Once Upon Series

“No, sweetheart, that’s not what I’m saying. I am telling you that I was not a perfect mother. Katie, I have made thousands of mistakes, literally, and continue to do so. You don’t know how many times I have cried until my head ached or prayed that my son would thrive with the worst mother alive. I’m saying that if you choose to keep this baby, you will feel these same feelings and more. I am saying that even though it will be the hardest thing you may ever do, it’s worth it. I wouldn’t go back and change a thing. I love being a mother, and I think you would be an incredible mother. You just need to decide if that is what is right for you, at this point in your life. But no matter what you choose, I know that you have two young men in there that will support you one hundred percent. Not every young mother has that.”

Katie wiped at her eyes. “I worry that I’m ruining their lives. They shouldn’t have to take care of me.”

Mrs. A smiled, “I have seen so much growth out of both Liam and Cole. Don’t worry about them, Katie. If they didn’t want to be there, they wouldn’t. They love you, and so do I.”

“Thanks, Mrs. A,” Katie said softly. “I think I am going to go outside for a little bit.”

“Oh honey, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Katie nodded. “I know, I just need some air.”

Katie knew that Mrs. A was looking on with concern as she crossed the house and went into the backyard. After closing the sliding glass door, Katie blew out the breath she had been holding. Tears began to slip down her face, and she knew that she needed to get away from the house.

Mrs. A wasn’t the only one bringing up adoption. Her therapist Dr. Franklin had also been advocating for that choice, not to mention the school counselor. Much of what they said about adoption made sense to Katie.

Yes, the baby would likely have opportunities that she couldn’t give it. She was young, inexperienced, and until recently not very trustworthy.

Katie closed her eyes as she thought about the drinking and partying, and even sometimes drugs. Images flashed through her mind. Things that she wished she could unsee, or better yet undo.

When her parents were alive things were different. She had friends. She got good grades, and even managed to stay on the honor roll. But after their unexpected deaths, everything was too much. She felt too hard, needed a release from the pain that wouldn’t stop no matter how hard she tried.

That’s what started the drinking. She would slip downstairs while Liam was asleep and break into their parent’s liquor cabinet. It wasn’t like they were going to use it. At least that’s what she had told herself.

Then when Liam found out, she began to lie about it. He must have remembered wrong, she’d snap angrily. Then the waterworks came, followed by a screaming match and would eventually wear her out and she would promise never ever to get into it again.

But it did happen again, and again.

it was encouraged. If your drink was

a new escape. Her first time had been terrible, nothing that she wanted to repeat. But as she kept chasing numbness, it

belly. She had walked to the far corner of the back yard where Mrs. A’s fence met her own. Shame washed over her has she thought about how freely she had given her body to Cole the night before.

must think that she was a slut. Katie felt like her heart was breaking, but she wouldn’t fall back into those old habits, she couldn’t. Dr. Franklin had been teaching her other strategies, that’s what he called them. Tricks that she could

think that counting to ten could cut it. What hurt the most was that she wasn’t trying to escape with Cole. Katie

are you okay?”

she had conjured him up with her thoughts, Cole appeared by her side.

she wasn’t a pretty crier. Cole didn’t need

out a bunch of toilet paper. “Um, we didn’t

the laugh that

her elbow and Katie reluctantly

was how serious he looked. A moment of panic gripped her. Was he

night,” he began.

it’s not big deal,” she

of looking relieved, he looked confused.

“Yeah, don’t

he started

thing she wanted from Cole was pity. It would literally shatter her. She couldn’t take

want it

looked pained. “I don’t

just not talk about it?” she

deal to her. He meant everything to her. As much as she wanted to say this and so

felt a sharp thump on her belly.

is it?” Cole exclaimed. “Are you alright?”

her belly.