Pregnant And Rejected

Chapter 161- Selene Gets a Letter

Selene

“Mommy, are you wake?” A little voice speaks in my ear.

Slowly I return to the waking world, blinking open my tired eyes and registering the warm little body snuggling up against me. “Hello little bean.” I murmur, wrapping my arms around Lila and pulling the covers more tightly around us.

Lila hasn’t slept through the night in her own room since Bastien left. Instead she’s taken to crawling into my bed somewhere between the hours of midnight and dawn, which both warms my heart and makes handling my morning sickness more difficult. Today the sun is just beginning to rise, and Helene’s soothing draughts have actually managed to ease the worst of my symptoms, so I’m happy to simply lie here and cuddle with my daughter until we’re ready to get up.

“Mommy, I had a dream ’bout Daddy.” Her morning puppy breath is terrible, so I tuck her head beneath my chin, earning myself a mouthful of her hair.

“You did?” I inquire, smoothing down her tangled locks, “was it a nice dream, hope?”

“Uh-huh.” She nods against my breast. “We were playing pony, an’da flying game.”

“That’s wonderful.” I breathe, honestly elated that she’s not having nightmares like I am. I hate that she misses him so much, but I’m glad her dreams are sweet memories rather than horrible possibilities. Ever since talking with Helene, my nights have been haunted with terrible images of Bastien hurt, imprisoned, or dead.

“Mommy, will Daddy be home soon?” Lila wonders aloud.

I’m fully awake now, with a large lump caught in my throat. “I don’t think so, sweetheart.” I admit.

She looks up at me in alarm, and I wonder if my honesty was a mistake. “Why not?”

things aren’t going so well. It might be some time before we see him again, Lila.” I

tears well in her eyes. “But I wan’him home!” “I know, angel.” I hush her gently, wiping the tears from her cheeks. “I do too.” “I’s not fair!” She

tears myself. “If I could bring him home for you this second, I would. Things just

accuses. “You pwomised he wouldn’be

admil. “Mommies don’t know everything sweetheart,

cries, pushing me away “you‘re never

testing her limits, but my heart doesn’t think with that kind of logic, my

earning a wail for my efforts. “I know I’ve been busy lately and we haven’t gotten to

grown ups have responsibilities sweetheart. I’m

She

anywhere.” I choke out the words. “That’s not how this works. You can be upset with me all you want, but I’m going to be here

and feet against the mattress while I sit next to her and try to push down my own feelings. It’s no use, within seconds I’m crying too, breaking into a sob and burying my face in my hands instead. I can only imagine the picture we make. If Bastien was here he’d walk in and fuss over us both, comforting me and helping Lila work through her feelings until we were ready to kiss and

not here, and it hits me all at once how much of a difference he’s made in our lives in such a short time. It used to be me and Lila against the world, but finding a mate and a father made us both realize what we’d been missing, and now it doesn’t feel like enough just being together. One day we might get there again, but right

Apparently she realized she wasn’t the only one having a meltdown, and is now determined to see my face. Sighing heavily I drop my hands and

explain forlornly, “I miss

lap without a moment of hesitation, wrapping herself around me.“ Is okay, Mommy.” She sniffles, “I make it better.” She presses sweet little kisses to my wet cheeks, and I

really am sorry, Lila.” I confide, when I can speak again. “I haven’t been giving you enough attention. Why don’t we do something special today, just

dat.” She

I exhale shakily, swiping at my cheeks. “Let’s make a deal okay. No more

Lila nods enthusiastically, “Deal.”

playing in the park, painting pottery and going to a movie with Lila, we’re both fairly exhausted. By the time we get back to the pack house Lila is passed out in her car seat, and I have to carry her all the way to the top floor