Chapter 39

Maddox

A few weeks later I’ve been so lonely lately that I don’t know what to do with myself or how to stop the emotion from choking me alive

Michelle dropped out of college. She is at home with the twins-Isaac and Gabriel –and she is doing a hell of a job.

But sometimes, when I come home from practice or one of my games, I can’t help but feel left out.

Carefully, I stroll into the living room.

Michelle is feeding Isacc right now, smiling happily. “You’re such a sweet little guy. All googly

-eyed and cute.”

A smile tugs on my lips. I fed the twins earlier, yet the joy of seeing them eat never stops. I love them so much.

“They sure are charming,” I say. “Dangerously so.” Michelle smiles brighter without looking at me. “Like their father…”

“You think I’m charmin

III

“Very.”

The compliment makes my chest swell. I scratch the back of my head, pulling my lips into my mouth. “Hey, listen, do you want to watch a movie later when the twins are sleeping and” 1

“No, I better fall asleep in the living room,” Michelle interrupts. “I have to sleep when they sleep. Or else I get no rest.”

“I know, but I thought you could sleep on top of me while we watch something…” I really want to cuddle.

“Maybe tomorrow?”

Disappointment fills my chest like lead. “Okay.”

but it feels like Michelle spends so much time with the twins that I wonder if they love us the same. They are babies, yet I can’t shake off that

Michelle smiles, and she laughs. She is a fantastic

whine. A lot has happened lately. Michelle is busy, but I must admit that this gets me; this is what cuts deep under my skin:

It hurts.

don’t expect sex

but affection is essential.

just, I don’t know… Hug me. Put her fingers over my skin

I sound

wait for her

***

A few months later

to the VIP section while the crowd cheers. My teammates are bumping into me, patting my back,

be happy, but that doesn’t stop me from

“Good game, man.”

I say.

but you always bring your

recruited to the same team as me, is sweatier than all of us. “It’s a

sure came back-you’re

glad we recruited

on this team. The compliments are plenty, and everything should be perfect. I play

VIP seats are

My shoulders sag.

I shouldn’t expect her to bring our babies to a game. Yet I can’t stop that darkness within

I go to

even

of my games. Not even now when I play in

others into the locker room, shower, and

us tonight?” Robin asks, probably only to be polite since

the gym. I don’t drink

I think

stop talking, staring at the

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