I punch it in quickly before I change my mind and scan a list of names. Marissa is near the top; he’s been texting her recently.

What am I doing?

I notice a couple of other female names and feel instantly sick.

Why am I doing this?

I hesitate again and click Marissa’s name … The last text is from her to him. I pale as I scan it, knowing how stupid this is, but now I can’t unsee it.

I still love you Jake … We can make this work, I’m so glad this happened between us, a new beginning. xxx

It’s from two days ago and I feel physically nauseous. I close the screen, my hands shaking, and I slide it back on the desk. My breath instantly labored and my heart is fluttering.

Shit. I shouldn’t have looked; I shouldn’t have pried.

He’s sleeping with Marissa again. The tone suggests she was a past conquest. Maybe more.

The thought bothers me so much more than red head, or any other female I’ve ever known him with. Although that didn’t sound like nothing … That sounds like more than just sex. She told him she loves him … Jake never does love, he moves on quickly, so it never gets to that point.

How long has he been seeing Marissa, for love to be involved? Was that why she was being that way on the boat? Was he seeing her even then, behind Richard’s back? Even while kissing me?

I rub my face and realize my cheeks are flaming. I’m dizzy and sick. I shouldn’t have done that. I need to eat … Maybe it will make me feel less faint. I’m hot, stifling; maybe I need a glass of water. All I know is that I am out of sorts and the room is claustrophobic so suddenly. I get up to move from the table and the swirling dizziness hits me out of nowhere.

Shit.

I reach out to grab the table and miss.

* * *

comes at me from far away. I flutter my eyes open and realize

What the hell?

holding my skull up with one hand and pulls me slowly to sit, a hand sliding behind my back

floor of the office I was in, my head still spinning, and the scratchy carpet is irritating my skin.

childlike, trying to make excuses. I feel so odd. Like this is all some weird dream. I don’t think I’ve ever fainted before and

my face with a scrutinizing frown, not giving me any room

I answer weakly, confused by what’s going on, I don’t remember even falling. I don’t feel so good, I’m shaking inside and it’s spreading to my hands. Someone

face and adding to my wooziness; this is so embarrassing. He’s still holding me like fine China and I’m conscious of the many faces and quiet whispers all around,

to look at you.” Jake is oblivious to anything but the

too. “I’m just too hot,” I stammer as he leans forward and starts unbuttoning my jacket

head is starting to pass. I notice there’s still an audience and frown, he follows my gaze

few minutes … Give her some space,” he commands. There’s a mutter of chatter and they all file back through to the other room. Except it’s a glass wall and I’m aware of

the building hears how Carrero’s PA

can get up.” I try,

He’s trying to make me sip again, but I take the glass from him and drink

scare, shorty.” He

well, he’s still

he frowns at me, but says nothing. “I can get up, I feel better.” He watches me intently for a second then moves to pull me with him. He keeps his hands on my hips as I waiver,

hesitation. Full commandeering mode

just needed to …” I wave my hands airily and the words trail away

still a

a doctor.” He’s in “no argument” mode, bossy and frowning. I sigh heavily, I know this mood and even in my strongest sulks. I’m

fine … make them order lunch instead, then I’ll be perfect.”

lunch before, you’ve never keeled over on me.” He has a dark look and I’m too fuzzy to

He slides me closer to him with both hands on my waist and steadies me against him, so

I’m a child

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