“Emma! My little girl.” She releases Sophie’s hand and reaches out to me, her other one bound in a cast and strapped to her chest. I hesitate, straighten my tailored pants, and blouse and walk toward her dutifully, bracing myself so that I stay calm and in control.

“Mother.” I take her hand; it’s cold and smooth but feels like skin and bone and it angers me. She’s obviously not eating properly again, so caught up in another affair of the heart, bogged down with infatuation. She was always good at ignoring her own basic needs when wrapped up in another unhealthy relationship.

“It’s so good to see you … You came home to Chicago for me!” her voice is soft and injured causing the reaction to catch in my throat. Guilt, tears, anger, a chaos of emotions, and I can’t look at her in the face, already uncomfortable holding her hand. I glare out the side window over the buildings in Chicago and the dull weather outside, trying to remain impassive. Trying to steel against all that she makes me feel. I want her to cut the crap with the over sentimental greeting, it’s obviously purely for Sophie’s benefit.

“What have you told the police?” I smart. I don’t want to do this tear-jerking deep conversation crap with her. I just want to make sure she’s okay, that she’s healing, then I want to get the hell out of this place. As soon as earthly possible.

“Emma, please? You know it’s never that straightforward,” she whines, and I bristle and drop her hand coldly. My face snapping around to lock eyes with her in impulsive rage. Same old familiar conversation.

“You’re kidding me, right?” I snort in disbelief, spinning my body around to match my glare.

“You have no idea, Emma, you don’t know what happened.” Her voice seems suddenly stronger, losing all ounce of vulnerability now that I’m peeking anger at her.

“I don’t need to, it never changes. Who was it this time? Another five-minute romance or is this someone longer term? How often has this one hit you huh?” I snap; my temper getting the better of me and Sophie moves off to sit in the corner. She looks uncomfortable and wide-eyed and it makes me all the more guilty. She doesn’t need to see all this.

“That is none of your concern! This is my life and affects only me!” My mother snaps back at me, yanking her hand back to her chest in anger. Not so frail now.

It affects all of us!” The tears blind me, and I start losing it. Bubbling up inside. I storm away, wrapping my arms around

pathetic cringey voice, the same pathetic excuses as she drops the attitude and goes on in full blown victim mode. There will

or the heart break. My mother is once again ripping out my very

might have knocked some actual sense into you. I’m taking Sophie to New York with me, away from this bullshit existence that you inflicted on me … Don’t even begin to argue.” I swing back around at her, my eyes pouring pitifully; she looks shocked at my obvious distress. She has never seen me cry, not since I was a very small child. “You’ve no idea the chaos that you cause … “This …” I gesture across her body and injuries. “Is only the tip of the iceberg, Mother! I won’t let you subject Sophie to more of the same crap.” I can’t say anything

stay and endure

my hands, shaking and sobbing. The driver that Jake hired standing

was stupid to come here! I was a fool to think I could handle this. She will never change. She will never see that she’s the one who brings this on. She chooses these men, then makes goddamn excuses for

much longer; she won’t talk to the police, even

a heartbeat, until the next time when she ends up back here and then? Maybe one day one of

trauma to cope with. My defense mechanism kicking in and numbing it all away, pushing it down

all back in and focus instead on getting the hell away from

Jake, instantly bringing softness to my face and a lift in my mood. He always

sent you

Give Me A

listening to the song, trying to decipher the meaning for sending it and can’t. I glance at the time of the email and realize he sent it at four in the morning, most likely when he was out with Daniel. This was instead of a

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