Rejected Mate and Following Fate

“Are you sure you want to do this” Meadow sidetracks me as I make my way to the podium of our new town hall that was only finished in recent weeks and is three times bigger than the hall of the house. Flanked by two temporary sentinels.

“Yes. They need to know that by this time tomorrow they may not have a Luna, or Alpha, coming back. I need them to be prepared and to know what comes after. I owe them honesty to what’s happening after the patience for the last days.” I thought this through all night, tossing and turning once we set the plan in motion and decided tomorrow at dawn we are to move on the mountain. This will be our last night with the pack and with that fog surrounding us. Last night I watched my mate slide away in the darkness from me for the last time and said my goodbyes, just in case.

Leyanne is certain she can protect us one by one from the effects of the green smog, with the casting of a spell on every wolf that we’ve rallied to fight. She plans on splashing us all with some kind of potion after they all turn, so it’s effects won’t be lost. Minus me. I’m to stay human and there’s not much we can do about that.

Twenty-three of us in total, handpicked from our strongest and have been sworn to secrecy until now. I realized in the night that these men and women shouldn’t have to lie to their mates and loved ones when there’s a chance it’s the last time they might see any of them. I want them to value tonight, cherish each other, and be prepared for what’s coming.

Colton said we would always be honest with the pack and I’m not doing what I agreed if I don’t tell them what’s to come. It’s an oath he swore the night he made me his Luna, and I won’t let him down by breaking his word. They know something is brewing and that we are working on a way to clear the fog; they have waited for news and put so much trust in me, and I’m about to tell them everything.

Sierra is already on the podium waiting for me, after assembling many of the able bodied here and those without children in tow, and it’s weird to see her out among the people in this way. She has spent months in solitude, hiding away and saying she wasn’t ready to be among them again. I guess after leaving her to watch our home for two days she had to force herself out of her comfort zone to face them and hasn’t reverted back to her wing since. She’s been part of every decision and plan, our makeshift task force of women as we agree on the fate of our people. I don’t know what I would have done without her, Meadow, Leyanne, and even Carmen. Who knew that the once proud and arrogant pack of Juan Santo, the most sexist wolf alive, would be held together and run by femmes. There’s poetic justice in that somewhere. Those he considered too weak to ever thwart him, to rule him, and yet it was women who have ruined everything he held aloft. Even now he’s enslaved in fog, much to the thanks of unknown witches.

I step up and smile at her, meeting her eye for a little push of bravado, nerves cloying at my throat as the eyes of dozens and dozens land quietly on me. I inhale to steady the anxiety coursing through my veins, take her hand and gently squeeze it to tell her I’m ready and I’ve got this.

These people rely on me and have done since the fog came and I don’t want to let them down anymore. I feel like I’ve done nothing so far to really help them through this, even if I did go off and bring back a witch.

I clear my throat and step to the microphone that’s been set up to face the bodies crammed in here, catching Meadows eye across to the left and the looking out over the sea of faces slowly. I spot Leyanne and Carmen standing right at the back, on chairs, side by side, so they get an unobstructed view and Carmen gives me a thumbs up, encouraging me in her own weird way. I clear my throat and focus on the faces below me, shivers running through my soul; but I bite down and show them the face of fierce I know I still possess.

“Thank you all for coming here on such short notice. I know not everyone can fit inside, so I ask that you spread this news among your families when I am done, and we share my words so all can hear them clearly.” My hands tremble, exposing the cold fear in my heart, and I grasp the cold metals stand to hide my lack of confidence. So not used to standing up and commanding an audience the way Colton can. Somewhere deep inside, I’m still that orphaned no one that this pack paid no attention too and I feel like a fraud, standing up here in the absence of him, to tell them what to do. “As you know, a little over a week ago a green mist covered our land and took several dozen of our pack with it. Enchanting them in a spell that seems to have turned them mindless and feral. We all know they stalk the border, and the vampires are behind this maneuver, shielded by our own and using them for their own purposes.” There’s a murmur among some of those near the back as people voice suspicions, conspiracies and I even here Juan’s name on the flutter of noise. Sierra claps her hand to bring quiet once more, glaring with a commandeering edge, snatching attention back and they simmer back respectfully. I swallow heavily, take a deep breath and continue.

“I know by now that some of you have learned that I left the homestead for a couple of days, to bring back a witch… Leyanne Cruden…” I nod towards her at the back and there’s a deathly hush as a few eyes turn her away and back again quickly, as no wolf has been brave enough to really look her in the eye since they found out what she was. Some guessed at the arrival of this stranger, but we have never really clarified any of these details and just let rumor spread. Too focused on everything else to open up to them and I feel ashamed that I waited until now.

Wolves still fear witches, even though they accepted Sierra, but seeing what the fog has done, only renewed that terror of their kind. The unrest grows and I taste the wave of increasing anticipation and anxiety among them.

“We brought her back with a plan to break the spell and free our pack, but it’s not as straightforward as we hoped. So this is why I brought you here. To prepare you in case the worst should happen, and our plan should fail.” I inhale heavily, voice beginning to rasp as my emotions get the better of me, my stomach churning my hands trembling, but I know this is the only way and verbalizing it somehow makes it more real. “Tomorrow morning, two dozen of our strongest are planning to mount an attack and head for the mountain. To give the witch access and time to get to the source of the spell, and disable it. She needs to physically get there, and we need to offer distraction to ensure she can. I’m telling you because two dozen us are not five dozen of our warriors, and several dozen vampires we know reside in the mountain. There’s a high chance that some of us may not come back even if we are successful….. I may not come back. I’m weakened by something, and I won’t be able to turn to fight as one of you, but I will still lead the battle. As Luna, my death will be the Alpha’s death and as our pack, I need you to be prepared to carry on without us. The Rema and I are linked, so she too won’t be here to carry on should I fall. In one loss, you would lose all three of us.” the gasps and horror that reverberates through the crowd ring out painfully, suffocating me with their emotions and almost causing my head and chest to explode with the sudden rush. I have to dampen my gift as my heart swells painfully, and my eyes and ears sting with the incoming distraught feelings of many. I step back to give myself a moment to catch my breath as a lone voice calls out boldly.

“The Luna should stay with the people… we need you. Protect the Alpha and Rema by being with us.”

It almost breaks me, but I shake my head and almost cry as the words burn my throat. Knowing that’s the path they would expect, and no one would look down on me for it. I know that it’s not what is needed to be done and the fates brought me here to this for one purpose.

do the same.” The words are killing me as eyes round and faces pale as my words settle in, and I realize tears are starting to roll down my face. The inner heaviness consuming me because on some level, I feel like I’m abandoning my children, and this feels like a goodbye.

the mask he wears so well and shows them an unbreakable face. I’m not him, and I can’t hide what this means for them if I

Luna, for the good of us all.” Another voice calls out and then another with the

means to have a future.” My voice breaks, a burning ache in my throat strangling me as my hormones spiral and I end up wiping my face to try and calm my unstoppable tears. I have no verbal way to express to these people how much I care about them continuing without us, should that be needed. I love all of

male voice echoes my way from the left and I turn to see Tom, the sentinel who helped us leave, stand to voice his own opinion. Keeping his eyes downcast to show me respect but his words are clear. “We protect our Luna in the absence of our Alpha… we stay together, to survive together. That is our nature. Without our Luna, there is no pack. She’s the heart that keeps us as one…. look at the mountain and the years

Alpha. So we can fight to rid ourselves of the vampires, together.” I try to stay firm, push back the feeble

Alpha feel to know that when our Luna needed us, we stayed behind like cowards?” another call out, another male, and I falter as I try to find the new voice in the crowd, beginning to get overwhelmed. I feel like I’m losing control of commanding them, even if their words are

obey me when he’s not here.” I stammer the words, Sierra grasping my hand from behind to support me and I spot Meadow from the corner of my eye, sliding to sit down. She must have stood to come to my aid and quiet those disrespecting me. She should be hushing those calling out, talking out of turn, disobeying my

us up and stood by his side to keep the people safe. You’ve worked to build the school, the village, the security

to stand with me to fight for our pack. I can’t take this, it’s too

of the midwifes, pushing through the crowd towards me and one of the few of our citizens that has the right to look me in the eye.

understand the dangers, the almost certain death for many of them, and it’s as feeble as it sounds. My body vibrating as I cling on to my

some are lost, it’s for the good of the pack.” It’s an elderly wolf, near the last phase of his life cycle. One who has seen many things, endured many battles, many wars, and his soft gaze warms me painfully. “A pack is only a pack when we stand and die together, Luna….. Protecting our previous Luna was denied us and for almost a decade we failed her. We won’t stand back and lose you both and

cover my mouth

people should know that.” Carmen this time, echoes out from the back in that snooty and superior tone which rings true, and I stare at her through watery vision while I

is silent, Sierra too, and the will of the people are deafening me even in their sudden silence. I’m defeated. I can feel the rebellion around me, that despite seeing me rightfully as

in vain. Future is as important as the fights we endure today.” I have no other way to try and persuade them and I’m grasping at straws, wishing to god Colton was here. He would know what to do, what to say, and god, he would alpha tone them if they continued insisting on

me going in the first place. Tears rolling down my face as I scan all the lowered heads and try to blot out the sea of emotions invading me from all sides. I can no longer

die, I’m dead anyway.” Sierra shocks me from behind, her voice stable and strong and a hint of fierce I haven’t heard from her before. I spin on her, instantly aggressive in my refusal, forgetting everything else when my world comes

Colton would never forgive me, I will never forgive me, for putting you in danger….. You stay here. You belong HERE! No way, Sierra, you don’t get to disobey me too. Not on this. Never!” From

hysteria begins to take over. My lungs constrict in panic at the thought of my adopted mom being out there, among that, fighting her own, getting hurt. Even a scratch,

Your gifts are weaker… I can feel it. I know each day they dwindle more, you can’t hide it from me. I can heal you if anything happens, I can be your safety net….. let me be that while my son

the emotions spew out, borne of anxiety, the panic immersing me painfully as Sierra tries and hushes my obvious distress. Pulling me to her warm embrace in a hug, her fingers to my face to softly push my hair back, but I fight to stay locked on her eyes and not back

I am NOT leaving my baby out there any longer in the cold dark world without me. I did that for too long, its time I was his mother and brought him home like I should have

invades the podium and rests a hand on my shoulder, bringing my attention back to the front and the sight almost ends me. Wolves crowding closer, tears in their eyes as they huddle together, holding their loved ones and nodding in agreement. The room crowding as those

and tomorrow we won’t be two dozen running into the forest, we will be hundreds, whether I want it or not. This is no longer something I can control, and the fates are telling me to let it go. This fight isn’t mine alone, and I’m not alone. I haven’t been since the day I bonded to