Chapter 37 Michelle

I barely know what is going on. My brain feels numb, and although things are happening, I’m too heavily medicated to understand what is going on around me. I remember being rushed to the hospital There was an ambulance, and then Maddox arguing with a doctor

Maddox yelled, “No, I’m not her husband, but I’m still the father of the unborn babies. I’m coming with you.” Yes, it’s coming back in bits and pieces…

Driving

Medication

A doctor asked me questions…

Oh!

My water broke, and there was something about one twin not growing normally inside me. I cried when the doctor said one of the babies had a higher survival rate than the other.

That’s it.

The rest is blurry. I wasn’t open enough and needed a c-section; now, I’m on painkillers. Right at this moment, the doctors are performing an emergency c-section, I think? Gosh, I should be sleeping, but I’m like half-awake. I hear monitors beeping and people talling. A smile fills my vision, the person is wearing a mask, but I see their eyes crinkling.

Definitely a smile. I decide that I like this person. Her voice is soothing when she speaks to me too. “Everything is going to be okay.” Somehow, I doubt her words, but I can’t respond. Everything turns into total darkness seconds later.

It’s like sleeping, but deeper, like I’m falling into a deep, deep hole from which my body tries climbing up but repeatedly fails. I sound crazy, but I can’t find a better way to describe it.

of vacuum. Pictures are

smiling, enjoying the sun until Stephanie appears. Maddox releases my hand, then skitters off into the sunset with

Terrible drearn.

blue eyes — Maddox

my hospital bed. I try to sit up but can’t move a single muscle in my body. God,

a terrible

what

I manage words even though my lips

they both make

smile falters, and there is a sigh. “They had to be taken into the NICU immediately, but don’t worry,”

again. I’m in inner turmoil, and many questions

been run over by a truck

and the room is bright when I wake up the second time. Maddox is scrolling on his phone but puts

“Michelle?” He tries.

my own. It’s dry and hoarse. “I feel terrible…

been through hell.

force a smile and humor him. “Or I won’t recover, and you will have to plan

time. “I will.” Minutes later, I’m speaking to a midwife. She informs me how to look

but I like her strictness and the fact that she seems to give a rat’s shit about her job. She also tells me we can go home in a

ready. The news makes me cry because not being with my baby boys hurts

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