The Carrero Effect - Falling for the Boss (Billionaire CEO)

Sarah isn’t home when I let myself into the apartment carrying my case. I let Jefferson go, assuring him I can manage and despite his fatherly protests, he is finally gone. I still have a key to the apartment and want nothing more than the coziness of the couch and throws and space to mull over Jake’s asshole attitude.

I text Sarah informing her of my arrival, so she won’t be surprised when she gets home but my heart sinks at her response. Marcus has taken her to Florida for a few days to meet his family and she only left this morning. She tells me to help myself to the freezer contents and to call her later. My heart aches but I don’t tell her why I’m here.

Meeting the family equals seriousness. It signals forever!

Maybe Sarah and Marcus are really making a go of it this time, the thought bothers me, but not as much as it did before. I’m lost now that my stability isn’t here to lift my chin and help me get through my first meaningful relationship fight with Jake. Not that there is much of a fight. Just him acting out like the spoiled brat he can sometimes be and trying to domineer his own way as per usual. Sometimes I like Jake’s wealth and the confidence it gives him but at times like this, when his tantrumming, asshole moods and attitude that money has ingrained in him rears its ugly head, I hate it.

I submerge myself in catching up with Margo and work via email. Step one of showing Jake this is not how a relationship works. I’m going to reacquaint myself with the current tasks he’d been overseeing, touch base with Rosalie, and make it known I want to be involved again. I’ve become too used to being kept by Jake in eternal vacation mode and stubborn PA Emma is stamping her foot in defiance at his behavior today. He seems more than happy to slide me into his personal life more and more, taking me worlds away from PA mode and partly it’s what’s wrong with me lately. The weird moods and emotions, the tiredness, and listless feelings deep inside. I have lost my value as his partner in work and left only as his girlfriend with no real security the way I need it.

I want to be more than just his bed partner and cuddle buddy; I need that challenge back of being his partner in work; decision making and overseeing things. I am so out of touch with all of that and disappointed in myself.

The thought of making a home in the Hamptons with nothing to do but twiddle my thumbs makes me terrified. I don’t know how to be nothing—a doting girlfriend and kept woman. I don’t know how to slot into a domestic life and leisurely existence, and I don’t want it. I want to be worth something, to be something worthwhile, for me, something to aspire to.

Margo soon dumps the email catch up in replacement for a real phone call and has me up to speed, lost in idle chit-chat and asking how life as Jake’s love is treating me. It feels so good to talk to her, to talk through everything, and even to confess to the fight at his parents. This opening up to people had slowly been getting more natural with me, shockingly so, and I’m finding it helps me right now.

She assures me that Jake will come around and realize that pushing me has never worked in the past and always sent me running away from him. To have a little faith in his ability to retrace his bad decisions and make things right. I smile when we hang up, more assured and less heartbroken. She’s right. Jake may be an impulsive ass sometimes but eventually his logical brain brings it back around and he sees the error in his judgment. I’m just not sure how long this is going to take him.

wasn’t what you wanted in life, Emma, good move. That ego alone has taken a massive dint today,

sigh in exasperation and try to focus on anything

despair at his lack of contact and check my phone endlessly. That pit of anxiety and tension coursing through me and the absolute agony of not knowing what he’s thinking anymore. Finally, I can’t stand it and call him, beyond hurt

for caring

thuds hard through my chest,

What the fuck?

extremely drunk, but he’s talking to other people in the background, some female voices too. Giggling and chattering and a lot of hilarity. My tears well up

jealousy rages, my heart and temper sparring

warmly roll down my cheek, despite my rage. My heart’s breaking. I hate the way he can twist a knife in me this way. All he’s done is go out, but somehow it feels like a

and who with?

suddenly feel so alone and so insecure it’s almost strangling me, cursing my inner stupid self and her eternal inability to believe

or something. We’ll see.” He sounds distant, cold, just like the Jake who left me on that boat to go

if he has, then it doesn’t matter to him and now his attitude … calling me honey … The pet name he used on his casual sex buddies. The anger soars through me and I yank the phone back up calling again. This time when

fuck are you?” I stand up, rage coursing through me, pacing hysterically. My body trembling with

me this way, like I don’t matter? He spent months making me believe that I matter more than anything in the world and on the back of one stupid disagreement, he’s treating me like one of his passing whores. Some of whom