I don’t know what his business entails when he’s not and I would rather never find out, to be honest. Seeing glimpses of some of the men he deals with and knowing he never has his phone away from him at all hours, day or night, has given me a rough idea that his empire and responsibilities are huge.

He carries a lot while still maintaining a dominant stance and unbreakable demeanour to his enemies all around, while they play nice to his face. No wonder he is such a psycho.

I wouldn’t last five minutes doing what he does; it’s why he’s so good at manipulation and coercing people and situations. I can see why he is what he is, but it doesn’t make me forgive him in any way or swallow it any better. He’s cold because he is immune to suffering and death. He has probably killed his fair share of people in the last nineteen years since he first pulled that trigger, and I don’t doubt with every single one he lost a little bit of his humanity.

I could never do it, never pull a trigger and take a life no matter how much I hate some people. It’s not in me and I don’t think I could live with the images playing in my head after.

He keeps people at a distance, except his blood of course, they are all close-knit and compact as one fluid unit. That much was obvious in the interaction with Mico and Arrick. The Carreros are a family who stay close, trust one another and have each other’s back. He cares about them, they care about each other and if you are lucky enough to be one of his family, like Sophie, then he makes sure nothing ever happens to you.

Alexi moves mountains for the people he loves, and despite his cold bastard nature, I think he does and is capable of love. He knows how to care and nurture he just chooses not to. Not when it comes to women he fucks anyway.

That kind of love is something he is not open to at all. Alexi is a protector for the ones he allows himself to care for, and I am just an outsider looking in who never even scraped the surface of his armour. It’s depressing knowing no matter what I try and tell myself, he doesn’t care about me even a little bit.

‘’Good, you’re up. Here.’’ Alexi’s voice from behind startles me and I jump as I turn to him and try to regain my composure fast, to not show he’s rattled me. I wasn’t expecting him to break the silent treatment so soon. He looks completely deadpan this morning, no hint of anything under the surface just cool, controlled and groomed to perfection in a light shirt and chinos. He holds out a clipboard to me and I take it gracefully, eyes scanning the first page which is a list of tonight’s guests.

Trying to ignore my physical reaction and keep myself together. Trying not to show him he makes me jumpy, nervy and just fall to bits when he gets too close. It’s like his presence makes me forget everything else and we seem to just start from the here and now. It’s creepy and uncanny, I am not sure I like the ability to sweep it all away and act like mature adults in the new light of day. Not after all he has done.

chin down and scan the paperwork in

precedence over my fragile emotions,

beautifully into the pristine power palace it is … no one gets to fuck with that. I missed this place like crazy when he sent

so we can

yet. I have yet to see the bitch he has put in my place in both this club and his bed. I try to focus on what

him get to you Camilla, he knows

façade firmly in place, making sure I show no interest at

rota, my way of

to shadow him. His party is four men so that bumps up the numbers.’’ I scan the list and see a Robert Mercurio tagged as CEO of some business name that rings a bell. I think it’s something to

blow all night and extra special sucking up to him

make a mental note to scan the member profiles and memorise his face for arrival, so I can greet

VIP lounge and close it off so no one can stray up there without an access card. They want privacy.’’ Alexi

coming by to see what I have built here. I trust their counsel and I respect their opinions, both still have a hand in our family’s responsibilities so I want them treated as such. They are meeting some business acquaintances that are booked in here, so mostly I want

nod, completely intrigued that I am about to meet two of his peers who are not only important to him but direct blood links. His father, the man who moulded him, and I have heard Giovanni mentioned by Mico before, the uncle who plays a

no girls?’’ I repeat

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