The Carrero Heart - Beginning (Friends to Lovers)

“Shit … I’m seriously going to be late.” I’m running around looking for my shoes and trying to get myself together before Christian picks me up for the school open day. So not with it, still half drunk, feeling like shit and in need of way more sleep, trying not to dwell on last night and Arry has not brought it up at all. He’s acting like it never happened, although we literally haven’t had a second to think since I opened my eyes. He is trying to help me to get myself together and just keeps getting in my way, clucking around me, clearly still in protector mode.

I’m not a morning person, I never have been, and I’m so unbelievably irritable this morning. I think it’s the after-effects of last night and dreams filled with horrid memories that left me exhausted and raw inside. I know I must have been crying out in my sleep, I woke several times to Arrick calming me down and pulling me close, stroking my face and telling me he was there.

I want to throat punch everyone this morning, maybe not him, but everyone else. Aggression levels are abnormally high and I feel crazily out of my head and should have stayed in bed.

“Here. Calm down, you have time.” Arrick hands me my shoe, his tone deliberately steady and cool and I hop around trying to get it on. We have barely had a moment to talk this morning. From eyes flying open when I realized I never set an alarm, to falling out of bed into a room that was still spinning. I ended up face down, hanging over the side precariously with the duvet round my ankles, Arrick trying to pull me up from behind while laughing at my hopelessness and not helping in any way.

“I hate you.” I curse at him for no reason other than he’s getting the blame for the state I am in, as he was the one plying me with booze all night, telling me to let go as he would take care of me. I’m never listening to him again, and I really think we need to talk about the amount of alcohol we drink together when we are out. I’m starting to see a distinct flaw in our compatibility when we get that way.

“Sure you do.” He smiles at me with that annoyingly morning brightness of his, a lot less dead than me and, thankfully, all those marks on his face from last night have almost faded away. There are grazes and the odd healing bump, but all the redness is gone. I straighten up and look at him pointedly.

“We shouldn’t drink, we just act like assholes when we do.” I guess this is my way of apologizing to him, without apologizing. And I guess my pathetic way of trying to broach the subject.

Lame Sophie.

“I am more than aware of that. Although the times we have, the first half of the alternative to fighting was pretty good.” Arrick winks cheekily and then sighs and runs a finger along my jaw. He is right, the moments of not freaking out and not fighting had been more than good, and it really makes me want to experience it with him all the more, torn that alcohol is the devil’s work. I mean, he really only ever loses his inhibitions about touching me that way when he has had a few, and I want to know what it’s like to have him make love to me without all the mess that happens around us. Even after last night, I still want that with him.

I wonder If that will ever happen now?

If the first time freaked him out for a month, then I have no idea what last night will do to his head. He is in an ultra-protective mode, gentle and fluffing around me like a mother hen, making me feel a little suffocated today. I know that means that overthinking, over logical brain will put the brakes on anything else for a long time.

“You need to eat.” He points me in the direction of the kitchen, to which I haul my unicorn cookie out of my handbag and wave it at him childishly.

“Sorted.” I grin and see him curb the urge to have a go at me, sighing instead and holding his tongue. I guess last night has some perks, after all, he doesn’t want to upset me this morning and is putting up with tremendous amounts of grumpiness and bad behavior from me.

“If it wasn’t for the fact that you are coming back here at ten, then I would make you eat something else. I’ll make some food as soon as you get back.” He frowns at me and moves to the kitchen while I attempt to get my damp hair in order, no time to dry it from the quick shower I had, and my makeup is all at home. I hadn’t thought about getting ready here when I met him at the bowling alley straight from my apartment. As it is, luckily, I have some clothes here and managed to find something sort of casual to wear with low heeled shoes I left behind his couch. The fact I’m a lazy, messy ass who litters his entire apartment all the time with all my belongings is really a good thing, now that I think of it. The buzzer goes, and I curse at the time once more.

me by the face and sinks a far dreamier smooch on me that makes everything stop for a full minute. The kind of kiss that makes every stressful feeling melt away, down to your toes, and

and looking like my idea of heaven. I go to say it in response, but hesitate; that little inner me holding back, frowning and I bite my

blurt out instead, deflecting stupidly, with a smile and see him break

hide how horrible it makes me feel to withhold those three little words from him. Hating that after everything, I still can’t just say it to him, even though I know I do. I wave my bag in the air,

***

back to bed and lie down and sleep. My head aches and the last hour was hell on earth as new students pushed and chatted incessantly in the crowded hall. My feet are killing me and my clothes stink of the crappy perfume that Christian was walking around spraying at everyone to make them give him space. No idea where the

I glance up expecting to see him across in the kitchen happily playing with his pots and pans. Instead, the apartment is eerily silent, scarily dark like he’s shut all the blackout

realize there are more candles

is still here and hasn’t left me to wander around like a weirdo. That would be plain odd, a little cruel too if he has just upped and gone out

neck from behind. He must have been in the dining area around by the window and tucked out of sight. I nosey around and see the table from this angle, nestled behind the wall and it’s all lit up with more candles and place settings for two with what looks like two boxes on the table. He takes my bag

to face me. Kissing me lightly on the mouth, his face lit by the flickering lights nearby and almost unrecognizable with the shadows cast on us, but his

grins, running his thumb over my cheek and I mock sucker punch him in the abdomen with the back of my hand.

except surrender as he teases my mouth open a little, cupping my face with large warm hands. Breaking away after sending my body into tingling mush, he rubs his nose against mine softly, eyes still glued on mine and barely a hair’s breadth apart, so his

forget, Sophie, that underneath that very feisty façade, is a girl who needs a special kind of TLC. I take for granted that you love me when really, I should be making you fall in love with me all over again. I forget that you’re not as tough as you make out.” Arrick wrinkles up his nose at the face I’m making; tears stinging my eyes, that he can be this sweet to me, after how I behaved last night. That he has this kind of romance in him, for a guy who seemed like he would always be too cool and emotionally distant to ever pull this card when he was

I sniff softly as tears catch in my throat. Overcome suddenly as this was the last thing I

anymore, but you’re still as fragile, still as easy to hurt. I forget that kind of stuff when faced with my strong sassy diva, and last night reminded me how much I should be protecting you from everything and everyone, sometimes even me.” Arrick swallows hard, emotion hitting him too as he takes

lot more rested than me. I let him lead me to the table and he pulls my usual chair out for me to sit down, the candles illuminating everything clearly over here and I spy the familiar boxes sat in the

box forward impulsively and rip it open to be hit with the smell of the most amazing breakfast ever. Disbelief hitting me full force and

my finger straight into that heavenly sauce, and right into my mouth with a grin. Sheer delight running over me and toes curling from that purely divine taste.

up, but I got you a shake too.” He smiles at me with unconcealed adoration. “I figured I owed you more than a sorry for last night.” He stands up and leans over the table, avoiding a burning candle, to kiss me on the mouth,

unable to contain the sudden rush of emotion at the unexpectedness of it and the heartache

out and comes around the table to kneel beside me, hauling me against him, smoothing back my hair and cradling my face against his throat instantly. I can barely breathe for the gasping cries that

uncontrollably, through howling sobs. Heart shattering, insecurity at an all-time high

won’t ever leave you.” Arrick leans me against him, sliding arms around my shoulders and kissing me on the temple, cradling me and rocking me gently. His tone soft and soothing, reminding me of how many

you said you wouldn’t.” I whimper uncontrollably, tired, unstable and clearly having some sort of hormonal breakdown based on an unexpected romantic overload from the sweetest boyfriend in the world. Technically, this is all his