I’m a little saner from the harsh jets of hot water drilling into my skull, distracting me from my own reality, and stand that way until my legs go numb, like a mindless drone on autopilot.
I dress in fresh clothes and brush out my hair before moving to unpack my things into the empty wardrobe.
The doorbell ringing snaps my focus around, and I hesitate, stomach lurching in panic. Sarah won’t be back for a few days and I’m not expecting anyone I can think of. Experiencing a moment of fear as my gut tells me it might be him, that maybe he doesn’t want to give me space to think, but I can’t see him so soon. My insides go weak, turning to liquid mush, my legs become rubber, and hands start sweating. I’m close to fainting when sense steps in.
Wait!
My brain snaps into focus, telling me it’ll be Mathews with my belongings! I asked him to bring them to me sooner rather than later, wanting the pain of the task out of the way quickly. I feel ridiculous and try to regain some stability in my legs.
Get a grip, Emma. Breathe … Count … Breathe.
I stumble to the door through the open-plan lounge opening it hesitantly without checking the spy hole; willing myself to find courage and poise to hide the internal disaster that I am.
stands with another man dressed in matching black, holding cases, a serious expression on his face. I know he’s taking
everything brought in?” His deep gravelly voice is comforting. I smile emptily, moving out of the way gesturing they should, finding PA
was nearing the end of the one I had. He never
him so much. He always knew what I
are done, Mathews turns to me at the door, ushering his man out, and
to give you this.” His steady gaze taking in the flicker of emotions across my face as he holds out the long slender cream envelope with my name on the front with the achingly bold and beautiful handwritten script of Jake’s on the front. My heart pangs and contracts at the sight of it. I instantly bite on my lip to quell the tears, the heavy swallowing to calm my emotions doesn’t go
men are idiots when it comes to love and relationships. We all make mistakes. Just don’t dismiss
so much and yet is
I nod too, ignoring that tug in my throat which aches so badly. Tears pool
my things, Mr. Mathews and thank you, really.” I smile emptily. He understands that I’m dismissing him before I fall apart, because even hearing Jake’s name brings an unbearable agony that cuts through my core. He nods and says a small farewell before leaving, pulling
an empty daydream, before my head snaps me into focus and I stare down at the letter in
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