Chapter 39
Maddox
A few weeks later I’ve been so lonely lately that I don’t know what to do with myself or how to stop the emotion from choking me alive
Michelle dropped out of college. She is at home with the twins-Isaac and Gabriel –and she is doing a hell of a job.
But sometimes, when I come home from practice or one of my games, I can’t help but feel left out.
Carefully, I stroll into the living room.
Michelle is feeding Isacc right now, smiling happily. “You’re such a sweet little guy. All googly
-eyed and cute.”
A smile tugs on my lips. I fed the twins earlier, yet the joy of seeing them eat never stops. I love them so much.
“They sure are charming,” I say. “Dangerously so.” Michelle smiles brighter without looking at me. “Like their father…”
“You think I’m charmin
III
“Very.”
The compliment makes my chest swell. I scratch the back of my head, pulling my lips into my mouth. “Hey, listen, do you want to watch a movie later when the twins are sleeping and” 1
“No, I better fall asleep in the living room,” Michelle interrupts. “I have to sleep when they sleep. Or else I get no rest.”
“I know, but I thought you could sleep on top of me while we watch something…” I really want to cuddle.
“Maybe tomorrow?”
Disappointment fills my chest like lead. “Okay.”
feels like Michelle spends so much time with the twins that
and she laughs. She is
busy, but I must admit that this gets me; this is what cuts
It hurts.
lonely. I don’t expect sex since Michelle is recovering from her
but affection is essential.
just, I don’t know… Hug me. Put her fingers over my
I sound
her
***
A few months later
the crowd cheers.
but that doesn’t stop me from forcing a smile onto
“Good game, man.”
say. “It was
but you always bring
recruited to the same team as me, is
sure came
glad we
everything should be perfect. I play well, and
VIP seats are
My shoulders sag.
I shouldn’t expect her to bring our babies to a game. Yet I can’t stop that darkness
wake up to when I
even care about
to congratulate us. He never shows up for any of my games. Not even now when I play in the goddamn NFL, and my mom
the others into the locker room, shower, and
tonight?” Robin asks, probably only to be polite since I’ve said no
play football, and most evenings, I head to the gym. I don’t drink or eat junk food,
I think I’m
stop talking, staring
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