I sit in the ladies’ restroom on a soft plush chaise lounge in the washing area. It’s the only place I could get to quickly that was private enough to bring myself back to inner calm. My head is all over the place. This is about more than just Jake. It’s everything. I’ve been holding it all in since the morning after my mother left. Her, my lack of ability to stay in control, the aching loneliness of Jake’s absence, and now seeing him. It’s all too much.
Maybe it’s time I faced reality and looked for another job. I was stupid to think I could work here, only floors away from him. Acting like we don’t know each other anymore. I just can’t do it.
I can’t handle the thought that any time I leave this floor I might see him. There’s a chance we could run into one another anywhere in this building, and I’ve just proven I can’t deal with it.
Looking around at the contemporary furnishings I sigh. My heart rate calmer, for now, but I know I can’t keep living like this, in the hope of feeling better.
How long before I’m an emotional train wreck again because I’ve spotted him across a hall? Or in an elevator? Or even in a meeting? I need to get a grip of myself.
I need to think about this rationally, think about what’s best for me and moving on with my life.
* * *
I take the elevator down to the lower floors where there’s a huge canteen for staff to eat with a pleasant seated area that is surprisingly private. I need time to think in a calm and quiet place, take a moment to browse the classifieds again and really think this through. Think my future through and where I go from here.
I grab a chair and sit by the large glass windows, with my English tea and bagel, to spend some time pondering over my next steps now I am back to calm. I have no intention of walking away from this table until I have a plan in my head about where I go next or what I do. I know one thing for sure, I can’t work here anymore. I was an idiot to come back at all.
I skim the classifieds in the paper someone had left on the table and I circle a couple of jobs, but neither have the lure of the one I’m in now, or even compare to being the PA to New York’s richest playboy. They don’t meet the salary I’m used to having either.
to try
There’s a position for a PA to some European businessman so I
this? Have I really decided to
She looks pretty today, long auburn hair loose around her shoulders and her fitted cream suit accentuates
paper over and moving it aside, gesturing to her to sit.
face beautifully and for the first time I realize just how much I’ve missed her. I never really gave the idea much thought when we worked together but seeing her. She used to ease my stresses and organize finer details, leaving me free to be brilliant. My secret weapon. But above all, she always had a smile for me, and I knew she was my back up,
miss you too. I really miss your hot chocolates, a lot.” I
seem different now … I’m sorry if that’s rude.” She lowers her lashes. “It’s just, I’ve seen you at a distance a couple of times and I don’t know, it’s like there’s something different,” a hint of blush creeps
right?” I sip my tea and raise an eyebrow. It’s inevitable they’re all talking about the PA who was sent away, only to be sent
There’s so much gossip about why you left.” She blushes fully this time, averting her eyes to the paper on the
truth has made it out there. Rosalie’s never been one to push
She watches me a little intently and I freeze with my cup mid-air and shake my head. Carefully placing
chose to send me elsewhere, Rosalie. Jake and I …” I sigh. “We reached a place in our relationship that
been gone, he’s not much fun to work for anymore.” Her
tap my nails on the tabletop, trying
up straight in a flash, she’s noticed my notes on the pad beside me … The European PA job. I mustn’t
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