Go away, Jake.
I silently pray.
“Emma, open the door … For the love of god.” He returns, his voice calmer, yet still booming through at me.
“Someone’s at the door, Jake …”
Go answer it and leave me alone to freak out. Leave me to calm down and stop shaking like a leaf.
I’m trying to sound cold and cool, but I’m petrified.
“I don’t give a fuck, now open the door … Why are you hiding?” he’s exasperated, hurt.
Why am I hiding? Because I’m scared … The overwhelming realization of what I’ve just done is drowning me. Jake’s anger and aggression are scaring me. I’m suffocating, and I can’t think straight. I can’t look at him … How could I? I’ve just seen every part of him naked and let him do things to me; intimate things … Pleasurable things!
For the first time in my life they didn’t feel wrong, yet I experience the most guilt and shame I’ve ever felt. It’s too much. My head feels like it’s going to self-implode, taking my body with it.
The buzzer goes again, only this time longer and repetitive, someone making it clear they have no intention of going away. He thumps the door once more, making me jerk, as he storms away, cursing. Whoever is out there is persistent, and he knows they’re not going to just leave.
I run to grab a robe, now that I know he’s gone. I’m vibrating all over and I know it’s not just from fear. My body is still reeling from what he did to me; the overwhelming climax that rocked my entire world.
of my clothes until I’m fully naked and swathe myself in the plush bathrobe, hoping to feel more secure.
room … I can’t make them out, but one is Jake and one sounds like it might
Who’s he talking to?
my suspicion is peaked. At least it means he’s leaving me alone, for that I’m grateful, but I need to calm down and pull myself together. I need to get my emotions
but I’m scared to get too close to the door. I don’t know how to navigate this … I
one of his play mates, he picks up and drops on a whim … … How
never keeps any of them around; he doesn’t date anyone beyond a month at most, and never goes back to dating someone he’s seen before. Very rarely anyway. It’s not his style to back track. We can’t work together
I want to do that again anyway … I’m dirty and ashamed for letting this happen. I did what every other female on the planet does. I fell at the feet of Jake Carrero and gave him all of me. I am no better than any other women he has ever
in fact
a huge brain fuck and over thinks every tiny detail. I
with all the mess that I
voices in the room have moved away and I realize they’re more muffled than they should be. Whoever is here has been moved to his room, and he’s shut the door.
in my chest. I pull the robe tighter around me and slowly slide forward to unlock the door, peeking out as I do. I can see his from here and it’s shut, the sitting area clear. My hands trembling, I move out slowly, pulling the robe tighter. Fear giving way to paranoia
and panties on the floor nearby and Jake’s clothes are still lying in a heap. Whoever came here would have seen
listen. My turmoil held in check for the time being. I want to know who’s here and in his room with him. I want to know if it’s one of his play mates, even though I don’t have the right to care. It’s getting
freeze as the raised clear voice that’s overly familiar to me hits me like a ton of bricks … That snarly,
retract and my heart thumps
Marissa Hartley!
Fuck.
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