I’m lying in a heap on the bed, numb from endless sobbing and wracking pain. I don’t know how long I’ve been lying listening to my own blood rush through my head as my heart self-implodes inside my body. I’m nothing but a shell, a quiet empty shell of exhaustion and heartache, rumpled beyond recognition.

I lashed out, hit at him, and shoved him away with every ounce of strength I possessed, yet still he tried to cling to me.

My Jake, my body, and soul. Now the destroyer of everything that I was.

I told him not to touch me, to never touch me again, to leave, and to go away. I screamed and cried and fell to pieces on the floor at his feet. His words tumbling around me like noise that I couldn’t understand, so consumed by my grief. It’s only when I whimpered and begged that he leave me alone he finally listened; moving away so I could find my way to my feet, running into the solitude of this room … our room. His room. Shutting him out and locking him away. I can’t bare for him to be near me, to touch me, or look at me anymore.

What we are is lost; his betrayal sealed our fate and my world has been ripped apart with such devastation. I don’t think I’ll ever be the same again. All I can think about, is his mouth against hers, over and over, and it rips through my heart. Kissing the mouth of the one woman in the world I hate beyond compare. He has no clue of the depth and damage cheating with her has done. He has no idea how deep his betrayal has wounded me.

He kissed someone else. Not just anyone else, but her, the object of all my hatred and pain for the last few months.

The woman who possessed his heart once upon a time, the only other woman who has been loved by him, and now carries his child.

Marissa Hartley.

How can I ever get beyond this or believe that his feelings for her are as clear cut as I thought?

Her name is like a dagger in my chest, a wound so unbearable burning and searing, making sure I never recover from the fatal blow.

Why, Jake? … Why? Because you were so sure of my readiness to betray you? Fueled by insecurity because of my refusal to start a home with you or answer your proposal?

Fueled by my stupidity in making you believe I would betray you so readily over a fight.

fragile that something this stupid has ripped us

and my pulse stops. His closeness still affecting me, even at a distance, my body

covering my ears, curling into a ball with a fresh wave of unbearable aching inside of me, silent tears pouring down my face. I just want this pain to stop

it could possibly be, different to how he normally sounds, crushing my soul. I’m so far away from myself, I fear I’ll never find my way back. I close my eyes tight, screwing them hard, willing him to leave. My voice wouldn’t come even if I wanted it to. It’s so raw and painful making it too hard to swallow, aftereffects from

door, it creaks with the pressure of human weight, a noise of

out here.” The sadness in his

until I became quiet, but I can’t lock him out forever. This is his apartment … his home. Not mine anymore. I need to get up, take everything I own, and leave him; he’s left me no

me, causing me to break the silence with a sob. I can’t begin to think about leaving him, not yet, not while my body wants to lie

head, as broken and as crumpled as me. I try to shake the image of him from my mind, tears consuming me; the thought

pain of letting him close. The thought of his touch brings the flash of a vision into my head of him and her, him touching

he done

him to hear me.

you. I swear. I’ll keep my distance. I just need to see you … look at you.” He begs. He shifts toward the door to strain for my response and it shatters me

don’t like him this way. He’s my strong, domineering Carrero, always so sure and infuriatingly confident, in control of everything.

him, begging me, sitting slumped outside, and seeking

betrayed me and left me this way. The Jake who would move mountains to protect me; not this man sitting out there who is so far removed

I can’t get up.” it’s true, I don’t have the strength to walk to the door. My body’s broken. I cry quietly, tears falling freely beyond my control. I can barely lift my head, so drained of life I am beyond the point of moving. Fatigue is wracking every limb with

open the door and I will,” his voice is strained, he’s waiting and

hell of helping me. That’s my torture.

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