Chapter 39

Maddox

A few weeks later I’ve been so lonely lately that I don’t know what to do with myself or how to stop the emotion from choking me alive

Michelle dropped out of college. She is at home with the twins-Isaac and Gabriel –and she is doing a hell of a job.

But sometimes, when I come home from practice or one of my games, I can’t help but feel left out.

Carefully, I stroll into the living room.

Michelle is feeding Isacc right now, smiling happily. “You’re such a sweet little guy. All googly

-eyed and cute.”

A smile tugs on my lips. I fed the twins earlier, yet the joy of seeing them eat never stops. I love them so much.

“They sure are charming,” I say. “Dangerously so.” Michelle smiles brighter without looking at me. “Like their father…”

“You think I’m charmin

III

“Very.”

The compliment makes my chest swell. I scratch the back of my head, pulling my lips into my mouth. “Hey, listen, do you want to watch a movie later when the twins are sleeping and” 1

“No, I better fall asleep in the living room,” Michelle interrupts. “I have to sleep when they sleep. Or else I get no rest.”

“I know, but I thought you could sleep on top of me while we watch something…” I really want to cuddle.

“Maybe tomorrow?”

Disappointment fills my chest like lead. “Okay.”

like Michelle spends so much time

smiles, and she laughs. She is a fantastic mother, but

busy, but I must admit that this gets

It hurts.

and lonely. I don’t expect sex since Michelle is

but affection is essential.

Put her fingers over my skin and

do I sound

for her

***

A few months later

automatically travel to the VIP section while the crowd cheers. My teammates

but that doesn’t stop me

“Good game, man.”

say. “It

you always bring

won,” Robin, who was recruited to the same team as me, is sweatier than all of us. “It’s a

came back-you’re

glad we recruited

appreciated on this team. The compliments are plenty, and everything should be perfect. I play well, and I

the VIP seats are

My shoulders sag.

twins, and I shouldn’t expect her to bring our babies to a game. Yet I can’t stop that darkness within me from growing. It’s gripping me like dark

from when I wake up to when I

anyone even care

any of my games. Not even now when I play in the goddamn NFL, and my mom is nowhere to be found either.

room, shower, and pick up my phone while

us tonight?” Robin asks, probably only

head to the gym. I don’t drink or eat junk food, yet I still don’t have the attention of my

think I’m

stop talking, staring at

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