Chapter 5

Michelle

I hate walking into the classroom every morning. I’m the quiet girl, and when that door opens, I got all eyes on me.

The spotlight makes it harder to breathe. It’s making my skin crawl.

My heart beats faster, and even though there isn’t straight-up laughter or name-calling like in high school, the silence speaks louder than volumes.

I hate not having any friends.

I hate not having any new clothes.

I hate not being normal.

I hate not being… Happy.

I’m lonely, and it makes me feel vulnerable. Thomas definitely used that to his advantage when he…

When he…

Raped me.

Tears prickle behind my eyes.

I think I’m suffering from PTSD. Sometimes I experience flashes of Thomas’s face and how he pushed me against that wall at the party. It makes me want to scream.

But I refuse to cry.

Don’t ever look back. I keep my eyes down not to meet any of the sneers in the classroom.

Stay strong.

Breathe.

Sadly, I can’t ignore the whispers. The popular girls are already at it, talking about me while throwing me dirty stares.

“Oh, look, it’s the ugly duckling.”

I’m the ugly duckling.

“Does she ever change her clothes?”

No, I have no money or parents to pay for new ones.

“Aren’t her parents like… Alcoholists?”

They are.

“I heard they threw her out.”

I left.

“She lives in an apartment together with Ciara and Zendra.”

Because I can’t pay an entire rent on my own.

“It must be hard for them to live with a weirdo. Michelle rarely speaks, and when she does… It’s like a stammer.”

been stammering ever

It sucks.

to walk quickly. I

my way and whisper, “I actually feel bad for the ugly little duckling, though. She

I try to

“Did you sleep well?”

into

here? He pulls out the chair next to mine and sits

why Maddox is sitting with me. We are project partners, but this

Maddox cracks his

Maddox and… What the hell? Those mean girls

blurt out

those girls jealous of me or something? I hope they are. Wait. Am I terrible for

Probably.

just that they were so mean to me, and revenge

breathes a laugh. “Ah, great, you’re having those conversations with yourself inside your head

at him, and he sighs. “Anyway, you’re cool with taking notes for me today,

Wait.

What?

widen my eyes when Maddox tries to give me what must be his attempt at a charming smile, but he

Or a hyena…

my eyes.

over the table to rest on them. “I woke up at five to run to the gym, and then

“N-not my problem…”

eyes. “Did you…

manage a shrug. “You’re angry at me when

you? I bet you have top grades

do have

reason, I’m embarrassed about Maddox pushing forward that I’m a nerd. It’s

blame

it will help me build a brighter future. Since most of my life has

be way better than mine. Send them to me after our class

like

eyes are closed, but his lips form

then speeds up again. I should fear Maddox. He

experience flutters seeing

is wrong

“Poke me if the teacher comes over to

I wet my lips and whisper-yell. “You would bite my head off if

“I don’t bite.”

here now. He is talking loudly in his

and you

to shut up

made!

Wow.

just show Maddox’s

pounding. It might seem like a tiny thing for

bewildered. “Did you just call me an asshole without peeing

Oh, shit!

angry

continue

heart is pounding too fast already; I don’t need

But…

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