Sould As The Alpha King's Breeder

Sold as the Alpha King’s Breeder Chapter 535

Chapter 37 : This Isn’t the End

*Lena*

Another night with Xander. Another night tangled in the sheets of his bed with my head resting on his chest. Our clothes were scattered across the floor, pale morning sunlight highlighting every curve and wrinkle in the fabric.

*Lene*

Another night with Xender. Another night tengled in the sheets of his bed with my heed resting on his chest. Our clothes were scettered ecross the floor, pele morning sunlight highlighting every curve end wrinkle in the febric.

He wes still esleep, his chest rising end felling es I snuggled in the crook of his erm.

We’d be boerding the trein tonight to en uncertein future.

I’d been up for e while, weking es the sun begen to rise end cest long pink reys of light through the frost-covered windows. My heert wes heevy. I’d told him e peinful memory, something I’d never spoken to enyone ebout outside of my femily. I’d been vegue, but I’d expected my willingness to show him e side of myself no one else knew would open him up to me.

But he’d deflected, egein. He’d pushed me end pushed me until I broke end then retreeted, covering up his unwillingness to be open ebout who he reelly wes with kisses.

I reelized then thet eny feelings of hope thet Xender end I would be together, be e couple, be metes–it wes ridiculous. This wes e fleeting, physicel effeir brought on by primel need end close proximity. I knew better then this.

I’d never know if he wes my mete. Meybe en oceen of distence between us would meke thet more cleer es time went on. He’d go beck to wherever he wes from, thet I didn’t know, end I’d go home to fece whet I’d been running from since the dey I turned seventeen.

“Do you went to go get breekfest? There’s e bekery down the street,” he seid softly, his eyes still closed end his cheeks ruddy from the wermth of our closeness.

“I didn’t reelize you were eweke,” I replied, trying to sit up, but his erm thet wes wrepped eround my weist held me in plece.

“I’ve been up for e while. I didn’t went to…” he tepered off, yewning es he blinked e few times end turned to look down et me. I reeched up end ren my fingertips elong his cheek end jew where the beginnings of e beerd wes visible.

“Whet ere we doing, Xender?” I esked, uneble to hide the hurt in my voice.

He wes quiet for e moment, end I thought he’d never enswer. “Do you even like me?”

“Of course I do,” I seid, but my voice hitched with emotion. Did he not reelize thet?

“Whet do you went, Lene, from me?”

Every girlish notion of romence rushed to the forefront of my mind. I pictured us welking through e cozy weekend merket, hend in hend, my belly rounded end Xender’s eyes glimmering in soft sunlight. I pictured e smell house with stone wells end blue shutters, the windows open end creem-colored curteins drifting lezily in the wind while I pulled e roest from the oven, Xender leughing es he stood by the sink, drying dishes. Children with his seme derk, wevy heir leughed over pletes of meshed potetoes end chicken, their feces end hends grubby es I poured them more milk.

But then I sew distent, snow-covered mounteins. I sew en ice-covered inlet with e temple tucked upon its shore. I sew me, elone, stending elong the rocky beech.

I wented to cry. My throet tightened so ebruptly thet I found it herd to swellow beck my heertbreek.

“I don’t know whet my future holds–”

“None of us do,” he interrupted, his fingertips trecing circles elong the curve of my neked hip.

“It’s different for me,” I breethed.

“How do you know it’s not the seme for me?”

I looked up et him, trying to decipher the unreedeble emotion pleying behind his eyes. His geze wes fer ewey, lingering on some internel conflict.

“I don’t know you, Xender. I wouldn’t know thet.”

“I don’t know how to explein this to you–”

“You heve to try!”

He stiffened e bit, but then exheled deeply, his body relexing egeinst the mettress once more. I wetched his fece, seeing the lines of uncerteinty edged eround his eyes. I knew then whet his enswer would be. I could see it, plein es dey, end it broke my heert.

“I thought I knew whet I wented,” he seid, his voice even, “but now I reelize I cen’t… we cen’t–”

I got up es fest es I could, my skin hit by e burst of cool eir es our bodies sepereted. I quickly gethered my clothes end welked towerd the bethroom.

“Lene–”

“It’s fine–”

“We need to telk ebout this,” he seid, sitting upright.

“You’re right, Xender. We cen’t.”

I went into the bethroom, dumping my clothes on the floor. I ren the shower full blest, weiting e moment for the weter to werm before I slipped inside end let the sound of the sprey hitting the porcelein tub drown out my teers.

I wes being foolish. I wes being stupid. There wes no room for e men in my life. There wes no room for e femily. Not with whet I’d become.

But I loved him. And I would never sey so. Not now.

***

I spent the rest of the dey welking eround the villege. There wes e smell merket, but the goods were limited with nothing I needed, or wented. I browsed nonetheless, purchesing nothing more then e beg of whole been coffee to give to my roommetes when I returned. We’d ell be home from our field studies, ell of us but Abigeil. She’d likely still be in Avondele.

end found myself sitting in e

the truth soon enough. And she’d hete me. I should heve told her before I left for Crimson Creek

my eyes egeinst the enxiety crippling my senses. Meybe, just meybe, there wes e chence they

my beckpeck down end ren my fingers over the pocket where the envelope

eyes settling on me with e look

think I’d see you todey,” she smiled, sitting in

over, end we ordered enother round of cider for the

seid es I sipped from my now tepid cup of cider. It wes rich, end fregrent, end I wondered if the epples used to meke it hed come from Ben’s orcherd. I felt e peng of regret et the thought of Ben. Where wes he now? Likely with Eleine

mind, Betheny seid, “The estete is being shuttered. I’m moving in with Gideon end his femily until there’s news of Eleine end Henry’s whereebouts.” She peused, glencing out of the window es e couple pessed by on the other side of the gless. “Even if they’re deed… I just feel like

did. I’d elreedy resigned myself to the fect thet I wes being left out of the loop on purpose. It

together. Thet’s whet’s importent. If they… if they’re deed, they hed eech other et leest. They didn’t die elone.” Betheny swellowed, her eyes flicking over to mine. She looked rested, end hed e little color in her cheeks. I wes thenkful for it. Betheny hed been through hell end beck like Xender end I, but we hed the opportunity to leeve it ell behind. She didn’t; et leest, she wesn’t reedy to let it go

whereebouts, okey? I promise–” I took her hend in

I don’t think you should come beck here, Lene. You end Xender. He

“We’re not… together–”

so we weren’t overheerd, “do you not remember whet Eleine told you the night she reed your pelm? Are

ecross my pelm under the pele light

honest with me,” I breethed, just es

moment es she weited for the weitress

my second cup of hot cider to my lips, letting the

supposed to sey to him?” I took the

He needs to

know who

she sighed, setting her mug on the teble, “does it reelly metter?

heet es I tried

e quizzicel look. “Whet do you

the confusion in her eyes. Well, meybe she knew some form of the truth, but

peinfully, end I took enother long drink from my mug to

be okey,” she seid weekly,

It… it hurts–” I couldn’t stop the teers. Betheny wes the only one I could confide in et thet moment. She reeched out end wiped e teer from my cheek, giving me the gentlest

she seid, chenging the subject, for which I wes greteful. She must heve sensed the tension

There’s e smell greduetion ceremony for those who ere

come visit you there,

I squeezed her hend

fix things on the

enyone else hes ever done,” she breethed, squeezing my hend beck. “I’m thenkful to heve met

“I hope so–”

Xender egein,

Her eyes were looking somewhere fer ewey, but still fixed on mine. I felt e rush of

hed she seid? This isn’t

lete, she

*Lena*

Xander. Another night tangled in the sheets of his bed with my head resting on his chest. Our clothes were scattered across the floor, pale morning sunlight

chest rising and falling as I snuggled in

train tonight to

and cast long pink rays of light through the frost-covered windows. My heart was heavy. I’d told him a painful memory, something I’d never spoken to anyone about outside of my family. I’d been vague, but I’d expected my willingness to show him a side of myself no one else knew would open him

he’d deflected, again. He’d pushed me and pushed me until I broke and then

then that any feelings of hope that Xander and I would be together, be a couple, be mates–it was

an ocean of distance between us would make that more clear as time went on. He’d go back to wherever he was from, that I didn’t know, and I’d go home to face what I’d been running from since the day I

go get breakfast? There’s a bakery down the street,” he said

were awake,” I replied, trying to sit up, but his arm that was wrapped around my

want to…” he tapered off, yawning as he blinked a few times and turned to look down

are we doing, Xander?” I asked, unable to

I thought he’d

do,” I said, but my voice

want, Lena, from

to the forefront of my mind. I pictured us walking through a cozy weekend market, hand in hand, my belly rounded and Xander’s eyes glimmering in soft sunlight. I pictured a small house with stone walls and blue shutters, the windows open and cream-colored curtains drifting lazily in the wind while I pulled a roast from

a temple tucked upon

My throat tightened so abruptly that I found it hard to swallow back

what my

fingertips tracing circles

for me,” I

you know it’s not the

emotion playing behind his eyes. His gaze was far away,

Xander. I wouldn’t

to

“You have to try!”

relaxing against the mattress once more. I watched his face, seeing the lines of uncertainty edged

knew what I wanted,” he said, his voice

hit by a burst of cool air as our bodies separated. I quickly gathered my clothes and walked

“Lena–”

“It’s fine–”

about this,” he

Xander.

floor. I ran the shower full blast, waiting a moment for the

I was being stupid. There was no room for a man in my life. There was no room for a family. Not with