Chapter 39

Maddox

A few weeks later I’ve been so lonely lately that I don’t know what to do with myself or how to stop the emotion from choking me alive

Michelle dropped out of college. She is at home with the twins-Isaac and Gabriel –and she is doing a hell of a job.

But sometimes, when I come home from practice or one of my games, I can’t help but feel left out.

Carefully, I stroll into the living room.

Michelle is feeding Isacc right now, smiling happily. “You’re such a sweet little guy. All googly

-eyed and cute.”

A smile tugs on my lips. I fed the twins earlier, yet the joy of seeing them eat never stops. I love them so much.

“They sure are charming,” I say. “Dangerously so.” Michelle smiles brighter without looking at me. “Like their father…”

“You think I’m charmin

III

“Very.”

The compliment makes my chest swell. I scratch the back of my head, pulling my lips into my mouth. “Hey, listen, do you want to watch a movie later when the twins are sleeping and” 1

“No, I better fall asleep in the living room,” Michelle interrupts. “I have to sleep when they sleep. Or else I get no rest.”

“I know, but I thought you could sleep on top of me while we watch something…” I really want to cuddle.

“Maybe tomorrow?”

Disappointment fills my chest like lead. “Okay.”

family? It might sound silly, but it feels like Michelle spends so

is

admit that this gets me; this is what cuts deep under

It hurts.

lonely. I don’t expect sex since Michelle is recovering from

but affection is essential.

don’t know… Hug me. Put her fingers over my skin and just caress

do I

wait for her to

***

A few months later

winning another game, my eyes automatically travel to the VIP section while the crowd cheers. My teammates are bumping into me, patting my back,

happy, but that

“Good game, man.”

say. “It

but you always bring

Robin, who was recruited to the same team as

we sure came back-you’re both fucking

glad we

team. The compliments are plenty, and everything should be perfect. I play well, and

VIP seats are

My shoulders sag.

I shouldn’t expect her to bring our babies to a game. Yet I can’t stop that darkness within me from growing. It’s gripping me like dark

I wake up to when I go to bed, I feel like I’m

even care about

up for any of my games. Not even now when

room, shower, and pick

with us tonight?” Robin asks, probably only to be polite

gym. I don’t drink or eat junk food, yet I still don’t have the

I think I’m

staring

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