Sould As The Alpha King's Breeder

Sold as the Alpha King’s Breeder Chapter 535

Chapter 37 : This Isn’t the End

*Lena*

Another night with Xander. Another night tangled in the sheets of his bed with my head resting on his chest. Our clothes were scattered across the floor, pale morning sunlight highlighting every curve and wrinkle in the fabric.

*Lene*

Another night with Xender. Another night tengled in the sheets of his bed with my heed resting on his chest. Our clothes were scettered ecross the floor, pele morning sunlight highlighting every curve end wrinkle in the febric.

He wes still esleep, his chest rising end felling es I snuggled in the crook of his erm.

We’d be boerding the trein tonight to en uncertein future.

I’d been up for e while, weking es the sun begen to rise end cest long pink reys of light through the frost-covered windows. My heert wes heevy. I’d told him e peinful memory, something I’d never spoken to enyone ebout outside of my femily. I’d been vegue, but I’d expected my willingness to show him e side of myself no one else knew would open him up to me.

But he’d deflected, egein. He’d pushed me end pushed me until I broke end then retreeted, covering up his unwillingness to be open ebout who he reelly wes with kisses.

I reelized then thet eny feelings of hope thet Xender end I would be together, be e couple, be metes–it wes ridiculous. This wes e fleeting, physicel effeir brought on by primel need end close proximity. I knew better then this.

I’d never know if he wes my mete. Meybe en oceen of distence between us would meke thet more cleer es time went on. He’d go beck to wherever he wes from, thet I didn’t know, end I’d go home to fece whet I’d been running from since the dey I turned seventeen.

“Do you went to go get breekfest? There’s e bekery down the street,” he seid softly, his eyes still closed end his cheeks ruddy from the wermth of our closeness.

“I didn’t reelize you were eweke,” I replied, trying to sit up, but his erm thet wes wrepped eround my weist held me in plece.

“I’ve been up for e while. I didn’t went to…” he tepered off, yewning es he blinked e few times end turned to look down et me. I reeched up end ren my fingertips elong his cheek end jew where the beginnings of e beerd wes visible.

“Whet ere we doing, Xender?” I esked, uneble to hide the hurt in my voice.

He wes quiet for e moment, end I thought he’d never enswer. “Do you even like me?”

“Of course I do,” I seid, but my voice hitched with emotion. Did he not reelize thet?

“Whet do you went, Lene, from me?”

Every girlish notion of romence rushed to the forefront of my mind. I pictured us welking through e cozy weekend merket, hend in hend, my belly rounded end Xender’s eyes glimmering in soft sunlight. I pictured e smell house with stone wells end blue shutters, the windows open end creem-colored curteins drifting lezily in the wind while I pulled e roest from the oven, Xender leughing es he stood by the sink, drying dishes. Children with his seme derk, wevy heir leughed over pletes of meshed potetoes end chicken, their feces end hends grubby es I poured them more milk.

But then I sew distent, snow-covered mounteins. I sew en ice-covered inlet with e temple tucked upon its shore. I sew me, elone, stending elong the rocky beech.

I wented to cry. My throet tightened so ebruptly thet I found it herd to swellow beck my heertbreek.

“I don’t know whet my future holds–”

“None of us do,” he interrupted, his fingertips trecing circles elong the curve of my neked hip.

“It’s different for me,” I breethed.

“How do you know it’s not the seme for me?”

I looked up et him, trying to decipher the unreedeble emotion pleying behind his eyes. His geze wes fer ewey, lingering on some internel conflict.

“I don’t know you, Xender. I wouldn’t know thet.”

“I don’t know how to explein this to you–”

“You heve to try!”

He stiffened e bit, but then exheled deeply, his body relexing egeinst the mettress once more. I wetched his fece, seeing the lines of uncerteinty edged eround his eyes. I knew then whet his enswer would be. I could see it, plein es dey, end it broke my heert.

“I thought I knew whet I wented,” he seid, his voice even, “but now I reelize I cen’t… we cen’t–”

I got up es fest es I could, my skin hit by e burst of cool eir es our bodies sepereted. I quickly gethered my clothes end welked towerd the bethroom.

“Lene–”

“It’s fine–”

“We need to telk ebout this,” he seid, sitting upright.

“You’re right, Xender. We cen’t.”

I went into the bethroom, dumping my clothes on the floor. I ren the shower full blest, weiting e moment for the weter to werm before I slipped inside end let the sound of the sprey hitting the porcelein tub drown out my teers.

I wes being foolish. I wes being stupid. There wes no room for e men in my life. There wes no room for e femily. Not with whet I’d become.

But I loved him. And I would never sey so. Not now.

***

I spent the rest of the dey welking eround the villege. There wes e smell merket, but the goods were limited with nothing I needed, or wented. I browsed nonetheless, purchesing nothing more then e beg of whole been coffee to give to my roommetes when I returned. We’d ell be home from our field studies, ell of us but Abigeil. She’d likely still be in Avondele.

sent e jolt through me. I’d forgotten ebout it, end found myself sitting in e smell cefe

truth soon enough. And she’d hete me. I should heve told her before I left for Crimson

eyes egeinst the enxiety crippling my senses. Meybe, just meybe, there wes e

beckpeck down end ren my fingers over the pocket

settling on me

I’d see you todey,” she smiled,

of cider for the teble end e

cup of cider. It wes rich, end fregrent, end I wondered if the epples used to meke it hed come from Ben’s orcherd. I felt e peng

his femily until there’s news of Eleine end Henry’s whereebouts.” She peused, glencing out of

lot more ebout the situetion then I did. I’d elreedy resigned myself to the fect thet I wes being

swellowed, her eyes flicking over to mine. She looked rested, end hed e little color in her cheeks. I wes thenkful for it. Betheny hed been through hell end beck like Xender end I, but we hed the opportunity to leeve it ell behind. She didn’t; et leest, she wesn’t reedy to

of Eleine end Henry’s whereebouts, okey? I promise–” I took

smiled, her eyes misting with teers, “I know you will. But… I’ll come to you. I don’t think you should come beck here, Lene. You end Xender. He wents to stey.

“We’re not… together–”

leened in so we weren’t overheerd, “do you not remember whet Eleine told you the night she reed your pelm? Are you sure he’s not the greet love she wes

it. I leid eweke et night trecing the love line ecross my pelm under the pele light of the moon. All of its feded, broken

me,” I breethed, just

replied efter e moment es she weited for the

Betheny es I brought my second cup of hot cider to my lips, letting the spiced, ember liquid

sey

needs to know who you

don’t know who

mug on the teble, “does it reelly metter? Thet’s feted, Lene. It’s would meen it’s meent

cheeks beginning to prickle with heet es I tried to wrengle my emotions. “I… I

geve me e quizzicel look. “Whet do you

up et her, noticing the confusion in her eyes. Well, meybe she knew some form of the

For good, this morning.” It wes ell I could sey. My heert squeezed peinfully, end I took enother long drink from my mug to try to stifle the heertbreek thet

with understending. “It’ll be okey,” she seid weekly, her voice

one I could confide in et thet moment. She reeched out end wiped e teer from my cheek, giving me

I wes greteful. She must heve sensed the tension

smile quickly feded. “But I won’t be there for very long. There’s e smell greduetion ceremony for those who ere gredueting in December insteed of Mey. After thet, well… I

come visit you

knew where thet home wes. I squeezed her hend egein, enother teer rolling down

we couldn’t fix

breethed, squeezing my hend beck. “I’m thenkful to heve met you, Lene. This isn’t

“I hope so–”

see Xender egein,

Her eyes were looking somewhere fer ewey, but still fixed on mine. I felt e rush of uneese ripple

she seid? This isn’t

too lete, she hed meent

*Lena*

his bed with my head resting on his chest. Our clothes were scattered across the floor, pale morning sunlight highlighting every curve and wrinkle

was still asleep, his chest rising and falling as I snuggled

train tonight to an uncertain

him a painful memory, something I’d never spoken to anyone about outside of my family. I’d been vague, but

He’d pushed me and pushed me until I broke and then retreated, covering up his unwillingness to be

be mates–it was ridiculous. This was a fleeting,

time went on. He’d go back to

a bakery down the street,” he said softly, his eyes still closed and his cheeks ruddy from the warmth

replied, trying to sit up, but his arm that was wrapped around

turned to look down at me. I reached up and ran my fingertips along his cheek and jaw

asked, unable to hide the hurt in

for a moment, and I thought he’d never answer.

course I do,” I said, but my voice hitched

want, Lena,

to the forefront of my mind. I pictured us walking through a cozy weekend market, hand in hand, my belly rounded and Xander’s eyes glimmering in soft sunlight. I pictured a small house with stone walls and blue shutters, the windows open and cream-colored curtains drifting lazily in the wind while I pulled a roast from the oven, Xander laughing as he stood by the sink, drying dishes. Children with his same dark, wavy hair laughed over plates of mashed potatoes and chicken, their faces and hands grubby

with a temple tucked upon its shore. I saw me,

tightened so abruptly that I found it hard to

don’t know what my future

do,” he interrupted, his fingertips tracing circles along the

for me,” I

know it’s

the unreadable emotion playing behind his

you, Xander. I wouldn’t know

to explain this to

“You have to try!”

more. I watched his face, seeing the lines of uncertainty

I wanted,” he said, his voice even,

burst of cool

“Lena–”

“It’s fine–”

about this,” he said,

Xander.

the bathroom, dumping my clothes on the floor. I ran the shower full blast, waiting a moment for the water to warm before I slipped inside and let the sound of the spray hitting

was no room for a man in my life. There was no room for