Chapter 37 Michelle

I barely know what is going on. My brain feels numb, and although things are happening, I’m too heavily medicated to understand what is going on around me. I remember being rushed to the hospital There was an ambulance, and then Maddox arguing with a doctor

Maddox yelled, “No, I’m not her husband, but I’m still the father of the unborn babies. I’m coming with you.” Yes, it’s coming back in bits and pieces…

Driving

Medication

A doctor asked me questions…

Oh!

My water broke, and there was something about one twin not growing normally inside me. I cried when the doctor said one of the babies had a higher survival rate than the other.

That’s it.

The rest is blurry. I wasn’t open enough and needed a c-section; now, I’m on painkillers. Right at this moment, the doctors are performing an emergency c-section, I think? Gosh, I should be sleeping, but I’m like half-awake. I hear monitors beeping and people talling. A smile fills my vision, the person is wearing a mask, but I see their eyes crinkling.

Definitely a smile. I decide that I like this person. Her voice is soothing when she speaks to me too. “Everything is going to be okay.” Somehow, I doubt her words, but I can’t respond. Everything turns into total darkness seconds later.

It’s like sleeping, but deeper, like I’m falling into a deep, deep hole from which my body tries climbing up but repeatedly fails. I sound crazy, but I can’t find a better way to describe it.

some sort of vacuum. Pictures

sun until Stephanie appears. Maddox releases my hand, then skitters off into the

Terrible drearn.

I’m dizzy and staring into a pair of blue eyes

hospital bed. I try to

a

this what dying

though

both make

NICU immediately, but don’t worry,” he squeezes

turns dark again. I’m in inner turmoil, and many questions are on

feels like I’ve been run over by

up the second time. Maddox is scrolling on his phone but

“Michelle?” He tries.

like into my eyes. My voice doesn’t sound like my own. It’s dry and hoarse. “I

body has been through hell.

him. “Or I won’t

Hang in there.” I smile at him, for real this time. “I will.” Minutes

like I’m being lectured by a mom, but I like her strictness and the fact that she seems to give a rat’s shit about her job. She also

the boys, I’m told I can’t hug or be with them right now. Something about their lungs not being ready. The news makes me cry because not

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