The Carrero Effect - Falling for the Boss (Billionaire CEO)

Chapter 199

“You look beautiful, neonata,” he says, almost as though he can read my mind. I swallow hard as the lump of emotion threatens to rise through my throat at the fact that he always knows.

Is there another human being alive so effortlessly in tune with me? Who always says just what I need to hear?

“I look tired and awful,” I reply quietly. “I haven’t been sleeping a whole lot lately.” I bring my hands to the hem of the cozy long jumper dress, fiddling with the soft wool, and chew my lip. Now I’m here beside him and ready to get this out I don’t know what to say or how to say it; I don’t even know what I want.

“Makes two of us.” His voice is lighter and without looking up I can tell he’s staring at me with his beautifully gorgeous green eyes.

God, I miss him so much.

Even his smell and closeness are aiding wounds that have opened over the last few days. The eternal despair and loneliness that consumed me is fading with his mere presence and him being his normal gentle self. I can almost forget the past few days of agonizing loneliness.

“You hurt me.” It’s the only thing I can think of to say to get this in the direction it needs to go. I’m so used to Jake leading conversations that involve feelings but not this time. I need him to understand what I’m feeling and thinking and not let it bubble up inside me.

“I know … I hate myself right now, Emma, you have to believe me. If I could go back and stop it then I would, in a heartbeat.” He shifts closer, his leg up on the couch so he’s fully turned to me. I can’t bring myself to turn to him; tears welling up inside me now that we’re doing this. “I can’t function without you … I miss you like crazy, bambino, and I’m losing my mind not being able to touch you.” His nearness causes waves of tingles and cold to run over me, my body as confused as my mind, turning into a chaos of mixed signals. Lust, fear, longing, defiance, love, hate, heartbreak. I’ve no idea what to feel about him.

my hair, turning the strand, and twisting it absent-mindedly, trying to focus on something else rather than the erupting chaos inside of me. Jake leans out over me, automatically, taking my hand in his and slides the last gap between us holding my hand to his

anything, Emma, I’ll go anywhere. If you want me to cut all ties with her

thudding like a war drum. I can’t look at

want is you back in my arms, Emma.” He leans closer so he’s almost

do that. I don’t want you to abandon it, despite me not wanting the baby to be there.” My hands are shaking so badly I push them between my knees and press my legs together to

you to know that I

why.” The tears spring out without warning, my voice crumbling, and I tense away as his hands rise to

stupid drunken mess who convinced himself that you didn’t want a life with me. I wasn’t just drunk, Emma. I went off the rails and took shit I haven’t touched since my teens. I got completely shit-faced and got into a fight with two men during that one night.” The regret in his voice causes me to look at his hands. It’s the first time I notice the faint bruises and healing cuts across his knuckles. That inner weight gets heavier and my heart bleeds a little more; a surge of disappointment at knowing he’d taken drugs.

marriage. I said it was all happening so fast and I was scared.” I leave my focus on his hands, they’re sat on his

know.” He sounds ashamed, deflated, and devoid of hope; the tone of his voice yanks through my

went. It’s all that goes through my head all the time. You and her and I can’t bear it.” I don’t hide my tears and my voice is trembling as much as my hands. He lifts his hands automatically fisting them and

The more wasted out of my head I got, the less logical everything became. It could’ve been any girl, it just happened to be her. She appeared almost out of nowhere and was trying to get

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