Chapter 5

Michelle

I hate walking into the classroom every morning. I’m the quiet girl, and when that door opens, I got all eyes on me.

The spotlight makes it harder to breathe. It’s making my skin crawl.

My heart beats faster, and even though there isn’t straight-up laughter or name-calling like in high school, the silence speaks louder than volumes.

I hate not having any friends.

I hate not having any new clothes.

I hate not being normal.

I hate not being… Happy.

I’m lonely, and it makes me feel vulnerable. Thomas definitely used that to his advantage when he…

When he…

Raped me.

Tears prickle behind my eyes.

I think I’m suffering from PTSD. Sometimes I experience flashes of Thomas’s face and how he pushed me against that wall at the party. It makes me want to scream.

But I refuse to cry.

Don’t ever look back. I keep my eyes down not to meet any of the sneers in the classroom.

Stay strong.

Breathe.

Sadly, I can’t ignore the whispers. The popular girls are already at it, talking about me while throwing me dirty stares.

“Oh, look, it’s the ugly duckling.”

I’m the ugly duckling.

“Does she ever change her clothes?”

No, I have no money or parents to pay for new ones.

“Aren’t her parents like… Alcoholists?”

They are.

“I heard they threw her out.”

I left.

“She lives in an apartment together with Ciara and Zendra.”

Because I can’t pay an entire rent on my own.

“It must be hard for them to live with a weirdo. Michelle rarely speaks, and when she does… It’s like a stammer.”

ever since

It sucks.

to walk quickly. I sit down in the

ugly little duckling, though. She

words hurt, but I try to keep

“Did you sleep well?”

into my

he doing here? He pulls out the chair next to mine and sits down with a tired

me. We are project partners, but this

for you…” Maddox cracks his shoulders. “I slept

glance at Maddox and… What the hell? Those mean girls from earlier? They are staring

blurt

hope they are. Wait. Am I terrible for

Probably.

that they were so mean to me,

breathes a laugh. “Ah, great, you’re having those conversations with yourself inside

“Anyway, you’re cool with taking notes for me today,

Wait.

What?

when Maddox tries to give me what must be his attempt at a charming smile, but he looks more like a grinning

Or a hyena…

urge to roll my eyes.

them. “I woke up at five to run to the gym, and then I worked out until every

“N-not my problem…”

his eyes. “Did you…

pounding, yet I manage a shrug. “You’re angry

nerd, aren’t you? I bet you have

I-I do have top

embarrassed about Maddox pushing forward that I’m a nerd. It’s true that I

can anyone blame

a brighter future. Since most of my

than mine. Send them to me

feel like I’ve just become

are closed, but his lips form a smile. “Thanks,

Maddox. He is a jerk, and he is massive—a dangerous

I experience flutters

wrong

nap,” Maddox mumbles. “Poke me

would bite my head off if I

“I don’t bite.”

is here now. He is talking loudly in his microphone, yet I

lie, and you

eyes cracks open. “Are you going to shut up

point made! You’re an

Wow.

just show Maddox’s

might seem like a tiny thing for anyone else, but holy shit—I’m a

and his expression is bewildered. “Did you just

Oh, shit!

he angry at

to my screen since I better not continue this conversation with Maddox

is pounding too fast already; I don’t need more reasons

But…

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