Rejected Mate and Following Fate

Chapter 25: Time

It's been a few days since Colton told me about his mom and I swear she keeps plaguing my thoughts. It's like a tiny itch in my brain I can't shake, and I keep coming back to it repeatedly for no obvious reason. I even dreamt of her last night, and it was the weirdest most confusing thing ever. It came after I finally located a memory of her in this shared library of thoughts and couldn't shake her soft face from my visuals. I must have tried too hard and implanted her in my brain to mess with me, it's the only explanation.

I do remember her vaguely without Colton's influence, only in my own memories she's faceless, because I couldn't remember her all that well, so it's nice to apply features to her. She has Colton's flawless beauty, his black hair, darkest chocolate eyes, and sallow skin, with a soft ambience that's less masculine than his.

She used to come to the library near our farm every weekend to read books to the children. I remember her being a caring quiet lady, well spoken, well dressed, and she had no prejudices whatsoever against wolves from rival packs, the children were all one to her. She always wanted to see us live in peace and harmony, and she had this warm pull that I see in Colton sometimes, when he isn't closing up on me and freezing me out.

The dream lingers in my mind, despite being up for hours, and now, I'm sat on the grass taking a break from training and can still feel her voice ebbing back to me from the recess of my mind. Fatigue letting it slip back in as I cool down and catch my breath, and her haunting melodic tone, filled with pleading, rings through again, the words which woke me this morning.

"Save us."

It's all that comes through and it gives me the same shivers it did when I dreamt it. She walked up to me, in a bright white, sterile, wall less space, with no one else around me but blurred nothingness of light and stale air. Standing in the middle of what felt like a hospital, I don't know, unsure where I was meant to go or how I even got there. Confused.

She appeared in the distance at first, catching my eye, almost hazy and surrounded by a fog which cleared as she came closer. Dressed in a light shapeless gown, almost like a medical covering, except it was pure snow white, not blue, or patterned. Her hair was loose, free, and hung longer than I can recall from my memory bank, almost touching her waist, whereas she always kept it jaw length in even Colton's memories.

When she came into focus at first, I could see her cheeks were wet with tears, eyes blood shot, her skin streaked where they had fallen repeatedly and her smock was soaked through, as though they'd been absorbing thousands of them, for an eternity. Her desperate sadness consumed, and overwhelmed me, and I was rooted to the spot, unable to breathe with the heaviness of her pain.

She was eerily pale, beautiful still, but only the shadow of the woman from Colton's memories, thin and worn down, as though her life was being sucked away. She touched my face softly, startling me with the sheer heat she exuded, leaned in so close that she almost kissed me, her warmth invading the coolness of my own air and whispered it right into my face, startling me to wake in the dull stillness of my own room.

Those two damned words.

pushed a physical sensation on my cheek, and I touch it in a bid to remove the feel of it. The dream felt so real and I hate that it won't leave me alone

to reject me, and he back tracked at a hundred miles an hour and completely pulled away. He's been on active avoidance ever since and it's both broken me and pissed

blanks me. He makes sure I can't get close, I can't touch him, and he either sticks with the sub pack so I

just so frustrating. What makes is worse, is Carmen has caught onto the strained atmosphere and is laying on the oozing flirt mode with all her might, driving even the males of the pack to eye roll every time she baby talks him. I think she sees it as hope, or an opening that she's on the path to getting him back, and it's making me sick to watch her smugly move in on him at every opportunity

doesn't mean I'm not having visions of turning and ripping her throat out multiple times a day. Killing a fellow wolf from your pack is a mortal sin, no matter the excuse, but I

off all the stresses of everything going on around us. She brought me clothes, and make up, not that I need them now my own belongings were left at my door when I came back from training a couple of days ago. I suspect Colton went and packed up everything with my scent on in the orphanage, but I can't be sure, and he won't stick around to let me

done for the day. He spends the rest of his time with Juan, patrolling the lay of the land, and overseeing the

and Meadow mentioned that he hasn't called any kind of communal since, as though he's avoiding any real dialogue with any of us. He knows the pack will have questions about this. He brought me to them, made

moon approaches in its cycle and I don't think I can take much more. Logic is telling me to give up on him, but I don't want to accept this is it. That he's done and given up on us after what he said

the chaos of this lack of closure. I'm not being a cold idiot and cutting him off, or avoiding him, like he is me. I would talk to him in a heartbeat if he let me. It's like he just abandoned me after dumping me in his sub pack, with no idea what I'm supposed to be now, how to feel, and what I'm meant to do after the full

don't belong here and although the sub pack seem to be warming to me, I'm not bonded to them. I'm not one of them, and Carmen will kick my ass

of them and I can see Colton allowing her to move me out for the sake

for the past ten minutes, ripping at strands absentmindedly, letting my mind run riot, as Meadow strolls on up beside me and slumps down too. She's barely flushed, no evidence of panting after scaling thirty-foot tree climbs, and almost no sweat has formed on any part of her

a few short days, my stamina is improving, and I no longer hit the shakes and near vomit like the first time we did this.

been driving her mad the past few days, with his overprotective side kicking in, as Juan upped the training schedule and started pushing his

part of our year, which thankfully is short lived, but sees every male and femme who've been turned go into horny overdrive. Most mated couples don't leave the bedrooms for days on end. The unmated are fair game, and result in rushed unions after it's over, many markings out of unwanted pupping's have been borne in the past. It's craziness. I'm not looking forward to it coming at all, seeing as this will be my first year on this side of the fence and I have no idea how it's going to feel. Especially with a head and heart invested in a