Rejected Mate and Following Fate

Surprisingly, despite my mind working overtime and inability to keep picturing Colton inside my head, I fell asleep. Curled up with Meadow, talking quietly until the darkness grew that we could no longer see each other, and we faded into tiredness. I don’t remember who fell asleep first, but I woke to her rousing me with a shake and telling me we had to get up. Exhausted, groggy, and somewhat disorientated, as I came to and impulsively reached for the warm and familiar body of my mate and blinked at the shock of his absence.

It was then that it all came rushing back and I almost cried with the realization that none of it was a dream, he’s really not here to welcome my day, to kiss me good morning or hug me awake. And that today we have to leave to go drive an almost full day to find a witch who may or may not help us. It feels like being sucker punched by a cannonball and my heart faltered before pounding through my chest in the most agonizing way.

It’s way too early in the day, sun not quite fully up but I know we have to get out of here at first light to make sure we hit our destination before the sun comes down again. The goal is to get there without stopping if we can and try to make it in one day. The sooner we deal with this, the quicker we can break the spell, and the faster I can get Colton back. That our pack can come home again.

I wander down with her, half asleep, fatigue kicking my ass still and we grab a cold quick breakfast in the kitchens as quietly as we can so as not to attract attention and spread the word we are sneaking out.

We didn’t tell the pack we planned on leaving, so as not to cause panic and have the remainder of the pack try and talk us out of going. We are relying on Sierra telling them after we go so no one can hinder our progress. Wolves are naturally protective and when it comes to a Luna, they will hold me against my will for my own safety if they feel it’s needed.

Everyone is on edge and I know the loss of their Luna on top of their alpha’s absence will send them into a frenzy and barricade us from leaving. Wolves need the hierarchy more than is logical sometimes, especially the peaceable land-dwelling type and by going out there, I am abandoning them to their own fate should anything happen to me. They’re going to be unhappy when they know the Rema is now in charge and they have neither Alpha nor Luna in the grounds.

It has to be done. I’m the one with the strongest gifts, and that gives us more chance of doing this without death. And the spell books and the bottle seemed pretty certain I was meant to go with Meadow to see this through, for whatever reason.

I walk slowly into the medi bay when Meadow cuts right to head outside and check the sentinels she left in charge of loading the truck have done what they were asked. They know she’s leaving but they don’t know about me. I am waiting until the last second to go out and jump in the truck with her, besides I still have one task to carry out before we go.

Carmen is standing by the window when I walk in and staring outside at the obvious green mist which is still lingering over the horizon. I can tell by the waves of mood coming her way she already knows what’s happened while she was asleep. She’s quiet, still, somber, and standing upright like that frosty bitch I knew so long ago, only now, I can feel her so much better than I used to, and the sadness is almost suffocating. If I didn’t know her before, and only saw her like this now, I would be moved to pity this vulnerable creature and wonder who had hurt her so deeply.

I clear my throat to get her attention, feeling like I’m invading her space and a little awkward; she snaps around, startled at seeing it’s me and not the doctor, lowering her eyes immediately in submission, knowing her place in our grounds.

“Luna…. I … I’m sorry for….” She begins with a waiver in her voice, her guilt seeping through so that I know what she’s about to say; almost like an overwhelming heavy dampener in the air and I cut her off. She is nothing like the fierce and stubborn girl of yesterday.

“You didn’t do this. She didn’t do this. It would have happened anyway. They were waiting for a time and it was just coincidence.” I try to soothe her, but the lack of change in her tight expression tells me my words are falling on deaf ears and her responsibility in this runs deep. I sigh and try a different approach in a bid to remove that dark shroud of worthlessness which is cloaking her and making me feel all kinds of emotional. “You can look at me, I give you permission. After all, you are one of my sub pack and they’re family. No need for the formalities.” It’s the least I can do, given how awkward it is for her to stare at the ground while I am attempting to comfort her and making a hash job of it.

Her eyes flash up at me, a hint of shock on that normally noble face as she second guesses my words, looks away again and then flickers back at me unsurely. I think she’s trying to figure out if I actually mean it, or if I’m trying to catch her out, but I haven’t got time to waste today.

“Look, I didn’t come here to have a chit chat… I came to ask you something.” My nerves are building, knowing it’s almost time and I sigh and look around the room trying to ground myself and sound stronger than I am at this moment in time. I feel like time is ticking away faster than I can deal with and yet also not. Like wading through sand in terms of how long it’s been since Colton held me.

“Yes, Luna.” She has the sense not to question anyway. I guess she really is trying to step in line with my new role, or that she’s so bogged down in her own grief that all her fight has left her. I’m thinking it’s more that than anything else.

plan, a possible solution to the fog, the spell. I’m sure the doctor has filled you in on yesterday’s events and where we’re at. I want you to come with us, Meadow and I. I think you may be useful, and we need the help while numbers here are not what they were. It’ll be the three of us and only a couple of days away from here in the hopes of finding a solution.” My voice is steady and low,

eyes me up, mistrust all over her face as she thinks something through, and I can almost taste the apprehension coming from her in

ploy. It’s not all about easing her guilt though, it’s

worthiness as a fighter and as we are going without guards, I think three is better than two.” I completely dodge her statement, not willing to confirm that yes, I’m worried her sense of responsibility will have a long-term effect on her and I don’t want to burden Sierra with her in our absence. She is going to have enough to deal with while we are gone and not have to babysit Carmen for fear of another wolf legging it out into

fast. I can break eardrums, glass, sometimes brains….and I want to make up for what my mother did that put us here. I brought her here. I did this. If I kept her at the mountain then … so what I’m saying is, yes. Don’t cotton pad me, I’m capable and I’m willing.” Steel determination, even tone

probably caught the same way. We were

she starts,

because we have a possible fix.” I turn, motioning her to follow me, but she hesitates, and I am forced to pause while she verbalizes whatever the issue

that Sierra is a witch? That Colton’s also a ….” She trails off, her voice weakening to a whisper and she gazes almost through me, caught somewhere in her head, and I realize, despite living with all the exposed secrets all these months and making peace with them, this is all new to her. That months of getting used to

confirming with my serious expression, and her eyes widen on me as she swallows noticeably. A sudden wave of unnatural wariness

a tear rolls down her cheek before she can check it. I falter because I know this reaction well and should have expected it, given what’s happened. The realization that I’m part of the enemy and the people who just ripped her mother to shreds, that I share their blood and stand before her, telling her I’m an ally and not foe. It was hard for me to digest it so many months ago and it took a while for the pack to fully accept it and

few hybrids int the Santos.” I sigh, dodging her obvious issue with this fact, really not wanting to stand and do this now and yet she surprises me with blurting out a

chin to her chest and exhaling painfully as though letting out a long-burdened weight on her body and I wonder if this is the first time she has told anyone those words. I know being Luna means I can somehow charm her pack into confiding deepest secrets, but I truly never thought Carmen would be so willing to share something like this. I know for

because it lives in me too

Flaws from hybrids can be devastating on the abilities most wolves are born with. Any discrepancy or mutation can affect us, like how I can override Colton’s alpha tone even before I was his Luna. Sierra and the Doc found out a lot about this in the years they studied and researched hybrids

none of those things. We don’t choose what we are Carmen, we just live with it, and learn how to use it to our advantage. If you were weak, inferior, Meds wouldn’t have vouched for you as our back up. So pull yourself together, grab whatever you need a for a few days and meet me out front. We need to go and as much as I know

before people wake and we want to be out of here at the break of dawn as the sun peeks to make sure we have maximum time to get where we are going. Safe from vamps, and early enough that maybe the wolves out there will be asleep, wherever they are. I know that even enchanted that they do rest, we saw them trial off as the sun went down to go wherever they were beckoned, and we can only assume it was to sleep. I don’t doubt that even enchanted they need to do the basics of self-care, like eat, rest, use the bathroom. Here’s hoping they all don’t wake at the same

and knowing I need to stay pulled together and strong, or else I’ll break and I’m already emotionally exhausted. I walk off, leaving her there

and it’s covered all over with symbols, spray painted on everything I can see. They are only a shade or two darker than the green military paint so not overly showy, but I know they’re what I saw in the spell book yesterday. I guess Sierra figured this was the best way to cast a protection spell on our vehicle. Keep

feels like it has more importance than it should. Maybe the fates are coercing something once again, but I truly can’t imagine how this circles back to all that’s come before. I push the feeling away and set my eyes

a truck with a protection spell is the best place to sleep. If the runes keep Vamps out here, then it should be the same on this vehicle, so inside we wouldn’t be sitting targets at all. There’s a whole bunch of creates piled and strapped

closes up the back doors and locks them tight, showing more runic symbols painted on them and I run my fingertips over the

not really answering her question when I don’t even know myself. Carmen never gave me

roof. Thinking it will create a bubble, so the fog can’t get in and neither will anyone who’s

sentinel who has been helping her, one I recognize as being called Tom. Someone Colton trusts and speaks highly of, who’s been on sentinel patrol many times. I guess he is sworn to secrecy. He wouldn’t have been part of the search due to labor of his mate yesterday and the arrival of twin puppies last

he points out but Meadow shakes her head, giving off that aura