The Carrero Heart - Beginning (Friends to Lovers)

It has the same rich kid décor as most of my ex friend’s places, and the upside is the closeness to the nightlife and the bustling stores. Even though I told myself I wouldn’t be like before, I still want to be somewhere that gives me a choice, near the buzz of New York’s constant energy should I feel like going out sometime.

“Who owns this place, anyway?” I nosey at the bedrooms, smiling when Camilla tells me to pick one. I wander into the most feminine and chuck my backpack on the bed haphazardly, eyeing up its clean décor and the hints that this is a male’s place. It reeks of bachelor pad rather than a couple, or even a woman.

“Just some guy I sometimes fuck. He’s very generous with his houses.” She winks at me and wanders in to flop on the bed in front of me, carrying two glasses and a bottle of wine. “Celebratory tipple?” She waves it my way, but I only shake my head. Sighing heavily.

“I’m still recovering from whatever rocket fuel you poured down my throat last night.” It isn’t just the hangover, something in my gut tells me Camilla did something to my drink last night and I can’t shake it. I know she will deny it if I ask, and I just cannot be bothered with any drama. I’m exhausted, still hungover and in need of some rest. The journey was cramped, noisy, and the creep watching me across the aisle on the whole trip made me uptight and tense. I sat with my bag in my lap, aware of his eyes on me.

“Come on, Sophs, don’t be a spoilsport. You can’t bunk with me and not enjoy the occasional booze fest. What’s the point of being young, beautiful, and loaded if we can’t have some fun?” She sits up, placing the glasses on the nightstand while fighting with the cork, screaming in delight when it pops off and wine spills everywhere.

feet, and I really am too exhausted to leave. I want nothing more than to relax for one night and stop stressing about how my family are right this second. I know, without a doubt they’ll have realized I’m gone by now, and the guilt is tearing me up inside. I have major regrets

regarding it for a second before sliding it into the drawer hesitantly, adamant I won’t turn it on this time. I have to do this on my own before I can let them back in. Whether I’m making a huge mistake, it’s something I have to do on my own, and prove

was thinking while on the bus, about what I’m going to do, plan to search; I can Google on my phone for information and have figured an action plan of sorts already. I just need a little time to put it all into action before I

that I intend to sort out, and I want to start looking for a job or something, to support myself when I get my shit together.” I shoo the glass away and set about pulling a tank and panties out to wear to bed, even though it’s early I intend to get in and just stay there. I have so much more reading to do on a

you don’t need a job.” Camilla laughs at the ridiculousness of it. Downing her booze and

again. I need something more in my life than this. I need a focus and something to drive me so that I feel like my life is my own.” My head is a mass of thoughts and feelings about everything, and I realize I have to make some changes. I’m not a kid anymore, and if I want them all to see it, I need to stop acting like one. I maybe did a really stupid and immature thing by running

you out something to keep money flowing, I have my ways.” Camilla takes a serious turn, her normally grinning red

and cars.” I regard her warily, pulling off my clothes to change into bed wear as Camilla shifts over to the other side to deposit the extra

little one, when you’re less stubborn minded and more open to my gentle persuasions. We’ll talk over dinner and drinks tomorrow night at my favorite little hangout.” Camilla gets up to move, flashing