Go away, Jake.

I silently pray.

“Emma, open the door … For the love of god.” He returns, his voice calmer, yet still booming through at me.

“Someone’s at the door, Jake …”

Go answer it and leave me alone to freak out. Leave me to calm down and stop shaking like a leaf.

I’m trying to sound cold and cool, but I’m petrified.

“I don’t give a fuck, now open the door … Why are you hiding?” he’s exasperated, hurt.

Why am I hiding? Because I’m scared … The overwhelming realization of what I’ve just done is drowning me. Jake’s anger and aggression are scaring me. I’m suffocating, and I can’t think straight. I can’t look at him … How could I? I’ve just seen every part of him naked and let him do things to me; intimate things … Pleasurable things!

For the first time in my life they didn’t feel wrong, yet I experience the most guilt and shame I’ve ever felt. It’s too much. My head feels like it’s going to self-implode, taking my body with it.

The buzzer goes again, only this time longer and repetitive, someone making it clear they have no intention of going away. He thumps the door once more, making me jerk, as he storms away, cursing. Whoever is out there is persistent, and he knows they’re not going to just leave.

I run to grab a robe, now that I know he’s gone. I’m vibrating all over and I know it’s not just from fear. My body is still reeling from what he did to me; the overwhelming climax that rocked my entire world.

plush bathrobe, hoping to feel more secure. Hoping to feel a slight releasing of

the room … I can’t make them out, but

Who’s he talking to?

herself out, knowing he’s with a woman out there and my suspicion is peaked. At least it means he’s leaving me alone, for that I’m grateful, but I need to

they’re raised now, and I hold still. I strain to hear, but I’m scared to get too

want to be another one of his play mates, he picks up and drops on a whim …

a month at most, and never goes back to dating someone he’s seen before. Very rarely

every other female on the planet does. I fell at the feet of Jake

fact I am

woman who turns every little act into a huge brain fuck and over thinks every tiny detail. I am a woman who let herself fall for him, despite knowing what

want to deal with all the mess that

realize they’re more muffled than they should be. Whoever is here has been moved to his room, and he’s shut the door. I physically slump, knowing he would only take

robe tighter around me and slowly slide forward to unlock the door, peeking out as I do. I can see his from here and it’s shut, the sitting area clear. My hands trembling, I move out slowly, pulling the robe tighter. Fear giving way to paranoia

on the floor nearby and Jake’s clothes

who’s here and in his room with him. I want to know if it’s

freeze as the raised clear voice that’s overly familiar to me hits me like a ton of

as my ribs retract and my heart thumps against them

Marissa Hartley!

Fuck.

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