Teacher's Girl (Aflyingwhale)

IAN’s POV : 

Fucking bullshit! I got in a car as fast as I could and drove until the bridge when I stopped myself.

She didn’t want me to come.

She wanted some space.

Punching the steering wheel in anger, I turned the car around and drove back.

We are ninety miles apart.

How much more space does she want? I didn’t understand this at all.

She chose to talk about big life decisions with that Tristan guy over me, her own fiancée.

What the hell? "I didn’t wanna tell you until I'm ready because I know you're gonna make my decisions for me,"

Her words were stinging in my ear.

What did that even mean? Was she saying that I was controlling? I tried to call her again, but her phone was off.

And even if she picked up the phone, I didn’t know what I would say to her.

She asked for space to think, goddamnit, why can't I be a mature person and give it to her? Suddenly, my phone started buzzing and I picked it up immediately.

My heart was racing at the thought that Emma was calling me back, maybe she was changing her mind? "Emma?!"

I said to the phone without even checking it.

"Hey, no it’s me, Ally,"the voice on the other line said.

"Oh,"I sighed as my shoulders slumped down in disappointment, "What's up, Al?"

"Where are you right now?"

"In the car,"

"Where are you going?"

"Nowhere,"

I said simply.

"Oh...okay...well, I have some things I wanna discuss regarding the grand opening day.I was gonna see if I can come over to your place to talk about it, but it sounds like you're busy, so..."

"No, I can talk.I'll come to your place.I'm not far,"

"Really? Okay then.I'll see you in a bit,"

Turning off the call, I made a quick U-turn and drove towards Ally’s.

If I went home right now, I would just keep kicking myself in the head and replaying all the words Emma said to me.

That wasn't gonna do me any good.

I decided to give Emma her space and I would try her again tomorrow.

As of right now, I wanted to think about something else other than the looming space between Emma and I.

Going over to Ally’s and talking about work seemed like a better idea I reached Ally’s apartment within minutes.

Beaming with excitement, she opened the door for me and led us to the living room.

As much as I wanted to act like everything was okay, all I could muster was a half smile.

"So, listen, I wanna go through the guest list with you,"

Ally said as soon as we sat on the couch.

On the coffee table was a stack of papers and invitations to our gallery's grand opening.

"Our capacity is at 140 people.I know you said you don’t want more than 20 reporters, but I think we should have more.

There are at least 30 important media people from all the five boroughs,"

Ally was going on and on about the guest list and invites.

I nodded along like I was listening, but only half of me was there in that room.

The other half was still thinking about Emma and if I should have done something or said something else.

"What’s going on, lan? What’s on your mind?"

Ally said suddenly, pulling me out of my train of thought.

"Huh?"

"You can barely focus.Tell me, what’s wrong?"

"It's nothing,"

the guest list on the table,

Emma, isn’t

Ally pressed on.

when you thought I was her calling

well...things are just shit

and threw the guest list back on

didn’t say

knowingly and stood

walked towards a cabinet and pulled out a bottle of whiskey and

old single malt scotch.My

you could use some of

thought you don't

for me,"she poured a generous amount into

it from her

Ally made a deal with me not to drink

spent weeks in the hospital

now, I was so proud

 "Thanks,"

let the fiery warm liquid enter my system.It was exactly what I

"Whoa, slow down,"

as she watched me downed the entire thing all at

on the table and let out a

her glass and she took a sip of her own drink before pouring another generous amount of

paradise?"she said as she played with the drink

thought you two

with long distance.We don't talk as much anymore.I feel like I’m losing her.And the harder I try to grasp, the more she’s slipping away from me," the alcohol

not ready for

sighed and stared at the bottom

It was empty again.

way mature.I’m the problem

"What do you mean?"

  "She’s always growing and becoming more and I'm

be true, can

"I don't know,"

have you been

"For a while,"

you never told

my head and took another

a relationship.I wasn't completely honest with Richard and that’s the thing

not being man enough, but please

sound? I don’t wanna be that

told me

honest, you

I was afraid I'd

like her, not in a

I admitted.

"That's not true,"Ally said.

there’s plenty of other guys that are

talking about, lan.You're a great guy.She’s lucky to have you

knee in a comforting manner, but I shook my head

know the

because you never told me

me plenty of times about Emma, but I couldn't tell her much.I could never tell

basically, I

was only in high school when

she was that young, but the moment I laid eyes on

would be into

young and

was selfish and

took her to the back alley and fiicked her next to a

of mine, instead of running for

sick son of a

was young and impressionable.I was supposed to be the

all the rules, I

stopped.I had my grip so tight around her, she was willing to do

raped by a

up on her

the balls to end things and let her move on with her life, I had to come back in and forced myself into her life

because I couldn't control

convinced that I

go to church when I was

would recite ‘love is

my love this unkind? My love for her was nowhere near

proud

she

I was suffocating her.

having

my hand and realized it