Chapter 39

Maddox

A few weeks later I’ve been so lonely lately that I don’t know what to do with myself or how to stop the emotion from choking me alive

Michelle dropped out of college. She is at home with the twins-Isaac and Gabriel –and she is doing a hell of a job.

But sometimes, when I come home from practice or one of my games, I can’t help but feel left out.

Carefully, I stroll into the living room.

Michelle is feeding Isacc right now, smiling happily. “You’re such a sweet little guy. All googly

-eyed and cute.”

A smile tugs on my lips. I fed the twins earlier, yet the joy of seeing them eat never stops. I love them so much.

“They sure are charming,” I say. “Dangerously so.” Michelle smiles brighter without looking at me. “Like their father…”

“You think I’m charmin

III

“Very.”

The compliment makes my chest swell. I scratch the back of my head, pulling my lips into my mouth. “Hey, listen, do you want to watch a movie later when the twins are sleeping and” 1

“No, I better fall asleep in the living room,” Michelle interrupts. “I have to sleep when they sleep. Or else I get no rest.”

“I know, but I thought you could sleep on top of me while we watch something…” I really want to cuddle.

“Maybe tomorrow?”

Disappointment fills my chest like lead. “Okay.”

sound silly, but it feels like Michelle spends so much time with the twins that I wonder if they love us the same. They are babies, yet I can’t

is a

I shouldn’t whine. A lot has happened lately. Michelle is busy, but I must admit that this gets me; this is what cuts deep under my skin: Michelle barely

It hurts.

expect sex since Michelle is

but affection is essential.

she would just, I don’t know… Hug me. Put her fingers over my skin and just

do I

will wait for her to come back to

***

A few months later

another game, my eyes automatically travel to the VIP section while the crowd cheers. My teammates are

focus, I can’t be happy, but that doesn’t stop me from forcing a smile onto my

“Good game, man.”

say. “It

always bring

can’t believe we won,” Robin, who was recruited to the same team as me, is sweatier

came back-you’re both

glad we

and everything

the VIP seats

My shoulders sag.

bring our babies to a game. Yet I can’t stop that darkness within me from growing. It’s gripping me

when I go to bed, I feel like

anyone even care

He never shows up for any of my games. Not even now when

locker room, shower, and pick up my phone while Robin whistles to

with us tonight?” Robin asks, probably only to be

football, and most evenings, I head to the gym. I don’t drink or eat junk food, yet I still don’t have the attention of my

think I’m

talking, staring

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