Chapter 39

Maddox

A few weeks later I’ve been so lonely lately that I don’t know what to do with myself or how to stop the emotion from choking me alive

Michelle dropped out of college. She is at home with the twins-Isaac and Gabriel –and she is doing a hell of a job.

But sometimes, when I come home from practice or one of my games, I can’t help but feel left out.

Carefully, I stroll into the living room.

Michelle is feeding Isacc right now, smiling happily. “You’re such a sweet little guy. All googly

-eyed and cute.”

A smile tugs on my lips. I fed the twins earlier, yet the joy of seeing them eat never stops. I love them so much.

“They sure are charming,” I say. “Dangerously so.” Michelle smiles brighter without looking at me. “Like their father…”

“You think I’m charmin

III

“Very.”

The compliment makes my chest swell. I scratch the back of my head, pulling my lips into my mouth. “Hey, listen, do you want to watch a movie later when the twins are sleeping and” 1

“No, I better fall asleep in the living room,” Michelle interrupts. “I have to sleep when they sleep. Or else I get no rest.”

“I know, but I thought you could sleep on top of me while we watch something…” I really want to cuddle.

“Maybe tomorrow?”

Disappointment fills my chest like lead. “Okay.”

feels like Michelle spends so much time with the twins that

and she laughs. She is

busy, but I must admit that this gets me; this is what cuts

It hurts.

lonely. I don’t expect sex since Michelle is recovering from her

but affection is essential.

just, I don’t know… Hug me. Put her fingers over my

I sound

her

***

A few months later

the crowd cheers.

but that doesn’t stop me from forcing a smile onto

“Good game, man.”

say. “It was

but you always bring

recruited to the same team as me, is

sure came

glad we

everything should be perfect. I play well, and

VIP seats are

My shoulders sag.

I shouldn’t expect her to bring our babies to a game. Yet I can’t stop that darkness

wake up to when I

even care about

to congratulate us. He never shows up for any of my games. Not even now when I play in the goddamn NFL, and my mom

the others into the locker room, shower, and

tonight?” Robin asks, probably only to be polite since I’ve said no

play football, and most evenings, I head to the gym. I don’t drink or eat junk food,

I think I’m

stop talking, staring

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