Chapter 39

Maddox

A few weeks later I’ve been so lonely lately that I don’t know what to do with myself or how to stop the emotion from choking me alive

Michelle dropped out of college. She is at home with the twins-Isaac and Gabriel –and she is doing a hell of a job.

But sometimes, when I come home from practice or one of my games, I can’t help but feel left out.

Carefully, I stroll into the living room.

Michelle is feeding Isacc right now, smiling happily. “You’re such a sweet little guy. All googly

-eyed and cute.”

A smile tugs on my lips. I fed the twins earlier, yet the joy of seeing them eat never stops. I love them so much.

“They sure are charming,” I say. “Dangerously so.” Michelle smiles brighter without looking at me. “Like their father…”

“You think I’m charmin

III

“Very.”

The compliment makes my chest swell. I scratch the back of my head, pulling my lips into my mouth. “Hey, listen, do you want to watch a movie later when the twins are sleeping and” 1

“No, I better fall asleep in the living room,” Michelle interrupts. “I have to sleep when they sleep. Or else I get no rest.”

“I know, but I thought you could sleep on top of me while we watch something…” I really want to cuddle.

“Maybe tomorrow?”

Disappointment fills my chest like lead. “Okay.”

with slumped shoulders, feeling left out. Am I even part of this family? It might sound silly, but it feels like Michelle spends so much time with the twins that I wonder if

and she laughs. She is

whine. A lot has happened lately. Michelle is busy, but I must admit that this gets me; this is

It hurts.

feel unwanted and lonely. I don’t expect sex since Michelle is recovering from her

but affection is essential.

me. Put her fingers over

I sound

wait for her to come back

***

A few months later

section while the crowd cheers. My teammates are bumping

happy, but that

“Good game, man.”

say. “It was

you always bring

Robin, who was recruited to the same team as me, is sweatier

sure came back-you’re

glad we

appreciated on this team. The compliments are plenty, and everything

VIP seats are

My shoulders sag.

is home with the twins, and I shouldn’t expect her to bring our babies to a game. Yet I can’t stop

I go to bed, I feel like I’m

even

games. Not even now when I play in the goddamn NFL, and my

locker room, shower, and pick up my phone while Robin whistles

us tonight?” Robin asks, probably only to be polite since

I head to the gym.

I think

stop talking, staring

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