Chapter 39

Maddox

A few weeks later I’ve been so lonely lately that I don’t know what to do with myself or how to stop the emotion from choking me alive

Michelle dropped out of college. She is at home with the twins-Isaac and Gabriel –and she is doing a hell of a job.

But sometimes, when I come home from practice or one of my games, I can’t help but feel left out.

Carefully, I stroll into the living room.

Michelle is feeding Isacc right now, smiling happily. “You’re such a sweet little guy. All googly

-eyed and cute.”

A smile tugs on my lips. I fed the twins earlier, yet the joy of seeing them eat never stops. I love them so much.

“They sure are charming,” I say. “Dangerously so.” Michelle smiles brighter without looking at me. “Like their father…”

“You think I’m charmin

III

“Very.”

The compliment makes my chest swell. I scratch the back of my head, pulling my lips into my mouth. “Hey, listen, do you want to watch a movie later when the twins are sleeping and” 1

“No, I better fall asleep in the living room,” Michelle interrupts. “I have to sleep when they sleep. Or else I get no rest.”

“I know, but I thought you could sleep on top of me while we watch something…” I really want to cuddle.

“Maybe tomorrow?”

Disappointment fills my chest like lead. “Okay.”

might sound silly, but it feels like Michelle spends so much time with the twins

is

admit that this gets me; this is what

It hurts.

I don’t expect sex since Michelle is recovering from her

but affection is essential.

me. Put her fingers

I

her to come

***

A few months later

the VIP section while the crowd cheers. My teammates are bumping

happy, but that doesn’t stop me from forcing a smile onto my

“Good game, man.”

I say.

you always bring your

the same team as me, is sweatier than all of us.

we sure came back-you’re both fucking

glad we recruited

The compliments are plenty, and everything should be perfect. I play well,

VIP

My shoulders sag.

twins, and I shouldn’t expect her to bring our babies to a game. Yet I can’t stop that darkness within me from growing. It’s

when I wake up to when I go

even care about

Not even now when I play in the goddamn NFL, and my mom is nowhere to be found either.

and pick up my phone

us tonight?” Robin asks, probably only to be polite since

gym. I don’t drink or eat

I think

talking, staring at the

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