They both sit and begin to eat; the silence is awkward and tense, but no one attempts to initiate conversation. The nurse looks around timidly before deciding staring at her plate is the best option and lowers her head. Finally, feeling my irritation rise beyond control, I break the glass-like atmosphere with a sledgehammer.

“Why are you here?” I blurt out, with not so subtle venom.

“I … We needed to talk about things, Emma.” She lowers her lashes, attempting to be coy, maybe even feebleness, but it only angers me. Putting her fork down and crossing her hands on the table she leans toward me.

“About what exactly? The fact that you’re screwing the man who loves to beat both of us up and tried to rape your only child?” I spit, harshly, taking delight in the nurse’s gasp of shock and the color rising up her cheeks.

I guess she didn’t know after all.

“Yes … Emma, he’s gone … I know what I did, I see what I did.” She tries to reach for my hand, but I yank it out of reach. Her voice has that air of victim that I hate.

How many times have I heard this bullshit? How many times has she pushed men away after they hit one of us, only to have him crawl back into her bed days later?

“Too little, far too late, Mother! You think you can just show up here and smooth it all over? Do you even know what he did while you were lying in a hospital bed?” My voice is raised and agitated; I need to regain a little control in this if we are to have it out. I hate that she always makes me break this way.

“No …” Her weak tiny voice betrays her nervousness, she’s afraid I’m going to tell her he succeeded this time. I catch that moment of doubt, casting my mind back to the look on her face when she caught him trying to hurt me once before … The fear he would want me instead of her. It makes me sick to my stomach, which only helps fuel my rage.

“He attacked me!” I snarl. “He’s just the same evil man he was eight years ago, nothing has changed!”

to know is if he had sex with

his dominance over me, to scare me, and he did,” I yell at her, the twist in

never cared about me; it was always about her and her men. I just

me snapping so very easily. It’s like a damn just implodes and the waters

he deserved it! I wish he’d killed him.” I break completely, screaming like a banshee, jumping to my feet, and sending the table into chaos

how Ray incurred his injuries and I catch the look as it clicks in her brain. The

who didn’t have any obligation to love or protect me. My

thought makes me want to lash out and beat her stupid face to a pulp the way Jake beat

do to me?” I screech again, tears flowing down my face, emotions getting the better of me. My voice hoarse with

How is any of that my fault? Jake had no right to hurt Ray … He’s the reason Ray left!” She yells back at me, dropping her mask, voice filled with rage and accusation, poised like she wants to hit me. She’s on her feet trying to bring her small wiry frame to my height to scold me. The nurse stays seated, staring at her hands in her lap

calm myself. “What do you mean he left? You said he was gone … You implied it was your choosing?” I fall still, that moment of pause in my hysteria as logic shakes me. My tears halt as numbness holds me

make the decision on her own to send him away.

left. He came by looking like he’d been in a car wreck, told me it was over and left. I haven’t seen him since. You chased him out of my life … again!! I hope you’re happy

self-absorbed that she is deaf to what she is

is unable to hold herself back any longer. All the recent

throwing my plate of food at her blindly as tears overtake my vision, missing her head by an inch and smashing into the wall behind her with dramatic effect. Both woman squeal and jump in fright and I push the table hard onto its

hair, almost ripping

to this stage of erupting and going insane and I ran away. I ran, to protect myself, and protect her, from this anger inside me that wants so badly to hurt her; to retaliate at her failings as a mother. I can’t run away now,

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