The sensation of darkness hits me before any real pain does, and overwhelming dizziness, as my body buckles in front of him. My bones melt instantly, and I have no idea what is happening to me. He’s knocked me senseless but not completely out and he slips me over his shoulder limply and effortlessly.

I’m fighting with my own consciousness to wake up and failing. There’s a dark haziness over me, I know what is happening, but I have zero ability to do anything about it, my body temporarily paralyzed, my willingness to fight locked inside my head. It feels like I’m dreaming, and all pain and fear has slipped aside. I can hear harsh whimpering mewls coming from somewhere and realize it’s my own voice. My inability to fight back and the fear inside of me blows up to dramatic proportions but I have no strength or courage to do anything.

He is carrying me toward the stairs, effortlessly taking me from this house with an aura of satisfaction; my limbs are heavy, and I have a slow tingling sensation coming into my fingertips. I’m sure I’m going to throw up, the beginning of retches and jerks of a stomach getting ready to empty itself. I start tingling and aching in my legs as I realize my body is coming out of the shock that his assault placed it in. I’m slowly, so very painfully slowly able to move my fingers, fighting the huge weight of my own limbs to lift them.

I whimper and reach out, trying weakly to grope at the closest banister to me as we pass, every jolt and nudge is painful in my abdomen as my body bounces on hard shoulders with every step downward. I’m trying to hold on, but my weak fingers slide with no grip, still not completely responsive. I slump and try to inhale slowly, try to regain strength in my body as the mind fog in my brain starts to clear. My head aches heavily as it begins to come through.

His pace is slow and steady, he’s enjoying the build up to taking me from my home, getting a kick out of his dominance. His cruel vindictive game of building my fear, knowing I’m helpless. He planned this, thought about every step and now he’s relishing in every second. His body odor and sweat wakes my senses up, gagging and retching. The undeniably strong stench of a man who is used to physical work and lack of hygiene.

“I’ve seen how weak pretty boy is over you. I’m going to enjoy sending him the videos of what I’m repeatedly doing to you. I’m going to enjoy this so much more than you are, sweetheart! I have so many inventive ways to fuck you, I just hope you live long enough to really torture him into insanity.” He laughs again, almost to himself, his comments more of a smug self-assurance in an evil sadistic way than a confession of his plans for me. It makes me realize how deeply he has been fantasizing about this, thinking it through, every step planned for precision at how to get back at Jake and me; serving punishment on a man he’s no match for and a girl who evaded his demands twice.

He’s taking me somewhere … somewhere he’s prepared with cameras and God knows what else. He intends to rape me, torture me, and probably beat me; violence has always been his turn on, and he wants to inflict pain upon Jake in the most demonic way possible. He’s seen the love Jake has for me and he’s going to use it as a weapon knowing Jake can never physically touch him. He’s a coward and a twisted son of a bitch, a man who can only dominate women that are of no match for him.

Fight for God’s sake! Get up and move, Emma!

That inner voice claws at me, a wave of fear running through my stomach for me and little tadpole. He’ll kill us both for sure, and if he doesn’t kill me then he’ll kill the innocent life that grows inside me. She would never survive repeated rape and torture and killing my baby will end me too. Even if I survive this, I know I would never survive the loss or the knowledge that I didn’t protect her. I am her mother; I need to protect her always.

You can and will protect your daughter from Ray. You can do this.

Mommy

hands grasp the banisters, desperately trying to latch on. My palms sliding on the wooden surface, but I try again and grasp on, gripping hard onto my lifeline, tugging us to a sudden unexpected halt, mid-step. It earns me a massive searing smack across my legs and butt, pain and burning sensations

down the huge sweeping staircase, closer to the door and probably a waiting car to take me to never be found alive again. If I let him get me out there, let him take me from this place then all is hopeless. No one will know where to come and find me.

him, it will destroy him. The beautiful soul that makes

to give me strength and courage. His beautiful face and powerful body, that calm demeanor but passionate heart. My body and soul, my reason for breathing; him and our baby. They are my whole world, my life, and my future and no one has the right to take that away from me or to take me away from

tight in determination, and with a slow steadying breath I grab at the smooth wooden rail, resolving to hold on to it with

on the smooth surface, it slides and clangs against the railings as I’m tugged onwards in

in my palms, we’re still moving so he mustn’t have noticed it. He’s too engrossed in his thoughts of what

Long and thin and

chest as my scrambled brain makes sense of it, suddenly clicking my

crowbar …

as high as I can above my head, positioning myself with my abdomen crushing against him, giving me balance and arching my back and head as high as I can. I stretch my arms to full length and extend the

Take this fucker!

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