I take in my tired pale reflection and sigh again as Janetta fusses around out in the lounge laying out my clothes. She offered to come with me to my show after she found me crying and ended up telling her why I was so upset. She tried to defend him, of course she would, as she adores the very ground he walks on, much like most people who know him. I block her out. Just so low, deflated, and empty.

It feels like going to graduation and having none of your loved ones show up for you. Or a birthday bash where your best friend doesn’t bother to show face.

I told her it was okay, I would rather just face this alone, get it done and come home and avoid the after party. Biggest moment in my year just became something I have to endure and wish I didn’t have to go at all. I want it to be over and done with, so I can forget it all.

There’s a knock on the door, even though it’s only eight am and I look around in confusion from my open bedroom door. Janetta toddles up towards the door as I wait with a held breath and slowly emerge to see who the hell would be here at this time. It’s not like we know anyone who would randomly pop by at any hour.

She opens the door to reveal a huge bunch of white roses and that anger spikes again. The rage I have still brewing for my brown eyed prick of a boyfriend comes back with fury.

Arry and his trademark apology that he should know will never work on me, he can go fuck himself for sure. These flowers will go the same way the ones he tried to give me two years ago will go… Right out the god damn window. I hate that he’s trying to redeem himself in this way. Did he really learn nothing from that one time, and here I thought he was a guy who learned a lesson and heeded it!

White flowers? Really? White flag of idiocy.

She goes and takes the bunch of flowers from the delivery man without looking my way and reveals a sight that literally shocks me to the core.

“Hey, hey, beautiful lady.” Christian stands in my doorway with a massive grin and even bigger present between his ankles all wrapped up in silver paper. He’s like a rainbow on a grey cloudy day and I’m overwhelmed with the squeal that comes out of me involuntarily. On my feet fast and racing to him to throw myself into the best hug ever.

“How the… ??? Where did??” I’m speechless, unsure how the hell he got here if Arrick could not get a flight from New York and I’m suddenly crazily over suspicious as I lean back while hanging around his neck.

“Your beloved called me to find out if I was in London yet… Only got in there last night and had to rush to get a flight over here… He didn’t have to bribe me much, but I did make him suffer. What an ass missing your big day and I told him that.” Christian’s my sunny warm day after a shitty cold winter and I have to stifle the sob of relief building up and ready to consume me.

I throw myself back at him, wrapping him up in a much-needed second hug and immediately drop wet tears on my cheek with the sheer happiness at seeing him. That someone I love is here to hold my hand in this. Someone who really matters to me and understands the importance of this day.

help the little sobs that escape me as I do. Christian crushing me half to death with his man

flying solo. Arrick paid for my flights and asked me to bring you this. My little Diva.” He picks up the box at his feet and hands it to me, but I glare

though he sent me one of my best friends, it doesn’t excuse his lack of presence; despite being overjoyed that

Arrick. I can’t

eyes me warily and watches me from the door. Janetta has now pulled him inside so she can close it and wanders

I ask Chris pointedly and watch him visibly

He looks suddenly afraid for the life of the roses and in a second

your own apartment; I don’t want them.” I nod at her as she looks from me to Christian, holds her tongue and nods as she makes her way to the front door instead, to

him.” Christian long ago landed in the love side of Arry and has had split loyalty ever since. I glare coolly at him and shake my head, not

again to finish getting ready. Even though I’m dressed, I need to put on a ton of make up to

could call my cell and

My nerves are stretched so far, they may snap again, and my head is crazily turned inside out. I’m sick, strung out and just not able to cope with the addition of any Arrick Carrero chat about now. His groveling

and coming home to deal with my anger and upset over my dickhead boyfriend who I presume is not coming home anytime soon. When Christian leaves to get his flight back to London, then I will deal with Arry. I know I told him not to come

Stupid girl.

a flight today before dinner. He has some boring thing going on that’s tying him

there, even if I’m ghosting him and refusing to talk. I know him. He will want to come here, but if he has commitments in the form of a meeting or something Carrero related, he’ll stay and hope to come back right after to fix this. His need to do the right thing and not let his family down in business matters will override his need to drop it all and rush back to me.

am so pissed at

Christian eyes me over my shoulder at my reflection in the mirror as I quickly apply my war paint and frown harder. Extra concealer on my blotchy tear

in at six, we don’t need to go until nine, as the show starts at ten… I just need to do this, and we’ll go. My driver is

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