What the hell? Where did that come from?
“Being closed out.” He has a hint of humor in his eye, but I know he’s being serious, sardonic, and not in a friendly way. I frown at him and go back to my sight-seeing, confused at his manner. Trying hard not to rise to it and inwardly churning up with anxiety.
“What does it take, Emma?” That edgy tone in his voice betrays a bad mood looming up.
Why today?
I curse inwardly. Jake’s negatives moods are the worst thing ever; maybe he’s hungover and obviously still tired. He shifts gear as we round a rather craggy coastal road; his focus on the road, his brows furrowed, and a tightness to his jaw that screams of tension.
“Jake, please … What are you talking about?” I squirm in my seat and adjust my clothes to distract the awkwardness in my pose.
How have I closed him out? He’s seen more of me, knows more of me, than anyone on the planet, does he not see that?
“You’re not even going to mention last night? Is that another conversation over?” he snaps this time and I bristle.
“You didn’t mention it either.” I spit, a little too aggressively. Riled by the up by this attack; it’s like he’s getting his period.
“I was waiting to see if you would.” Eyes cool green and face tense, he’s in difficult and stubborn mode.
Great!
“Why?” I snap, but he just shrugs again.
Oh my god.
I don’t want to fight, I want to go back to playful, fun Jake. This is not the little outing I was
It shouldn’t have happened; we crossed a line.” I plead, trying to make him see sense, trying to stop this fiery conversation and get back to something
back to square one.” The sarcasm thick in his tone.
supposed to mean?” I turn
the door. No conversation. No acknowledgment of it, just wham. Over!” He barks at me, all hope of not fighting out the window and my
I won’t sleep with my boss? I’m not letting myself go? That’s
you, Carrero. Why is it always about
issue … It’s the afterwards, Emma.” His voice is laced with venom, anger
drunk … being stupid, anyone can make
being an asshole and ruining
the side window. I’m thrust forward as he slams on the brakes and
What the hell?
traffic. He unbuckles
the actual hell? Where did
never actually been the focus of this version of angry Jake, not like this, not with this kind of rage. I feel sick, unbearably emotional and I reel it back in, taking deep heavy breaths, trying to still my hands.
back to the car and slides in stiffly; he’s making me jumpy and nervy. He’s not looking at me and he doesn’t try to put his belt back on. I
he reacting this
sometimes as I watch him warily, every nerve ending in my body on
the wheel, but he doesn’t start the car. “It’s about this eternal need in you to stay in full control … Never letting anyone in, never letting yourself enjoy anything, and letting your guard down. Always keeping me at arm’s length.” His
things in my life, he has no idea. He’s
you for months now, I’ve seen just about every version of you there is … Tired, grumpy, bossy, happy, PMSing like fuck.” He’s calmer, but his voice is still strained, that edge to his tone. I sit stiffly,
briefly.” He flicks his eyes at me, and I spin away, hating that
to see that. You don’t need anyone … But it’s not who you are …
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