What the hell? Where did that come from?
“Being closed out.” He has a hint of humor in his eye, but I know he’s being serious, sardonic, and not in a friendly way. I frown at him and go back to my sight-seeing, confused at his manner. Trying hard not to rise to it and inwardly churning up with anxiety.
“What does it take, Emma?” That edgy tone in his voice betrays a bad mood looming up.
Why today?
I curse inwardly. Jake’s negatives moods are the worst thing ever; maybe he’s hungover and obviously still tired. He shifts gear as we round a rather craggy coastal road; his focus on the road, his brows furrowed, and a tightness to his jaw that screams of tension.
“Jake, please … What are you talking about?” I squirm in my seat and adjust my clothes to distract the awkwardness in my pose.
How have I closed him out? He’s seen more of me, knows more of me, than anyone on the planet, does he not see that?
“You’re not even going to mention last night? Is that another conversation over?” he snaps this time and I bristle.
“You didn’t mention it either.” I spit, a little too aggressively. Riled by the up by this attack; it’s like he’s getting his period.
“I was waiting to see if you would.” Eyes cool green and face tense, he’s in difficult and stubborn mode.
Great!
“Why?” I snap, but he just shrugs again.
Oh my god.
sure, and he’s being crabby as hell. I don’t want to fight, I
plead, trying to make him
square one.” The sarcasm thick in
to mean?” I turn to
hint of letting go, you snap right back in and shut the door. No conversation. No acknowledgment of it, just wham. Over!” He barks at me, all hope of not fighting out the window and my
I’m not letting myself go? That’s being closed off?” I turn away,
is it
afterwards, Emma.” His voice is laced with venom, anger seething from every pore, his body tense. I stay silent, anger prickling
being stupid, anyone can make a
being an asshole and
away from him, trying to fully face out of the side window. I’m thrust forward as he slams on
What the hell?
the side of the road, out of the non-existent traffic. He unbuckles and gets out of the car and stalks off toward the side of the high edged road, overlooking the vast drop off the
I do? What the actual
I feel sick, unbearably emotional and I reel it
not looking at me and he doesn’t try to put his belt
he reacting this
head sometimes as I watch him warily, every nerve
you to stay in full control … Never letting anyone in, never letting yourself enjoy anything, and letting your guard down. Always keeping me at arm’s length.” His voice is
do enjoy things in my life, he has
Tired, grumpy, bossy, happy, PMSing like fuck.” He’s calmer, but his voice is still strained, that edge to his tone. I sit stiffly, focused on his hands gripping and un-gripping the
eyes at me, and I spin away, hating that
want everyone to see that. You don’t need anyone … But it’s not who you are …
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