Chapter 39

Maddox

A few weeks later I’ve been so lonely lately that I don’t know what to do with myself or how to stop the emotion from choking me alive

Michelle dropped out of college. She is at home with the twins-Isaac and Gabriel –and she is doing a hell of a job.

But sometimes, when I come home from practice or one of my games, I can’t help but feel left out.

Carefully, I stroll into the living room.

Michelle is feeding Isacc right now, smiling happily. “You’re such a sweet little guy. All googly

-eyed and cute.”

A smile tugs on my lips. I fed the twins earlier, yet the joy of seeing them eat never stops. I love them so much.

“They sure are charming,” I say. “Dangerously so.” Michelle smiles brighter without looking at me. “Like their father…”

“You think I’m charmin

III

“Very.”

The compliment makes my chest swell. I scratch the back of my head, pulling my lips into my mouth. “Hey, listen, do you want to watch a movie later when the twins are sleeping and” 1

“No, I better fall asleep in the living room,” Michelle interrupts. “I have to sleep when they sleep. Or else I get no rest.”

“I know, but I thought you could sleep on top of me while we watch something…” I really want to cuddle.

“Maybe tomorrow?”

Disappointment fills my chest like lead. “Okay.”

I even part of this family? It might sound silly, but it feels like Michelle spends so much time with the twins that I

and she laughs. She is

I shouldn’t whine. A lot has happened lately. Michelle is busy, but I must admit that this gets me; this is what cuts deep under my skin: Michelle barely

It hurts.

expect

but affection is essential.

would just, I don’t know… Hug me. Put her fingers

do I sound

will wait for her to come

***

A few months later

travel to the VIP section while the crowd cheers. My teammates are bumping into

I can’t focus, I can’t be happy, but that doesn’t

“Good game, man.”

I say.

but you always

recruited to the same team as me, is sweatier than

we sure came

glad we recruited

and everything should be

VIP seats

My shoulders sag.

the twins, and I shouldn’t expect her to bring our babies to a game.

to when I go to bed, I feel like I’m slipping into

anyone even care

to congratulate us. He never shows up for any of my games. Not even now when I play in the goddamn NFL, and my mom is nowhere to be found either. Not that

follow the others into the locker room, shower, and pick up my phone while Robin

asks, probably only to be

head to the gym. I don’t drink or eat junk food, yet I still

I think I’m

talking, staring at

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