Chapter 17

I started the next morning with a big smile on my face. Last night had been so much fun, laughing and joking with my brother, actually reminiscing about mum without him getting angry at me. I get dressed and rush downstairs, stopping in my tracks as I spot my father waiting for me. I glance upwards hoping to see Damien but there’s no sign of him and I hesitate, wondering if I should call out for help. But it was also possible that Damien had left for school already, in which case, I was on my own anyway.

My father’s beady little eyes rest on me and I flinch, smelling his breath and the beer from here. It’s repulsive,

almost as though he’s bathed in it. I stop on the steps, too frightened to make a move, but to my surprise, my father gives me a smile that instantly makes me suspicious. Why was he suddenly in a good mood? Had he maybe gotten another job already? Normally it took him weeks though. Even then, he never smiled at me. My stomach churns with dread.

“Winter” my father says heartily, and I eye him suspiciously.

“Yes” I say quietly, my feet still firmly rooted to the ground, my body beginning to tremble in fear. Something was.

He was acting too strange for my liking.

“You look pale” he says, and I place a hand on my cheek. It’s true that I’m pale, but then, other than walking to school and back, I don’t really see much sunlight. So being pale was normal for me, not that he’d notice, of course. Or it could be because it felt like all the blood had drained out of my face the second I saw he was home.

He comes closer and I instinctively flinch, raising my arm as though to shield off a hit that I suspect is coming.

Instead, nothing happens and I place my arm back down, to see a wounded expression on my father’s face.

“I wasn’t going to hurt you” he says quietly, and I want so badly to believe him, but nothing on this god-green

get me to believe my asshole of a father. Instead, all I can wonder is what he wants. He’s never acted this civil

I exhale, cautiously moving one foot in front

the foot of the stairs, my heart thudding loudly and quickly in my chest. I

my father says and I almost gag as I smelled his breath, saying nothing

he places his hands on my shoulders and forces me

make us some toast” he says jovially “coffee?” he asks, and I’m stunned. Had father had a change of mind and decided he was going to stop abusing me? What had brought this on? Was

he nods, brusquely making one up as I stare down at the table. I feel uncomfortable, awkward even. This is the most I’ve ever spoken to him in who knows how long and I’m not quite sure what to

the toast and coffee in front of me, I inhale deeply, appreciating the strong aroma, giving father a tentative smile as he joins

butter on it but he’d cut it into triangles, the way I’d liked to eat it when mother was still alive.

day of school in my life. Not only that, but I felt fine, I wasn’t sick

thickly, taking a sip of my coffee “I can’t afford to miss any classes” I add and tense waiting for him to

or was father looking slightly fuzzy? I shake my head, putting

feeling relaxed. My father looks calm. “I’m afraid the school isn’t expecting

head “I’ve already called to advise them your sick and

I say

needed elsewhere” he says quietly and my jaw drops open. I make an attempt to stand but it’s

I stare at my father, realizing that he’s laced my drink with some sort

my body sliding

trust my father for a moment. I should have instantly known

had he

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