Chapter 39
Maddox
A few weeks later I’ve been so lonely lately that I don’t know what to do with myself or how to stop the emotion from choking me alive
Michelle dropped out of college. She is at home with the twins-Isaac and Gabriel –and she is doing a hell of a job.
But sometimes, when I come home from practice or one of my games, I can’t help but feel left out.
Carefully, I stroll into the living room.
Michelle is feeding Isacc right now, smiling happily. “You’re such a sweet little guy. All googly
-eyed and cute.”
A smile tugs on my lips. I fed the twins earlier, yet the joy of seeing them eat never stops. I love them so much.
“They sure are charming,” I say. “Dangerously so.” Michelle smiles brighter without looking at me. “Like their father…”
“You think I’m charmin
III
“Very.”
The compliment makes my chest swell. I scratch the back of my head, pulling my lips into my mouth. “Hey, listen, do you want to watch a movie later when the twins are sleeping and” 1
“No, I better fall asleep in the living room,” Michelle interrupts. “I have to sleep when they sleep. Or else I get no rest.”
“I know, but I thought you could sleep on top of me while we watch something…” I really want to cuddle.
“Maybe tomorrow?”
Disappointment fills my chest like lead. “Okay.”
family? It might sound silly, but it feels like Michelle spends so much time with the
and she laughs. She is a fantastic
lot has happened lately. Michelle is busy, but I must admit that this gets me; this is what cuts
It hurts.
don’t expect sex since
but affection is essential.
wish she would just, I don’t know… Hug me. Put her
I
I will wait for her to come back
***
A few months later
to the VIP section while the crowd cheers. My teammates are bumping into
but that doesn’t stop me from forcing a smile onto
“Good game, man.”
I say. “It was
you always
Robin, who was recruited to the same team as
sure came
we recruited
appreciated on this team. The compliments are plenty, and everything should be perfect. I play
the VIP seats are
My shoulders sag.
the twins, and I shouldn’t expect her to bring our babies to a game. Yet I can’t stop that darkness within
to when I go to bed, I feel like I’m slipping
even care about
now when I play in the goddamn NFL, and my mom is nowhere to be
room, shower, and pick up my phone while Robin whistles
out with us tonight?” Robin asks, probably only to be polite since I’ve said
I wake up to run, practice and play football, and most evenings, I head to the gym. I don’t drink or eat junk food, yet I still don’t have the
think
talking, staring
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