The Carrero Heart - Beginning (Friends to Lovers)

“You need to call Arry and tell him, Baby-girl. You can’t just run out of school and not go back.” Christian is sitting stroking my hair as I lay on the couch with my head on his lap, looking down at me soothingly as I compose myself.

I’ve cried, raged, regretted and so much more. We drunk so much wine everything is swimming around me and I’m just a mess. I’m drunk, and Christian has refused to move even though his flight back to London means he needs to leave soon. He has helped demolish Arry’s expensive collection of booze he likes to stock in his overly expensive wine rack and I just don’t care. I sit up, swaying lightly as I do so and grasp his hand.

“I will, when he comes home… Just right now. I need to let this sink in, and to sleep this off. I need time to think. What if he presses charges? I mean, I assaulted him, Chris” I stare at him imploringly and wipe my hand across my messy face once more. Still reeling from the shock of what went down but number than before. I don’t doubt I look as much of a fright as I feel; there are smears of eyeliner and mascara all over my hands from frantic wiping.

“I doubt he will… Sleazy little weasels like that tend to hide this sort of shit. He could lose his job, Sophie. He made moves on a student. He totally crossed the line.” Christian squeezes my hand and then glances at the clock over my head on the far wall. I know he’s worrying about missing his flight but the kind of friend he is, he will stay here if I need him to stay. He needs to go, he’s on a trip with the New York school and if he doesn’t go back, he could be in serious trouble.

“Go… I’m okay. Your right, I doubt he will, and I really need to lay down and sleep. I’m okay really and I promise, I will call Arry when I wake up, and soon Janetta will be here too. She always comes and goes through the day to clean and keep the house in check and will want to start dinner too. I won’t be alone.”

Christian hesitates then hugs me putting his arms tight around before getting up to move.

“Turn your cell back on, not just for Arry’s benefit, but mine too, Sophie. I’ll call you when I land in London and I won’t be happy if I can’t get through.” He frowns harder and I love how cute he looks this way. I may have limited number of real friends, but the ones I do have are worth their weight in gold. Christian is almost as close to me as Arry and I’m sad that he is leaving me.

“I will when I wake up, Chris. I really think if I go to bed when you go, I may just sleep this day away and wake up tomorrow a ton better. I barely slept last night.” Now I’ve decided I need to be alone and I don’t want the guilt of him missing his flight, I just want him to go. I’m better when I’m left to process things on my own time with space.

“Okay… Pinkie promise?” He holds up his hand in our timeless way, something Arry told him the importance of and I latch my little finger in his and give it a shake.

“Pinkie promise.”

will. I’ll call him if I cannot get hold of you and spill my guts, Sophabelle… I swear I will.” He’s trying to sound threatening, but I throw myself

you for it. Now go. I’m okay, and I swear Arry is going to be told.” I don’t know when, but I

***

with my cell in my hands putting off the moment I switch it back to normal mode and let Arry’s calls and texts flood through. I know there will be a lot, I know him. He isn’t the type to just sit and wait for me to make contact again. He will have left a dozen voicemails and texts and for

still fuming at him for letting me down, even if work held him back and then flights made it impossible. I get that he thought he tried to come back, but he promised me and then he didn’t follow through. Then, to add injury to the wound… he still didn’t come home anyway. I stare at

not ready to get his gushy love texts and apologies right now. I want to yell at him, look him in the face when I cry over his absence and then tell him that due to not being there with me, my creep tutor made a fucking pass at me. My skin is still crawling with his touch, that even a shower and clothes change has not rectified and that slimy breath on my face and the feel of his skin has my body

here to sooth them away either. Scared to go to sleep because I know it’s inevitable. Like somehow

Arry’s presence would have killed Claude’s urge to try at all. Even though to friends Arry is a laid-back boy with a lot of patience and a cool manner, other men seem intimidated by him so effortlessly, as though they can tell

stare at my screen for longer than necessary, at the selfie of us on holiday last summer when he took me to Hawaii. I look happy and carefree and realize I haven’t looked that way in the entire time we’ve stayed here. We’ve barely taken any pictures while being here, not that we’ve had many fun or happy memories we wanted to capture. We have trawled up the Eiffel tower twice and both days it was hellishly cold and rained, we visited the Louvre

and I hate my

and suddenly, I’m itching not to be here anymore at all. Head on my home, my real one, with him in New York and suddenly I want to be there. More than anything in the

my final grade, I don’t need to be there now, and I don’t want to be. I don’t want their offer of another term, with

want to go