They both sit and begin to eat; the silence is awkward and tense, but no one attempts to initiate conversation. The nurse looks around timidly before deciding staring at her plate is the best option and lowers her head. Finally, feeling my irritation rise beyond control, I break the glass-like atmosphere with a sledgehammer.

“Why are you here?” I blurt out, with not so subtle venom.

“I … We needed to talk about things, Emma.” She lowers her lashes, attempting to be coy, maybe even feebleness, but it only angers me. Putting her fork down and crossing her hands on the table she leans toward me.

“About what exactly? The fact that you’re screwing the man who loves to beat both of us up and tried to rape your only child?” I spit, harshly, taking delight in the nurse’s gasp of shock and the color rising up her cheeks.

I guess she didn’t know after all.

“Yes … Emma, he’s gone … I know what I did, I see what I did.” She tries to reach for my hand, but I yank it out of reach. Her voice has that air of victim that I hate.

How many times have I heard this bullshit? How many times has she pushed men away after they hit one of us, only to have him crawl back into her bed days later?

“Too little, far too late, Mother! You think you can just show up here and smooth it all over? Do you even know what he did while you were lying in a hospital bed?” My voice is raised and agitated; I need to regain a little control in this if we are to have it out. I hate that she always makes me break this way.

“No …” Her weak tiny voice betrays her nervousness, she’s afraid I’m going to tell her he succeeded this time. I catch that moment of doubt, casting my mind back to the look on her face when she caught him trying to hurt me once before … The fear he would want me instead of her. It makes me sick to my stomach, which only helps fuel my rage.

“He attacked me!” I snarl. “He’s just the same evil man he was eight years ago, nothing has changed!”

he…?” She can’t formulate the words, but I can read her like a book. All she wants to know is if he had sex

me, to scare me, and he did,” I yell

happy. She never cared about me; it was always about her and her men. I just got in the way. I

It’s like a damn just implodes

shit out of him and I’m glad … he deserved it! I wish he’d killed him.” I break completely, screaming like a banshee, jumping to my feet, and sending the table into chaos as my body knocks it furiously.

her brain. The nurse tries to grab the cups to set them straight, without success, all the while her face flaming in terror at my outburst.

his hands on me … Someone who didn’t have any obligation to love

thought makes me want to lash out and beat her stupid face to a pulp the

screech again, tears flowing down my face, emotions

Ray left!” She yells back at me, dropping her mask, voice filled with rage and accusation, poised like she wants to hit me. She’s on her feet trying to bring her small wiry frame to my height to scold me. The nurse stays

left? You said he was gone … You implied it was your choosing?” I fall still, that moment of pause

make the decision on

a car wreck, told me it was over and left. I haven’t seen him since. You chased him out of my life

self-absorbed that she is

recent weeks of agony without Jake built up, breaking my

an inch and smashing into the wall behind her with dramatic effect. Both woman squeal and jump in fright and I push the table hard onto its side, so it rolls over onto the floor, spilling everything else down with a horrendous crash. The

grabbing at my hair, almost ripping it out in frustration. I’m pacing, trying so hard to hold in the last ounces of

from this anger inside me that wants so badly to hurt her; to retaliate at her failings as a mother. I can’t run away now, nor do I want to. This is my home

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