Chapter 5

Michelle

I hate walking into the classroom every morning. I’m the quiet girl, and when that door opens, I got all eyes on me.

The spotlight makes it harder to breathe. It’s making my skin crawl.

My heart beats faster, and even though there isn’t straight-up laughter or name-calling like in high school, the silence speaks louder than volumes.

I hate not having any friends.

I hate not having any new clothes.

I hate not being normal.

I hate not being… Happy.

I’m lonely, and it makes me feel vulnerable. Thomas definitely used that to his advantage when he…

When he…

Raped me.

Tears prickle behind my eyes.

I think I’m suffering from PTSD. Sometimes I experience flashes of Thomas’s face and how he pushed me against that wall at the party. It makes me want to scream.

But I refuse to cry.

Don’t ever look back. I keep my eyes down not to meet any of the sneers in the classroom.

Stay strong.

Breathe.

Sadly, I can’t ignore the whispers. The popular girls are already at it, talking about me while throwing me dirty stares.

“Oh, look, it’s the ugly duckling.”

I’m the ugly duckling.

“Does she ever change her clothes?”

No, I have no money or parents to pay for new ones.

“Aren’t her parents like… Alcoholists?”

They are.

“I heard they threw her out.”

I left.

“She lives in an apartment together with Ciara and Zendra.”

Because I can’t pay an entire rent on my own.

“It must be hard for them to live with a weirdo. Michelle rarely speaks, and when she does… It’s like a stammer.”

ever since the

It sucks.

and try to walk quickly. I

little duckling, though. She is so weird and awkward that no one wants to

hurt, but I try to keep

“Did you sleep well?”

seeps into my

face Maddox. What is he doing here? He pulls out the chair

a low voice, unsure why Maddox is sitting with me. We are project partners, but this is

cracks his

Those mean girls

blurt out

of me or something? I hope they are.

Probably.

it’s just that they were so mean

breathes a laugh. “Ah, great, you’re having those conversations with yourself

sighs. “Anyway, you’re cool with taking

Wait.

What?

must be his attempt at

Or a hyena…

repress the urge to roll my eyes. “So that’s why

table to rest on them. “I woke up at five to

“N-not my problem…”

“Did you… Did you

yet I manage a shrug. “You’re angry at me when you’re the one who

you? I bet you have top

I-I do have top

embarrassed about Maddox pushing forward that I’m a nerd. It’s true that I

blame me for

me build a brighter future. Since most of my life has

than mine. Send them

feel like I’ve just become your

are closed, but his lips form a smile.

fear Maddox. He is a jerk, and he is massive—a

flutters seeing that

wrong with

Maddox mumbles. “Poke me if the teacher

whisper-yell. “You would bite my head off if I tried

“I don’t bite.”

here now. He is talking loudly in his microphone,

and you know

eyes cracks open. “Are you going to shut up at some point?

made! You’re

Wow.

I just show Maddox’s

pounding. It might seem like a

eyes narrow, and his expression is bewildered. “Did you

Oh, shit!

angry at

since I better not continue this conversation with Maddox if I wish to

already; I don’t need

But…

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