curled up, dropping onto my side. The memories of that
Stop. Stop, Yileyna…
Think of something else…
did I have these odd abilities? How was it possible?
wanted it all to just go away. The bedroom door opened, and I
tears, but he was stronger than me, taking hold of my arms and forcing me to turn towards him. A frown creased his brow, his shirt was
see the tears that
“What happened?”
was husky and low, but it was missing the coldness
me like this. “Nothing. Nothing happened.” I whispered, trying to pull free from his hold, but he refused to let me go, pulling me
He whispered, stroking my
the sob that
of my emotions. I locked my arms around his neck and he instantly pulled me closer, sitting back on the
be in his eyes and touch… Maybe it was the alcohol in his system, but I didn’t care, I needed something to keep me tethered from drowning in my pain, and he was here
“Talk to me, Yileyna.”
up to him. I was tired of keeping it inside. But I couldn’t
whispered, pulling back so I could look into those amber eyes that
and he
“I know…”
don’t care… I don’t care if one of them or both are not my
were my world.”
revelation from earlier had only triggered these emotions within me, but I couldn’t stop
he reached up and cupped my neck, his thumbs brushing away my tears, only for
grasp… I know you deserve to be Beta… But when it was taken away from me, I felt like the last part of Mom and Dad I had was
vulnerable, but I wasn’t able to control these emotions. I was breaking and I needed
gripped his wrists, the pain of my memories twisting within me. “I’m scared of losing everything I love…” I said quietly, looking up into his shimmering eyes. I’m scared of
him away by acting so vulnerable and needy? I wasn’t sure, but
to say but he took a deep breath, looking at me sharply, and I knew he had changed his mind. “They were traitors. Let the pain go.” I shook
framed. My parents are not traitors. Something or someone did this. I knew my parents, they would never do this.” I said desperately. How can he say that? He knew my father!
as he tilted my head up slightly. “You might regret what
because I
met, and he didn’t reply, before
I know you’ll be ok.” He said quietly, almost as if he was speaking to himself
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Ffru6IaSXvKs31rLhu6HEU3tax2HLYS+6B/lGFWysCuCXiWlbRA7VEFgh5PF6c0HOGdT7clT1Blhk6klfKQopHxi2aY6N8aIrf9H5oOhZBNTkV6JU+4zuZwYdjz+HMuI28dH9qmfeH21AaEfsxi0nDuz04nYkLubz8AGf3rKWQyXEbvX98+TimJyqXIjF3gK5CSxcNoT/sV8DSo837puo+gHux8Ra9XdX+SAr6PCq4T5QFDjVWXy21iXDsGgKrgbu1G25+k=
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