Chapter 39
Maddox
A few weeks later I’ve been so lonely lately that I don’t know what to do with myself or how to stop the emotion from choking me alive
Michelle dropped out of college. She is at home with the twins-Isaac and Gabriel –and she is doing a hell of a job.
But sometimes, when I come home from practice or one of my games, I can’t help but feel left out.
Carefully, I stroll into the living room.
Michelle is feeding Isacc right now, smiling happily. “You’re such a sweet little guy. All googly
-eyed and cute.”
A smile tugs on my lips. I fed the twins earlier, yet the joy of seeing them eat never stops. I love them so much.
“They sure are charming,” I say. “Dangerously so.” Michelle smiles brighter without looking at me. “Like their father…”
“You think I’m charmin
III
“Very.”
The compliment makes my chest swell. I scratch the back of my head, pulling my lips into my mouth. “Hey, listen, do you want to watch a movie later when the twins are sleeping and” 1
“No, I better fall asleep in the living room,” Michelle interrupts. “I have to sleep when they sleep. Or else I get no rest.”
“I know, but I thought you could sleep on top of me while we watch something…” I really want to cuddle.
“Maybe tomorrow?”
Disappointment fills my chest like lead. “Okay.”
part of this family? It might sound silly, but it feels like Michelle spends so much time with the twins that I wonder if they love us
Michelle smiles, and she laughs. She is a fantastic mother, but she never even
is busy, but I must admit that this gets me; this is what cuts deep under my
It hurts.
expect
but affection is essential.
me. Put her fingers over my
I sound
her to
***
A few months later
VIP section while the crowd cheers. My teammates
happy, but that doesn’t stop me from forcing a smile onto
“Good game, man.”
say.
always bring
recruited to the same team as me, is sweatier than all of us. “It’s a
came back-you’re both fucking
glad we
on this team. The compliments are plenty, and everything should be perfect. I play well,
VIP seats
My shoulders sag.
her to bring our babies to a game. Yet I can’t stop that darkness within me from
I wake up to when I go
anyone even care about
shows up for any of my games. Not even now when
follow the others into the locker room, shower, and pick up my phone while Robin whistles to
probably only to be polite since I’ve said no
I wake up to run, practice and play football, and most evenings, I head to the gym. I don’t drink or eat junk food, yet
I think
staring
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