Go away, Jake.

I silently pray.

“Emma, open the door … For the love of god.” He returns, his voice calmer, yet still booming through at me.

“Someone’s at the door, Jake …”

Go answer it and leave me alone to freak out. Leave me to calm down and stop shaking like a leaf.

I’m trying to sound cold and cool, but I’m petrified.

“I don’t give a fuck, now open the door … Why are you hiding?” he’s exasperated, hurt.

Why am I hiding? Because I’m scared … The overwhelming realization of what I’ve just done is drowning me. Jake’s anger and aggression are scaring me. I’m suffocating, and I can’t think straight. I can’t look at him … How could I? I’ve just seen every part of him naked and let him do things to me; intimate things … Pleasurable things!

For the first time in my life they didn’t feel wrong, yet I experience the most guilt and shame I’ve ever felt. It’s too much. My head feels like it’s going to self-implode, taking my body with it.

The buzzer goes again, only this time longer and repetitive, someone making it clear they have no intention of going away. He thumps the door once more, making me jerk, as he storms away, cursing. Whoever is out there is persistent, and he knows they’re not going to just leave.

I run to grab a robe, now that I know he’s gone. I’m vibrating all over and I know it’s not just from fear. My body is still reeling from what he did to me; the overwhelming climax that rocked my entire world.

I’m fully naked and swathe myself in the plush bathrobe, hoping to feel

I can’t make them out, but one is Jake and one

Who’s he talking to?

out, knowing he’s with a woman out there and my suspicion is peaked. At least it means he’s leaving me alone, for that I’m grateful, but I need to calm down and pull myself together.

and I hold still. I strain to hear, but I’m scared to get too close to the door. I don’t know

picks up and drops on a whim

fuck buddy. He never keeps any of them around; he doesn’t date anyone beyond a month at most, and never goes back to dating someone he’s seen before. Very rarely anyway. It’s not his style to back track. We

dirty and ashamed for letting this happen. I did what every other female on the planet does. I

in fact

broken, emotionally messed-up woman who turns every little act into a huge brain fuck and over thinks every tiny detail. I am a woman who let herself

want to deal with all

been moved to his room, and

to unlock the door, peeking out as I do. I can see his from here and it’s shut, the sitting area clear. My

of my skirt and panties on the floor nearby and Jake’s clothes are still

want to know if it’s one of

as the raised clear voice that’s overly familiar to me hits me like a

as my ribs retract and

Marissa Hartley!

Fuck.

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