Chapter 39
Maddox
A few weeks later I’ve been so lonely lately that I don’t know what to do with myself or how to stop the emotion from choking me alive
Michelle dropped out of college. She is at home with the twins-Isaac and Gabriel –and she is doing a hell of a job.
But sometimes, when I come home from practice or one of my games, I can’t help but feel left out.
Carefully, I stroll into the living room.
Michelle is feeding Isacc right now, smiling happily. “You’re such a sweet little guy. All googly
-eyed and cute.”
A smile tugs on my lips. I fed the twins earlier, yet the joy of seeing them eat never stops. I love them so much.
“They sure are charming,” I say. “Dangerously so.” Michelle smiles brighter without looking at me. “Like their father…”
“You think I’m charmin
III
“Very.”
The compliment makes my chest swell. I scratch the back of my head, pulling my lips into my mouth. “Hey, listen, do you want to watch a movie later when the twins are sleeping and” 1
“No, I better fall asleep in the living room,” Michelle interrupts. “I have to sleep when they sleep. Or else I get no rest.”
“I know, but I thought you could sleep on top of me while we watch something…” I really want to cuddle.
“Maybe tomorrow?”
Disappointment fills my chest like lead. “Okay.”
part of this family? It might sound silly, but it feels like Michelle spends so much time with the twins that I wonder if they love us the same. They are babies, yet I can’t
and she laughs. She is a fantastic mother, but she
happened lately. Michelle is busy, but I must admit that this gets me; this is what cuts deep under my skin:
It hurts.
I don’t expect sex since Michelle is recovering from her
but affection is essential.
would just, I don’t know… Hug me. Put her fingers
do I
her to come back
***
A few months later
travel to the VIP section while the crowd cheers.
I can’t focus, I can’t be happy, but that doesn’t stop me
“Good game, man.”
I say.
but you always
was recruited to the same team as me, is sweatier than all of us. “It’s a
came
glad we
are plenty, and everything should
the VIP
My shoulders sag.
bring our babies to a game. Yet I can’t stop that
to when I go to
even
to congratulate us. He never shows up for any of my games. Not even now when I play in the goddamn NFL, and my
room, shower, and pick up my phone while Robin
asks, probably only to be polite
to the gym. I don’t drink or eat junk
I think
stop talking, staring
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