Rejected Mate and Following Fate - Awakening Book

It’s a strange night, to say the least. Long, and almost sleepless, strained with three minds brewing crazily, and not exactly restful. Conversation is quiet, and sparse, as Carmen asked us never to bring up our newfound fact again and it seems none of us know what else to talk about. It all circles back around the two things – the fact I’m pregnant, with twins, and the fact Carmen lost her child that we never knew existed and mentioning either is obviously a sensitive topic. For both of us.

Me, I lay in bewildered and silent shock, staring at the sky, trying to get my chaotic feelings under control and absorb the reality of this, while Meadow keeps watch. She’s alert, on guard and sits staring out into the darkness, spinning to every new sound and can’t seem to switch off at all. In Colton’s absence she’s become my ever-attentive protector and it soothes me a little, while my heart still yearns for him to come to me and hug me tight.

What I wouldn’t give for him to be laid beside me now. His face close to mine, his nose touching, his breath warming my lips. His strong arms around me, keeping me warm and safe, like he always does. His gentle yet seductive tone and that accent that makes me weak at the knees for him. I miss him more than I can bear, and every second that passes that we’re still apart, I feel like I’m dwindling and crumbling to dust. My heart is broken with the loss of him and my soul is fighting so hard to find the hope, the remedy and to bring him home, yet I’m already so exhausted. I need him so much, more so since the witch told me that I’m carrying our children and I can’t turn if I don’t wish to harm them.

My head’s a mess and I wonder how long they’ve existed in my belly, while I was careless and patrolled with the sentinels. While I used my gifts, selfishly turned at will, and paraded around with no hint of danger of the inner workings of my body. How long have I been tired, and hungry, and oblivious to my own body telling me to slow down and rest, because of these two little lives glowing brightly in the depths of my soul. It makes me sick to my stomach that without even knowing of their presence, I could have ended them with my complete ignorance, and guilt claws at me, cutting deep and slicing my heart to shreds.

Sierra was right, even if she didn’t mean it in that way – I do have a little witch in me. In fact, I have two. Somewhere in my heart it makes me warm, and happy, swearing to protective them at all costs, but the troubles, the worry, and the vulnerability it gives me now, claws up like a dreaded threat and chokes me into uneasy fear. I just lost my edge in this war, my upper hand. If I can’t turn, I can’t heal, so I have to make sure nothing happens to me that requires that. I can’t use my wolf gifts, become strong, and huge. I can’t battle as a human, but at least I still have my vampire traits to fall back on, although my energy is weaker, and at least now I know why.

We all stay this way, trapped in our own heads, dozing occasionally when our bodies give up the fight; catching minutes or more of fretful slumber but then awaken at the uncomfy, and unfamiliar surroundings, with a start. We’re awake at odd times, sometimes together, mostly not, and nothing can really pull us out of it. This weird semi sleep, overly nervy mood we seem to be sharing. It’s a surreal night, being somewhere strange, noises out in the dark that we have never heard back home, but like Leyanne said, nothing comes close or even ventures at the perimeter, so we feel relatively safe even with her gone. Her magic is powerful, and after she left, Meadow found symbols and etchings in a full circle outside on the derelict walls, much like the truck, so she at least didn’t lie about our safety in this ruin. I guess in that she earned one point towards trust.

The early rise of sun doesn’t wake us as we’re already up, boiling water, making coffee that she left behind in that trunk full of things we assume she carries with her. It’s weird. She has no transport around, yet this thing is huge, and weighs a ton and seems to carry everything she needs to travel. It’s full to the brim of clothes, books, dried foods, potion bottles and an array of personal belongings that she has just entrusted to be left with us, with no care about us opening it to get the supplies she mentioned. We made sure not to touch the grimoires that were stacked in one corner, Sierra’s voice coming to mind about never touching one without a witching handing it to you.

We were careful to not pry too much, only access the coffee and sweeteners, ignoring her belongings as best we could and we kept the campsite clean. We are aware that crows still watch us as only a few left with her, and who knows, this magical bitch might have cursed her stuff so if we did pry we would suffer for it. There’s no telling what someone like her would do.

“Who do you think she’s bringing back with her?” Meadow cuts into my thoughts, pulling me out of the endless stirring of coffee I have been doing, while daydreaming about nothing and everything all at once. I shrug, frowning with a deflated exhale and shake my head.

“Honestly, with her, it could be anyone. She’s vague as hell and I’m not convinced she’s sane. I still don’t know if we should trust her or not.”

“Oh, she’s sane. She’s just a little all-knowing and smug for my liking. I don’t trust her as far as I could thorw her while in human form.” Carmen interjects, her face worn and drawn with dark circles under her eyes, telltale signs she didn’t sleep at all, and she moves to rummage a small cooler beside the chest for fresh food and finds nothing. We’re all tired, bellies rumbling from hunger and fed up waiting here.

“One of us should go back to the truck for breakfast supplies. I need bacon, lots and lots of bacon.” Meadow grunts out, never cheerful in the morning without her food, and in the same breath seems to offer to be the one to do it but I shake my head.

“I’ll go, I need the walk and the headspace. This whole thing is like a dream and I have no grasp on reality. “I make a move to get up, from my butt numbing wooden perch but flinch at the reaction.

“No!” both of them snap it in unison, instantly hostile and on their feet, as though ready to take me down while I blink at them in surprise.

“Luna, you should stay safe, here!” Meadow grinds out harshly, furrowing her brow at me, that no nonsense bossy femme on show and motions me to sit down with a jerked thumb.

“And the babies! You’re going nowhere.” Carmen adds on, brazen with her cold, overly protective tone, then blushes as she realizes the words that came from her mouth sounded almost tender as she turns away to hide her own reaction. Her face flushing red and she makes herself busy with tidying up our camp.

“I can’t even process…… I don’t feel any different. Maybe she’s wrong and I’m not. Surely I would know right?” I query but Meadow narrows her gaze on me, all doubt missing in her know it all expression.

“At the house, Sierra said… ‘are you sure you’re not a little witch’, because of how the book responded to you. Maybe she was right, and it’s not you, but there’s witch inside of you growing now and it’s only logical the book responded to them.”

quiet and all eyes stray to my belly from three angles, a pause as it sinks in that Sierra did say that. I even went over it myself through the night and came to the exact same conclusion, and I know for certain my DNA holds no witch. It has to come from

turning humans so easily, are folk lore, and it’s almost impossible to turn a human to wolf. I doubt you can pass on witch DNA without a baby, and I know even the vampires have a whole process involved in turning a human to be like them. It’s not just a bite, and boom, vampire.

there and push the doubt and disbelief away. I instinctively cover my abdomen with a protective flat hand, shuddering inside as I swallow those words and reconfirm my brain that

Meadow smiles, leaning in and rubbing my belly with affection, eyes softening, and then grimaces and casts a glance Carmen’s way, almost guiltily. I feel Meadows sudden drop in mood, the instant regret at being so careless and hurtful and I’m at least glad to see Meadow has found an ounce of her compassion again. Carmen turns to walk away and seems to be trying to look busy, keeping her eyes averted and her face straight while giving no hint of her emotions away. I can’t ignore them coming from her though, and how overwhelming they are in this moment, in small confines. The pangs of heartbreak and loneliness, the

time I go a little easier on her, huh? I mean, she’s been through enough. Meadow mind links me privately, hitting the nail on the head and I nod. I have nothing else I can add, but an understanding of her loss makes me view things a little differently in the new light of day. Carmen is complex and it seems that one thing after another comes up about this girl which makes me dislike her less and less. She should be curled up in a

need to carry on to birth for the changes to take effect, because she became a mother the second that life existed. Just like maybe I’m softer, more compassionate and stronger

Carmen feels or what the lack of that life has done to her since. The hollowness of its absence. Especially knowing she had to save

you’re up.”

or this morning. She’s like a freaking ghost. Just swans in undetected and scare sus shitless with that sudden voice which comes at you like a flying dagger. We stand and pull together in front of the now glowing low embers of the fire, rattled, hearts elevated in beat and look around expectantly

forest, she’s immaculately clean and no sign of fatigue on her at all if she was up all night. I wonder

she asks in

our supplies and you showed up.” Meadow responds drily, still an edge to her voice,

journey. We have to go, he doesn’t like waiting. So come along, pets. No time like the present.” She gestures behind

behind her to resume our single file trail, finding security in being between my two femmes, especially now I know what I carry. Leyanne moves to walk behind us as the birds hitch up and follow, flocking in form god knows

moving and instinctively, I reach out, catching Carmen’s from behind, sliding my fingers into hers. She stiffens at the contact, hesitantly glancing back at me before returning the grip without argument and loosely holding onto my hand. I can feel her awkwardness, her uncertainty, the alien feel of another femme wolf having this kind of contact and I’m sad for her that between her own pack sisters, touch is not familiar. It makes me wonder if it ever

over all night with it sitting in my brain, and I have to clarify a few things. I’ve turned recently, and yet I am still pregnant, even though she said it had

guess in the earliest days they are so tiny and unformed that my wolf gifts ignore the presence until they start to make you sick. I know that pure wolf pups somehow have the ability to withstand turning and I guess the impurity of a mixed child, is its other species is the one who

brow as worry wriggles into my brain; needing boundaries and guidelines to keep them safe, and I wonder how many times I have

new life and stupidly leaves you more vulnerable. I think its nature’s way of ensuring the weaker hybrids don’t get out of the womb. So many obstacles to ensure failure. Only the

she might lose them; even if she doesn’t turn?” Meadow spins her head on Leyanne, homing in on the details and ignoring he rother words, much like I

protect herself. Relies on her pack to shield her, her mate if he wasn’t cursed. Sierra got through, I’m sure you will too. Colton was a strong baby, and I don’t doubt his offspring will be the same. I mean look at you, your mother didn’t have half of your ability and she still carried you

distracted by her words, head pulling away from the topic at hand for my own sanity, and like always, thirsting for more of what I lost in my past. Anything I can ever learn about my mother from before, it’s like a drug for me, always needing more of it as the memories of her fade with time. So few beyond our pack knew

but I know of her. Was quite shocked to piece you and her together last night. But then, I

wondering the same thing. I thought witches had gods, or some other belief, something like a moon goddess, given Leyanne seems

them gods… I call them guides. Voices in the wind, nudges in your gut, itching palms and footsteps that lead you other ways. They send me where I need to go and sometimes it pays off. I’m in the right place at the right time and it all comes together. Like now.” She looks at me for a long second, a smirk nudging her mouth as

it links to us somehow?” I wish she would just open up and speak, stop these dumb riddles and sassy little expressions. Tell us, but I get the feeling she isn’t going to. She plays everything close to her chest and gets a kick out of watching us try to

soon, you will know how. Now speed up a little, I want to get there before he has to go back. He’s a busy man and not famed for patience…. None of them ever are.” She swipes at Meadow’s butt with her branch in an attempt to slap her onwards and gets a snarl and an amber glow under ferocious brows aimed her way. It doesn’t phase her in the slightest and she

fiery in nature and I can

going to act on it, not if you want to live. I’ll make sure of it. I can assure you though, he comes with no intention of harm. You just have to trust the witch, I guess.” That low and smug tone, the brows smoothing out to an almost catlike look

us throw glances at one another, more questions coming with her so-called answers and a feeling

we’re not going to like this.” Carmen butts

figure some things out, seeing as I did not sleep one wink last night. Ma head’s weary. Now shhhhh… get going.” Leyanne gestures for us to move, rather bossily, a lot of harsh hand waving and a finger to her lips to silence our chatter. We don’t