Chapter 39
Maddox
A few weeks later I’ve been so lonely lately that I don’t know what to do with myself or how to stop the emotion from choking me alive
Michelle dropped out of college. She is at home with the twins-Isaac and Gabriel –and she is doing a hell of a job.
But sometimes, when I come home from practice or one of my games, I can’t help but feel left out.
Carefully, I stroll into the living room.
Michelle is feeding Isacc right now, smiling happily. “You’re such a sweet little guy. All googly
-eyed and cute.”
A smile tugs on my lips. I fed the twins earlier, yet the joy of seeing them eat never stops. I love them so much.
“They sure are charming,” I say. “Dangerously so.” Michelle smiles brighter without looking at me. “Like their father…”
“You think I’m charmin
III
“Very.”
The compliment makes my chest swell. I scratch the back of my head, pulling my lips into my mouth. “Hey, listen, do you want to watch a movie later when the twins are sleeping and” 1
“No, I better fall asleep in the living room,” Michelle interrupts. “I have to sleep when they sleep. Or else I get no rest.”
“I know, but I thought you could sleep on top of me while we watch something…” I really want to cuddle.
“Maybe tomorrow?”
Disappointment fills my chest like lead. “Okay.”
Am I even part of this family? It might sound silly, but it feels like Michelle spends so much time
is a fantastic mother, but she never even
that this
It hurts.
unwanted and lonely. I don’t expect
but affection is essential.
I don’t know… Hug me. Put her fingers over my skin and just
I
will wait for her to
***
A few months later
my eyes automatically travel to the VIP section while the crowd cheers. My teammates are bumping into me, patting
can’t focus, I can’t be happy, but that doesn’t stop me
“Good game, man.”
I say. “It was
you always bring
was recruited to the same
sure came
we recruited
team. The compliments are plenty, and everything should be perfect. I play well, and I should
the VIP
My shoulders sag.
home with the twins, and I shouldn’t expect her to bring our babies to a game. Yet I can’t stop
from when I wake up to when I go to bed, I feel
even
us. He never shows up for any of my games. Not even now when I play in the goddamn NFL, and my mom is nowhere
into the locker room, shower, and pick up my phone while Robin whistles to
asks, probably only to be polite
the gym. I don’t drink or eat junk food,
I think
talking, staring at the
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