My Secret, My Bully, My Mates

As if my body knew I needed to get up and away from the guys for a bit. I woke up before dawn and slipped out of bed. I turned to look at them before I left and like always when they are sleeping, they actually look young and at peace. Each tangled up under their own sheet, chest bare, leaving the big fluffy comforter for me. They are both so handsome, it's kind of ridiculous. And they have been giving me my space while staying close. It's a start I guess.

I should talk to them about that night and figure out what they were actually thinking, but it still hurts too bad knowing they took her side over listening to reason and having the evidence shoved up their nose. I'm not ready, I'm still angry, no matter how much they draw me in, I am just still angry and for the first time in my life I am making sure people know when they hurt me. I'm not just going to brush it under the rug and take it. They need to realize that they can't shield me from a fight literally coming for me. They can't force me to do anything and there is something very powerful in that knowledge. So I strode down the stairs and into the room I share with Lil to find her already dressed and waiting.

"I wasn't sure how early you wanted to train and I figured with the other half of our girls band occupied with their mates you would go alone, and I couldn't have that. That is the one thing I agree on with these guys." She laughs at me.

"Did you check the door before you came in?" I ask gathering things to change.

"Of course I did. I'm done being cursed, but that seems to be an occupational hazard being teamed up with you. Did you check it?"

"No actually. I could smell your scent all over the door so I knew I didn't have to." I winked at her. She stuck her tongue out at me and I just rolled my eyes and changed. There's no use taking a shower, we are just going to get disgusting.

We ran downstairs and grabbed quick protein bars from the kitchen. I don't know why I just really wanted to get out of the house before any of the guys figured out we left. There is something so satisfying about that thought. We jogged over to the training grounds. There is a small group of warriors training. A few waved, but most just let us pass and do our thing. The wreckage of the obstacle course is still there. There's no need to waste energy on it right now with the pups and teens gone. The pack is actually so quiet right now without all the hustle and bustle of life everywhere. I hope they're all okay, I miss the pups the most. That was a huge motivation for getting back home eventually and now they aren't even here.

at all, just got to their own training. Mateo, Jena, Sierra and Sam are still notably absent this morning, but I don't blame them. We are about to be attacked and they just found

we were walking back to the packhouse, the guys actually didn't bring the truck for once, we were stopped by Ava and Brett. I haven't seen her since the ceremony yesterday. I know she was mingling with

hugs me. "My sweet girl,

good mom, how are you doing?"

with the Moon Goddess. I feel like a weight is lifted, but it still hurts." She absently rubs her mark on her neck, which I'm just now noticing

dies? You start to lose all traces of their connection to you. That sounds awful. I lean in to hug her again. I

once, so I know this is something she wants to share with just her and the boys. I head on towards the kitchen with Lil. Brett and Oliver are following. I think this is the first time Brett has left her side since Lucas passed.

their s*xual innuendo banter, but at least I

of my cheeks, which of course makes it