The Carrero Heart - Beginning (Friends to Lovers)

“You up and left me for some big city life and a girlfriend who doesn’t want me hanging out with you. You left me! So I found my own way, and now because you don’t like it you think I should stop.” I smart, biting hard, sounding every bit the catty bitch I have become over the past months. “See, the funny thing is, you want me to go back to being your little sidekick, but you’re not even going to stick around more than forty-eight hours to even see that I make it. Doesn’t sound like you really have any intention of seeing me through anything.” I throw my shoes off into the open walk-in closet, rifle through the display of shoes distractedly, and pull out some high black stilettos, studded with mini spikes from two seasons ago that will work with this top. Trying to keep my cool so very painfully, I slide them on my feet then haul out a matching belt and sling it around my low-rise jeans. Glam rock, to suit my ‘piss off, I fucking hate you’ mood of right now.

Arrick frowns as he watches the outfit taking shape before his eyes. His whole body language responding to the change in me, and I can see the evolution from caring and understanding to getting pissed with how this is going. I no longer care, I am beyond trying to reel in that inner crazy in me, and shoes and clothes are no longer having any effect.

“So, you’re just going to dress up and go out to get wrecked, right? You’re handling it so fucking well. Four-hour drive home for absolutely fucking nothing, Sophs, round of applause.” He snaps; that cool demeanor breaking once more and at super-fast speed for him. His eyes narrowed and sparking with rage and jaw squaring as he grits his teeth to curb the temper. I straighten up and meet his scowl face-on, glaring right fucking back at him with the fury of a girl who has been trampled on one too many times, and disappointed that her one lifeline turned out to be a big fat nothing.

Despite Arrick’s cool outward persona there is no doubt he has that hot Italian Carrero blood in there somewhere, and I always figured his time in the ring, beating opponents, helped to disperse it enough to maintain calm everywhere else. He obviously needs a good boxing match soon or else he is in serious Carrero explode mode. Part of me wonders what that would ever look like; years of cool control dissipating and letting that underlying fierce and passion out. Part of me is edging stupidly to push and see.

Yup, inner self-destruct mode for sure!

get to go sail off into the sunset, patting yourself on the back for the sterling job of delivering me home. Go! Go back to New York and Natasha. I don’t need you here, I don’t need you anymore, and I never will. I’m fine by myself, I can handle my own shit from now on without you running interference.” My voice raised, heart beating fast as anger floors me internally, my head seems set on poking the bear with a big stick. I have obviously internally decided that if I can’t have his support then I want his reaction, and even though mature Sophie is screaming at me how stupid this is, childish Sophie is egging me on. I want to wound him the way he is wounding me. I

only have two reactions to an angry Arry … either I cry and revert to wounded child, or I hate him and lash out with any weapon I can. Right now, it’s the latter, and the words tumbling

some asshole taking his violent tendencies out on you?” Arrick sneers, anger snapping in that beautifully glaring face, losing his own ability to keep it all calm and wrapped up like Mr. Control. always

deal with me anymore. I get it loud and clear … I’m not your problem from here on in!” I pull off bitch in so many ways, stance, frosty tone, and glare. If it was any other douche in New York getting this side of me then I would high-five myself with a sense of flawless achievement, but

pouring from my mouth, deep down I’m in heart-wrenching agony, like my insides are going to self-implode and I can’t breathe. The effort of holding myself in check and the

me like he always does. I want him to help fix me and find the root of why everything has been falling to shit around

going to work anymore. You obviously changed in the time you stayed away and this girl facing me now is not someone I want to know, or even know how to get through to.” Arrick straightens up, fixing his shirt and smoothing his jacket down in that infuriating way of

off.” I stand with my hands on my hips, venom on show while my heart disintegrates and pushes him away. All the while my soul is screaming at him to see through this bullshit and just help me.

Don’t leave me again.