Chapter 5

Michelle

I hate walking into the classroom every morning. I’m the quiet girl, and when that door opens, I got all eyes on me.

The spotlight makes it harder to breathe. It’s making my skin crawl.

My heart beats faster, and even though there isn’t straight-up laughter or name-calling like in high school, the silence speaks louder than volumes.

I hate not having any friends.

I hate not having any new clothes.

I hate not being normal.

I hate not being… Happy.

I’m lonely, and it makes me feel vulnerable. Thomas definitely used that to his advantage when he…

When he…

Raped me.

Tears prickle behind my eyes.

I think I’m suffering from PTSD. Sometimes I experience flashes of Thomas’s face and how he pushed me against that wall at the party. It makes me want to scream.

But I refuse to cry.

Don’t ever look back. I keep my eyes down not to meet any of the sneers in the classroom.

Stay strong.

Breathe.

Sadly, I can’t ignore the whispers. The popular girls are already at it, talking about me while throwing me dirty stares.

“Oh, look, it’s the ugly duckling.”

I’m the ugly duckling.

“Does she ever change her clothes?”

No, I have no money or parents to pay for new ones.

“Aren’t her parents like… Alcoholists?”

They are.

“I heard they threw her out.”

I left.

“She lives in an apartment together with Ciara and Zendra.”

Because I can’t pay an entire rent on my own.

“It must be hard for them to live with a weirdo. Michelle rarely speaks, and when she does… It’s like a stammer.”

been stammering ever since the

It sucks.

and try to walk quickly. I sit down in the back of the

pouts my way and whisper, “I actually feel bad for the ugly little duckling, though. She is so weird and awkward that

but I try to keep my

“Did you sleep well?”

into

here? He pulls out the chair next to mine and sits down with a

low voice, unsure why Maddox is sitting with me. We are project

Maddox cracks his shoulders.

Maddox and… What the hell? Those mean girls from earlier? They are staring at

blurt

girls jealous of me or something? I hope they

Probably.

just that they were so mean to me,

great, you’re having

he sighs. “Anyway, you’re cool with taking notes for me

Wait.

What?

his attempt at a charming smile, but he looks more like

Or a hyena…

to roll my eyes. “So that’s why

questions and crosses his arms over the table to rest on them. “I woke up at five to run to the

“N-not my problem…”

eyes. “Did you…

angry at me

you? I bet you have top grades in each one of

I-I do have

I’m embarrassed about Maddox pushing forward that I’m a nerd. It’s true

anyone blame me

to me; it will help me build a brighter future. Since most of my life has been

will be way better than mine. Send them to

do I feel like I’ve just

eyes are closed, but his lips form

should fear Maddox. He is a jerk, and he is massive—a dangerous

flutters

wrong with

Maddox mumbles. “Poke me if the

I wet my lips and whisper-yell. “You would bite my head off if I tried to

“I don’t bite.”

He is talking loudly in his microphone, yet I

a lie, and you know

to shut up at

made! You’re

Wow.

just

Christ, my heart is pounding. It might seem like a tiny thing for anyone else, but holy shit—I’m

“Did you just call

Oh, shit!

angry at

my screen since I better not continue this

fast already; I don’t need more

But…

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