Chapter 37 Michelle

I barely know what is going on. My brain feels numb, and although things are happening, I’m too heavily medicated to understand what is going on around me. I remember being rushed to the hospital There was an ambulance, and then Maddox arguing with a doctor

Maddox yelled, “No, I’m not her husband, but I’m still the father of the unborn babies. I’m coming with you.” Yes, it’s coming back in bits and pieces…

Driving

Medication

A doctor asked me questions…

Oh!

My water broke, and there was something about one twin not growing normally inside me. I cried when the doctor said one of the babies had a higher survival rate than the other.

That’s it.

The rest is blurry. I wasn’t open enough and needed a c-section; now, I’m on painkillers. Right at this moment, the doctors are performing an emergency c-section, I think? Gosh, I should be sleeping, but I’m like half-awake. I hear monitors beeping and people talling. A smile fills my vision, the person is wearing a mask, but I see their eyes crinkling.

Definitely a smile. I decide that I like this person. Her voice is soothing when she speaks to me too. “Everything is going to be okay.” Somehow, I doubt her words, but I can’t respond. Everything turns into total darkness seconds later.

It’s like sleeping, but deeper, like I’m falling into a deep, deep hole from which my body tries climbing up but repeatedly fails. I sound crazy, but I can’t find a better way to describe it.

of vacuum. Pictures are coming to

smiling, enjoying the sun until Stephanie appears.

Terrible drearn.

of blue eyes —

me. He is sitting on a chair right in front of my hospital bed. I try to sit up but can’t move a single muscle in

a

this what

I manage words even though

both

taken into the NICU immediately, but don’t worry,” he squeezes my hand. “Everything will be alright.

happen?! Everything turns dark again. I’m in inner turmoil, and many questions

run over by a truck yet somehow miraculously

the second time. Maddox is scrolling on his

“Michelle?” He tries.

I blink like into my eyes. My voice doesn’t sound like my own. It’s dry and hoarse. “I feel terrible… Like I’ve been without water for days…. Everything

has been through hell. It

and humor him. “Or I won’t recover, and

know you’re going to be just fine. Hang in there.” I smile at him, for real this time. “I will.” Minutes later, I’m speaking to a midwife. She informs me how to look after my wound. Cleaning is essential, and

seems to give a rat’s shit about her

can’t hug or be with them right now. Something about their lungs not being ready. The news

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