Rejected Mate and Following Fate - Awakening Book

Surprisingly, despite my mind working overtime and inability to keep picturing Colton inside my head, I fell asleep. Curled up with Meadow, talking quietly until the darkness grew that we could no longer see each other, and we faded into tiredness. I don’t remember who fell asleep first, but I woke to her rousing me with a shake and telling me we had to get up. Exhausted, groggy, and somewhat disorientated, as I came to and impulsively reached for the warm and familiar body of my mate and blinked at the shock of his absence.

It was then that it all came rushing back and I almost cried with the realization that none of it was a dream, he’s really not here to welcome my day, to kiss me good morning or hug me awake. And that today we have to leave to go drive an almost full day to find a witch who may or may not help us. It feels like being sucker punched by a cannonball and my heart faltered before pounding through my chest in the most agonizing way.

It’s way too early in the day, sun not quite fully up but I know we have to get out of here at first light to make sure we hit our destination before the sun comes down again. The goal is to get there without stopping if we can and try to make it in one day. The sooner we deal with this, the quicker we can break the spell, and the faster I can get Colton back. That our pack can come home again.

I wander down with her, half asleep, fatigue kicking my ass still and we grab a cold quick breakfast in the kitchens as quietly as we can so as not to attract attention and spread the word we are sneaking out.

We didn’t tell the pack we planned on leaving, so as not to cause panic and have the remainder of the pack try and talk us out of going. We are relying on Sierra telling them after we go so no one can hinder our progress. Wolves are naturally protective and when it comes to a Luna, they will hold me against my will for my own safety if they feel it’s needed.

Everyone is on edge and I know the loss of their Luna on top of their alpha’s absence will send them into a frenzy and barricade us from leaving. Wolves need the hierarchy more than is logical sometimes, especially the peaceable land-dwelling type and by going out there, I am abandoning them to their own fate should anything happen to me. They’re going to be unhappy when they know the Rema is now in charge and they have neither Alpha nor Luna in the grounds.

It has to be done. I’m the one with the strongest gifts, and that gives us more chance of doing this without death. And the spell books and the bottle seemed pretty certain I was meant to go with Meadow to see this through, for whatever reason.

I walk slowly into the medi bay when Meadow cuts right to head outside and check the sentinels she left in charge of loading the truck have done what they were asked. They know she’s leaving but they don’t know about me. I am waiting until the last second to go out and jump in the truck with her, besides I still have one task to carry out before we go.

Carmen is standing by the window when I walk in and staring outside at the obvious green mist which is still lingering over the horizon. I can tell by the waves of mood coming her way she already knows what’s happened while she was asleep. She’s quiet, still, somber, and standing upright like that frosty bitch I knew so long ago, only now, I can feel her so much better than I used to, and the sadness is almost suffocating. If I didn’t know her before, and only saw her like this now, I would be moved to pity this vulnerable creature and wonder who had hurt her so deeply.

I clear my throat to get her attention, feeling like I’m invading her space and a little awkward; she snaps around, startled at seeing it’s me and not the doctor, lowering her eyes immediately in submission, knowing her place in our grounds.

“Luna…. I … I’m sorry for….” She begins with a waiver in her voice, her guilt seeping through so that I know what she’s about to say; almost like an overwhelming heavy dampener in the air and I cut her off. She is nothing like the fierce and stubborn girl of yesterday.

“You didn’t do this. She didn’t do this. It would have happened anyway. They were waiting for a time and it was just coincidence.” I try to soothe her, but the lack of change in her tight expression tells me my words are falling on deaf ears and her responsibility in this runs deep. I sigh and try a different approach in a bid to remove that dark shroud of worthlessness which is cloaking her and making me feel all kinds of emotional. “You can look at me, I give you permission. After all, you are one of my sub pack and they’re family. No need for the formalities.” It’s the least I can do, given how awkward it is for her to stare at the ground while I am attempting to comfort her and making a hash job of it.

Her eyes flash up at me, a hint of shock on that normally noble face as she second guesses my words, looks away again and then flickers back at me unsurely. I think she’s trying to figure out if I actually mean it, or if I’m trying to catch her out, but I haven’t got time to waste today.

“Look, I didn’t come here to have a chit chat… I came to ask you something.” My nerves are building, knowing it’s almost time and I sigh and look around the room trying to ground myself and sound stronger than I am at this moment in time. I feel like time is ticking away faster than I can deal with and yet also not. Like wading through sand in terms of how long it’s been since Colton held me.

“Yes, Luna.” She has the sense not to question anyway. I guess she really is trying to step in line with my new role, or that she’s so bogged down in her own grief that all her fight has left her. I’m thinking it’s more that than anything else.

and where we’re at. I want you to come with us, Meadow and I. I think you may be useful, and we need the help while numbers here are not what they were. It’ll be the three of us and only a couple of days away from here in the

up, mistrust all over her face as she thinks something through, and I can almost taste the apprehension coming

easing her guilt though, it’s

not willing to confirm that yes, I’m worried her sense of responsibility will have a long-term effect on her and I don’t want to burden Sierra with her in

I kept her at the mountain then … so what I’m saying is, yes. Don’t cotton pad me, I’m capable and I’m willing.” Steel determination, even tone and no hint of weakness as she locks an eye on me. Her emotion stabilizing as she regains control and I’m

We think every pack in this entire area was probably caught the same way. We were not the aim; we were only part of it.” I point out, needing her to know that what her mother did was not the

starts, and I cut

to leave now, because we have a possible fix.” I turn, motioning her to follow me, but she hesitates, and I

Colton’s also a ….” She trails off, her voice weakening to a whisper and she gazes almost through me, caught somewhere in her head, and I realize, despite living with all the exposed secrets all these months and making peace with them, this is all new to

look over my shoulder at her, confirming with my serious expression, and her eyes widen on me as

this reaction well and should have expected it, given what’s happened. The realization that I’m part of the enemy and the people who just ripped her mother to shreds, that I share their blood and stand before her, telling her I’m an ally and not foe. It was hard for me to digest it so many months ago and it took a while for the pack to fully accept it and stop staring at me like I was some kind of abomination at first, so I can’t even imagine what’s running through her mind as she stares at me so intensely and see’s part monster who just

me even less, I guess. Turns out there’s a few hybrids int the Santos.” I sigh, dodging her obvious issue with this fact, really not wanting to stand and do this now and yet she surprises me with blurting out a

she was…. weak.” The shame that overcomes her tone, flushes her cheeks red and pushes her gaze back to the ground, overwhelms me. I gasp in shock, turning back to her in time to see her dropping her chin to her chest and exhaling painfully as though letting out a long-burdened weight on her body and I wonder if this is the first time she has told anyone those words. I know being Luna means I can somehow charm her pack into confiding deepest secrets, but I truly never thought Carmen would be so willing to share something like this. I know for a fact Colton doesn’t have this in his memory

was so mad, he never touched her again, but she was already pregnant with me and he pressured her into aborting. He abhorred her for that part of her, and me, because it lives in me too and he hated the fact she defied him and kept me. Inferior…weak. Worthless. An impure

her mental state with turning. It explains Carmen’s sometimes loner personality; while wolves, even me, really long to be part of the pack and crave close connections but she always avoided it. Flaws from hybrids can be devastating on the abilities most wolves are born with. Any discrepancy or mutation can affect us, like how I can override Colton’s alpha tone even before I was his Luna. Sierra and the Doc found out a lot about this in the years they studied and researched hybrids

live with it, and learn how to use it to our advantage. If you were weak, inferior, Meds wouldn’t have vouched for you as our back up. So pull yourself together, grab whatever you need a for a few days and meet me out front. We need to go and as much as I know I should be giving you time, empathy and compassion; I

We need to leave; we need to go before people wake and we want to be out of here at the break of dawn as the sun peeks to make sure we have maximum time to get where we are going. Safe from vamps, and early enough that maybe the wolves out there will be asleep, wherever they are. I know that even enchanted that they do rest, we saw them trial off as the sun went down to go wherever they were beckoned, and we can only assume it was to sleep. I don’t doubt that even enchanted they need to do the basics of self-care, like eat, rest, use the

need to stay pulled together and strong, or else I’ll break and I’m already emotionally exhausted. I walk off, leaving her there to decide what she’s doing and make light work of getting outside in hyper speed. I’m in no

green military paint so not overly showy, but I know they’re what I saw

sense of Deja Vue and full circle claw at the back of my mind again, making my skin bristle and wonder at why this feels like it has more importance than it should. Maybe the fates are coercing something once again, but I truly can’t imagine how this circles back to all that’s come before. I push the

space in the back for supplies and us to lay down and sleep should we need it. And when I wander round to the open back doors, I’m not shocked to see two beds clipped into place, one on each side, and another one folded flat and pushed into a corner. I guess Meds figured should we need to stop and spend a night somewhere, then a truck with a protection spell is the best place to sleep. If the runes keep Vamps out here, then it should be the same on this vehicle, so inside we wouldn’t be sitting targets at all. There’s a whole bunch of creates piled and strapped into one corner, holding dried and fresh foods, a small camping stove and crates of water beside it. She really has thought ahead, and it brings a veil of peace over my fraught nerves for a moment. Reminding

comes around, slightly pushing me over while she closes up the back doors and locks them tight, showing more runic symbols painted on them and I run my fingertips

I don’t even know myself. Carmen never gave me any

we test it. She put them everywhere, even underneath and on the roof. Thinking it will create a bubble, so the fog can’t get in and neither will anyone who’s enchanted.” Meadow stands beside me and admires Sierra’s handywork with a silent stuff posture. I can feel her tension ebbing my way,

as being called Tom. Someone Colton trusts and speaks highly of, who’s been on sentinel patrol many times. I guess he is sworn to secrecy. He wouldn’t have been part of the search due to labor of his mate

off that aura of