Rejected Mate and Following Fate

Chapter 16: I'm Sorry

I wake up face down on the floor in a heap, arm draped awkwardly over my head and limbs splayed out on the hardwood, disorientated, choking on my own blood, and gagging on bile. Gathering my wits and trying to get my bearings, I struggle to move, dazed for a moment and then I remember where I am, and what he's doing to me. Like a rush of water flowing back to a dry riverbed when the damn is breached.

That surge of furious self-preservation, instant awareness as the room comes back at me and I jump up, heart tearing through my chest with elevated thuds, claws appearing, mind a burning mess of mad. Ready to take him on in a battle to the death and fueled by something inside of me that I never knew I possessed.

I feel like my hatred could melt steel, with the heat radiating from my fiery depths and I spin hysterically, ready to demolish my attacker. Body mid turn in furious speed when I realize he is on the other side of the room from me and looking at me like I have two heads. A good twelve feet away at the least and crouching down, panting heavily, as though he too is recovering.

"Woah, woah. Lorey, calm down, I didn't do anything. Stop and breathe. Take a moment before you start again!" He jumps to his feet, hyperaware of my sudden rise. His palms up, facing me, flat out and he is completely naked, as am I, which only pushes me to heights of venomous hatred.

Claws fully extend as do my teeth and my body shudders as it begins to transform around me, ready to fight him and maim him until this pain inside of my heart starts to ebb. I'm crushed inside, as though my soul is ripped to shreds and hanging around my organs like unwanted trash on the wind. I've never felt this much aggression or blood lust, and I have him fully in my sights. My body tingling all over even though I have no memory of what he has put me through, but enough to know what he intended.

"What did you do to me? Why would you do that to me?" I scream at him, my voice pitched in raw, raspy, hysteria, but he raises his hands higher and pleads with me mentally. His eyes softening, with no attempt to turn, as he watches me at a distance.

Please stop and listen. Let me explain. I haven't, and wouldn't, do that to you. He coaxes gently.

You raped me!! I mentally scream back at him, not seeing anything around me anymore, just the pulsing beat of the vein in his throat as I hone in and know where I'll be aiming with my take down bite, I don't care if it ends us both. I'll kill him for defiling me, destroying my trust in him, ravaging my heart and soul this way.

He shakes his head, looking completely devastated and disheveled. Radiating so many emotions my way but I battle them back, like bouncing tennis balls off a glass wall.

NO, I did not! I never intended to either. Lorey, please, sit… I'll stay here, you stay there, and just let me talk. I need you to calm down and listen. Think. Remember.

I'm breathing so heavily my chest is heaving and I can't calm down. Especially not when he's telling me to. He has no right; he can't be serious with this shit after what he just did. He broke the trust, he broke us, he ruined the bond, and nothing will fix that.

fire, my blood like molten lava in my veins and I can already tell I've turned enough to heal the marks he made on my body because there is no pain and only dried blood. In fact, my complete lack of injury or any sort of niggling physical hurt,

his throat out if he tries. He's disgusting and vile to me now and not who I thought he was. An abuser, unworthy as a leader; not worthy as a mate,

completely desolate. I don't believe him; about what he says he didn't do because I don't know. I blacked out while he was on top of me, doing things…. he had no intention of stopping. He said it… He commanded me. He tried to

it's what I intended. And you did. It worked...You're amazing... your gift, baby, it's fucking perfect." There's a moment of joy followed by a frown as he realizes I am not sharing in his celebrations or relaxing from my stance. Instead I blanche at him in stupefied silence. My brain having a moment and I literally think he might be some kind of sociopath, in denial about what he just did to me…or tried to…or… I don't even

fucking do anything except lay there and succumb?" another sobbing wail, and Colton's face completely drops, obvious regret written all over him and the overpowering sense of pain waving my way. I can feel him trying to tell me this isn't how it seems, by using his emotion instead of words. I'm weakening as adrenalin wains, but I won't relent, and try hard to brick up my wall once more, to keep him

my desire to make him pay. "You pushed all of your rage on my body, and if I wasn't half turned and healing fast, you would have killed me. Do you understand? … Blind sighted, and feral, you would have ended us both…. easily. You got in my head in ways I don't think any wolf has ever been capable and you commanded me to

is tugging from the recess of

and I knew that was a surefire way. I had to see. This changes things Lorey, can't you understand? Our packs are verging on a war where more than ever my mate has to be capable of standing by my side and fighting worse than us. You can absorb my gifts, which means you can absorb any that you come up against, turn them into something more powerful and use them with control. You were right when you said I made a choice and I did ... but this is how we change it. My father has to see that you're not

him, so consumed with mistrust, my mind a flurry of conflicting emotions, backing into a corner until I hit the edge of the bed. It startles me and I seem to snap out of my intense focus on him and look around for the first

my eyes follow the gouges and claw marks running not

clawed through where they hang. Everything is destroyed around us. All the bed sheets are strewn across the floor, most ripped and gashed, feathers floating in the air from cushions that no longer exist, and I crouch quickly to

touch me again." I snarl out, penetrating him with my glare, a second wave of anger even though I'm beginning to see that maybe partially, he isn't lying to me. He still made me believe he would, he scared me, I can't be

almost gave in because I couldn't stomach hurting you like that. I had to see, I had to force your hand, and now look at you…. standing there, poised for a second round like a

only have your words! And nothing you say means shit to me now." I scream it at him, not caring if everyone in this house hears me blow a fuse and

that way." Colton goes for endearing and submissively calm. It's the wrong thing to say entirely, and

Like I trusted the Santos to take care of their own when our people didn't come home! Like I trusted you to stand for me and honor our bond when we were imprinted…. Like I trusted you to be alone with me in a fucking bedroom and not try to defile my fucking body! Trust, Colton? …. You've denied me, let me down more than once in our lifetime, you fall at every hurdle the second daddy says NO. Maybe Carmen has the right idea and you're not someone I should ever trust. Look at how you discard women and pick them up as you fancy. You're weak, you're no Alpha. Always in your father's shadow. You are the last wolf I would ever trust or choose to bond myself

trust him and imprinting stupidly made me think I could. You don't insult a male's pride and ego, definitely not his strength. Especially not an Alpha, but Colton has not been a man for me, he's been a boy

of my own brothers of Santo. She said it was in heartbreak and anger, to make me feel the pain I inflicted on her. So no, I didn't just discard her…. I had to swallow all of that and stick to my commitment. I made my choice, but she kept using us as a reason to punish me while conveniently forgetting her sins. Her jealousy and mistrust are her guilt. The imprinting didn't make me indifferent to her… she did. She wasn't fighting the bond or the lure of the fates as I was, she was trying to wound me and that Lorey, is something you never do to a mate. That's why I can't feel anything for her anymore. It's why we're not dating. After the forest, I found out, and since then I haven't been able to feel anything but disdain for her." His pained,

messed up and I can't believe he is only telling me now. Even if his heart was no longer invested, an alphas pride and ego would have been crushed to have been played like that. His respect in the pack will be

onto the floor, completely exhausted and pull my ripped sheets around me in a bid to self-console. My head a blur of what he just said, some weird sympathy for him even, if I should