Teacher's Girl (Aflyingwhale)

IAN’s POV : 

Fucking bullshit! I got in a car as fast as I could and drove until the bridge when I stopped myself.

She didn’t want me to come.

She wanted some space.

Punching the steering wheel in anger, I turned the car around and drove back.

We are ninety miles apart.

How much more space does she want? I didn’t understand this at all.

She chose to talk about big life decisions with that Tristan guy over me, her own fiancée.

What the hell? "I didn’t wanna tell you until I'm ready because I know you're gonna make my decisions for me,"

Her words were stinging in my ear.

What did that even mean? Was she saying that I was controlling? I tried to call her again, but her phone was off.

And even if she picked up the phone, I didn’t know what I would say to her.

She asked for space to think, goddamnit, why can't I be a mature person and give it to her? Suddenly, my phone started buzzing and I picked it up immediately.

My heart was racing at the thought that Emma was calling me back, maybe she was changing her mind? "Emma?!"

I said to the phone without even checking it.

"Hey, no it’s me, Ally,"the voice on the other line said.

"Oh,"I sighed as my shoulders slumped down in disappointment, "What's up, Al?"

"Where are you right now?"

"In the car,"

"Where are you going?"

"Nowhere,"

I said simply.

"Oh...okay...well, I have some things I wanna discuss regarding the grand opening day.I was gonna see if I can come over to your place to talk about it, but it sounds like you're busy, so..."

"No, I can talk.I'll come to your place.I'm not far,"

"Really? Okay then.I'll see you in a bit,"

Turning off the call, I made a quick U-turn and drove towards Ally’s.

If I went home right now, I would just keep kicking myself in the head and replaying all the words Emma said to me.

That wasn't gonna do me any good.

I decided to give Emma her space and I would try her again tomorrow.

As of right now, I wanted to think about something else other than the looming space between Emma and I.

Going over to Ally’s and talking about work seemed like a better idea I reached Ally’s apartment within minutes.

Beaming with excitement, she opened the door for me and led us to the living room.

As much as I wanted to act like everything was okay, all I could muster was a half smile.

"So, listen, I wanna go through the guest list with you,"

Ally said as soon as we sat on the couch.

On the coffee table was a stack of papers and invitations to our gallery's grand opening.

"Our capacity is at 140 people.I know you said you don’t want more than 20 reporters, but I think we should have more.

There are at least 30 important media people from all the five boroughs,"

Ally was going on and on about the guest list and invites.

I nodded along like I was listening, but only half of me was there in that room.

The other half was still thinking about Emma and if I should have done something or said something else.

"What’s going on, lan? What’s on your mind?"

Ally said suddenly, pulling me out of my train of thought.

"Huh?"

"You can barely focus.Tell me, what’s wrong?"

"It's nothing,"

list on the table, "So we're

about Emma, isn’t

Ally pressed on.

thought I was

well...things are just shit right

the guest list

say a

me knowingly and stood up to her

a cabinet and pulled out a

was a Macallan 25 year old single

you could use some of this,"she

you don't

poured a generous amount into one glass

took it

too much and blacking out for days, Ally made

spent weeks in the hospital trying

now,

 "Thanks,"

fiery warm liquid

"Whoa, slow down,"

she watched me downed the

the empty glass down on the table

poured some water into her glass and she took a sip of her own drink before pouring another generous amount of scotch

paradise?"she said as she played with

thought you two

I’m losing her.And the harder I try to grasp, the more she’s slipping away from me," the alcohol in

lan.Maybe she’s not ready

sighed and stared at the bottom of my

It was empty again.

she’s way mature.I’m the

"What do you mean?"

"She’s always growing and becoming more and I'm afraid I've passed my prime.I think I’m not enough

be true,

"I don't know,"

have you

"For a while,"

never

shook my head and took another big

communication is the key to a relationship.I wasn't completely honest with Richard and

am I supposed to tell her, Al? Sorry for not being man enough, but please be with me anyway?" I

would that sound? I don’t wanna

told me earlier? She said I

to be honest,

because I

deserve a girl like her,

I admitted.

"That's not true,"Ally said.

out into the world and see there’s plenty of other guys that are better than me...why would a girl like her

about, lan.You're a great

on my knee in a comforting manner, but I shook my head

don’t know the whole

never told me the whole

about Emma, but I couldn't tell her

basically, I was

was only in high school when

moment I laid eyes on her at that bar, I knew

be into guys like me,

was young

was selfish and

her to the back alley and fiicked her next to

student of mine, instead of running

was a sick son

supposed to be the mature adult, but I couldn't

all the rules, I took

so tight around her, she was willing to do anything for

almost raped by a dude because of

almost gave up on

on with her life, I had to come back

I

convinced that I

to go to church when I

‘love

why was my love this unkind? My love for her

was proud

she

I was suffocating her.

thoughts you're having

my hand