I blasted through my workout, not going too heavy since I was on my own, but I took all of my muscles to complete failure. I have to start pushing myself now. I need to be better, stronger. I have a year to get ready.

I got home around 6:30 and went straight to the kitchen to fuel back up. I didn't have more than my protein shake before my workout, which was a mistake. I am starving and my grumbling stomach is agreeing with me. If I don't eat, I'm going to be sore in the morning.

"Where have you been? We eat dinner at six.” A growl comes from the table making me jump and turn around gripping the edge of the counter.

"Oh, sh*t!" I really wish people would stop that.

at the kitchen table, plates half empty. They never eat in here. Mateo is looking at me, but his face is blank, like he’s trying to hide his

with them unless we had

to his plate now. He can't even look at me when he’s giving me directions. My

has to be Mateo's doing after what I told him last night. I asked him not to try and fix things. I may want my dad to want me, but not by force. I can see in his

with you before and I

I have to not turn around and rip him a

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