Michelle
I hate walking into the classroom every morning. I’m the quiet girl, and when that door opens, I got all eyes on me.
The spotlight makes it harder to breathe. It’s making my skin crawl.
My heart beats faster, and even though there isn’t straight-up laughter or name-calling like in high school, the silence speaks louder than volumes.
I hate not having any friends.
I hate not having any new clothes.
I hate not being normal.
I hate not being… Happy.
I’m lonely, and it makes me feel vulnerable. Thomas definitely used that to his advantage when he…
When he…
Raped me.
Tears prickle behind my eyes.
I think I’m suffering from PTSD. Sometimes I experience flashes of Thomas’s face and how he pushed me against that wall at the party. It makes me want to scream.
But I refuse to cry.
Don’t ever look back. I keep my eyes down not to meet any of the sneers in the classroom.
Stay strong.
Breathe.
Sadly, I can’t ignore the whispers. The popular girls are already at it, talking about me while throwing me dirty stares.
“Oh, look, it’s the ugly duckling.”
I’m the ugly duckling.
“Does she ever change her clothes?”
No, I have no money or parents to pay for new ones.
“Aren’t her parents like… Alcoholists?”
They are.
“I heard they threw her out.”
I left.
“She lives in an apartment together with Ciara and Zendra.”
Because I can’t pay an entire rent on my own.
“It must be hard for them to live with a weirdo. Michelle rarely speaks, and when she does… It’s like a stammer.”
ever since the
It sucks.
and try to walk quickly. I sit down in
the ugly little duckling, though. She is so weird and awkward that no one wants to be
but I try
“Did you sleep well?”
into my
doing here? He pulls out the chair next to mine
unsure why Maddox is sitting with me. We are project partners,
Maddox cracks his shoulders. “I slept
hell? Those
almost blurt out
or something? I hope they are. Wait. Am I terrible
Probably.
just that they were so mean to me,
laugh. “Ah, great, you’re having those conversations with yourself inside
sighs. “Anyway, you’re cool with taking
Wait.
What?
be his
Or a hyena…
urge to roll my eyes. “So that’s why you’re sitting
crosses his arms over the table to rest on them. “I woke up at
“N-not my problem…”
eyes. “Did you… Did
angry at me when you’re the
quickly recovers. “Well, you’re a nerd, aren’t you? I
have top
I’m embarrassed about Maddox pushing forward that I’m a nerd. It’s true that I only think of
anyone blame me for working
a brighter
way better than mine. Send them
feel like I’ve just
are closed, but his lips form a
then speeds up again. I should fear Maddox. He is a jerk, and he is
flutters
wrong with
take a nap,” Maddox mumbles. “Poke me if the teacher
lips and whisper-yell. “You would bite
“I don’t bite.”
is here now. He is talking loudly in his microphone,
and
Maddox’s eyes cracks open. “Are you going to shut up at
point made! You’re
Wow.
just show Maddox’s
It might seem like a tiny thing for anyone else, but holy shit—I’m a
you just call me an asshole without peeing
Oh, shit!
angry at
since I better not continue this conversation with Maddox if I wish to
pounding too fast already; I don’t need more reasons for
But…
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