I woke around eleven.

My body was still on fire. I couldn't stop thinking about him. His hands all over me, his lips against my neck. I wanted to scream at him. He did this to me, he was making me feel like this and giving me nothing.

I wanted to cry.

I was sexually frustrated and pissed off at the same time. How did he think doing that to me was fair? He told me with everyday that passes the bond will become stronger. How long was I going to feel like this?

I didn't know how much more I could take. I had never felt like this with anyone. I've only ever had one sexual partner, one boyfriend and yet I was ready to strip naked and let him have his way with me.

I wanted that, I still do.

Grabbing my pillow I screamed into it. What was happening to me? What was he doing to me? Pushing the covers off I got out of bed checking my phone. Alanna had messaged me a few hours ago.

'Hey, are you okay? Want to come over? Or I can come to you. I have lots of snacks :) and I have booze if you fancy it? Schools are shut until this is over.Ax'

I didn't know if I could handle the company right now but it did beat being on my own. I didn't need for Jake to come back here. He couldn't come back here when I was like this. I didn't even know what was happening to me.

'I'm good! Maybe come over in a little while. I'm not long up and it's way to early to drink lol but I could use the company :)'

After showering and changing into fresh clothes I was sat at my kitchen island trying to think of something other than sex and Jake or sex with Jake.

My gran kept to her word and was sending me messages every few hours. I was glad she wasn't here, she would know straight away that something was wrong.

I had no way to burn my energy. I would usually run to get all my frustration out but I couldn't go outside in that weather. Opening the fridge door my stomach dropped. I ruined the chicken last night and all I could see were some eggs and turkey. What I would do for a muffin and a cappuccino right about now. Taking the last two egg out the holder I placed them on the island and shut the door. Checking to see if we had bread I cursed when I heard it.

Looking at the mess on the floor I cried out in frustration. Was anything else going to go wrong today? I didn't know why I was getting upset over broken eggs.

"This was his fault". I groaned wiping at my eyes. I couldn't function because of him. Lifting my phone I opened up a new message.

Hey, I don't really have any food here. Is there any chance you could bring me something over?! Sorry to ask but I'm starving lol x'

I knew Alanna would pull through she always did. I also had no idea why it was okay for them to be out in that and not me.

Every little thing was getting to me. I couldn't leave my house, I couldn't drive because of my hand. I couldn't have sex because he wouldn't allow it.

"I wasn't ready". Huffing I balled my hand into a fist. How could he say I wasn't ready, he didn't know me. My frustration was turning to anger. I was angry at him, I was angry at the way he just left. I wanted him to touch me, god I wanted to touch him.

But no the big bad wolf says I'm not ready.

"Whatever". I sighed.

I was angry, frustrated and tired. I needed coffee and something in my belly. Going about the kitchen I made myself a coffee.

I was sat to wrapped up in my own thoughts that I didn't hear her come in.

"I brought some goodies". She grinned placing the bag on the counter. "You okay?". She asked.

No I wasn't okay and you're brothers to blame. That's what I wanted to say but I didn't want to get into it with her.

"I'm okay and thank you for this".

"My moms been cooking since sunrise". She sighed rolling her eyes. "Looking after everyone like always". Yeah that sounded like Charlotte. She treated everyone like her own. Taking off her wet coat she hung it on the door.

fixed the

it your gran

letting anyone in

come stay with me until it's over". She

right now. Not when I couldn't control what I was feeling. Not

whispered causing

groaned. I felt like a dog in heat. I wanted to be with him, I wanted to feel the closeness. The tingling sensation in the pit of my stomach was

going to get worse".

I wanted to hear. "My body is on fire Alanna. I

laughed and that only pissed

do or how to control it. I wanted to claw

Leah I'm not laughing because you're like this I'm laughing

just as

is it so intense right now. We've spent time together before

it's not going to go away, if anything

about. "Why did he do this

live in

a stupid world". Squeezing my legs together I sighed at the little bit of

through this. I know you

"I-I need-...".

she placed her hand on top of mine but I pulled

She made a face.

what is

you the discomfort you'll feel to the slightest touch

hands. "How many days will

a time spam Leah. It's nature let

like this because I'm not like him?". The coolness of the counter

my head up I glared. It wasn't beautiful, it was anything but beautiful. My emotions were running high and I didn't know if I wanted to burst out crying or punch

feet. I needed to cool off. I had to find a way to try and settle the burning inside. Unlocking my back door I pulled it

"Leah it's pouring rain".

I breathed deeply. It wasn't shifting the pain but it was easing it, it was calming. I wonder if the rain against my skin would feel better. Glancing at Alanna I shrugged my shoulders before I ripped the T-shirt from

"Leah don't that's-..."

my jeans I stepped outside. I didn't care that I was only in my underwear.

This helped.

catch a cold".

The burning dimmed, the tingling easing. Walking further into my back yard I felt the

inside".

body, the rain soaking my skin. This was crazy, I was crazy but I didn't care. If

back up the yard and through the back

me, no one could touch me. Handing me a towel I glared at her

was stupid". She hissed. "It's torrential rain outside and you thought

snapped wrapping the towel

was stupid. Could have just took

to go back outside. I was on edge, my body felt like it was shaking from the

to dry off. Your

shoulders I lifted my plate emptying what I had left into

will get easier

"When?".

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