The Carrero Heart - Beginning (Friends to Lovers)

I wake up and spread out across the bed lazily, naked and warmly encased in the duvet. Arry’s side of the bed is rumpled and empty as he did eventually get up and go to Carrero house to do whatever it is he needed to get done. I don’t know how long I have slept but I can tell by the grey dullness of the light it has probably been most of the day, if not all, and I have screwed up my bed time for tonight. I feel better though. Less all over the place and just lazily content.

We talked for a good long hour, about everything, about school and Paris, about my mean girls and Claude and he did eventually put me out of my misery and make love to me. It was different, maybe because we poured our hearts out and cleared the air first and by the end, I was an emotional mess and so fragile. It wasn’t passionate or frenzied like normal. It was soft, slow, and intimate and I fell asleep cradled in his arms, listening to his strong heartbeat. Even though we didn’t actually resolve a whole lot yet, I told him things I should have told him all along and we talked about how I have been feeling. Arry reassured me a thousand times and more that his heart and head has never changed where I am concerned, that he loves me, and he always will.

I forgot what this felt like. To wake up home in New York with no worries about school anymore, no stresses or anxiety from bitches around me or Arry running off to catch a flight anywhere else. It just makes up my mind even more that I won’t be taking that extra year in Paris even if Arry does threaten the shit out of one arrogant Mr. Trevaunt. I want to come home, I want to have my life back, be among the places and people I love and to be close to where Arry works once more and have the life we used to have. I liked what we had back then, I could deal with his schedule when it didn’t involve nights apart so often.

I sit up and look round at the familiar space and everything about it that I have missed so much. In my absence Arry has changed nothing at all. Everything exactly as it was before Paris, even the little girly Unicorn trinkets on all the shelves in here and my fluffy throw cushions laying on the floor. It’s like coming home after a long dark trip and I feel nothing of the constant uptight pain in my chest that I get waking up in Paris every day. That constant dark cloud of never knowing if he is going to leave again without much notice. I realize now how often we have clung on to our moments because half the time we don’t know if he will be called back in a hurry and he ups and goes. It’s no way to live our life and I know this is as much on me. I chose to go to school there and he too put his whole life on hold while making sure he got me there.

Angry as I am about my show, Arry has done everything he can to make sure I got my dream of going there and keeping on coming back to me no matter how hectic his schedule. I lost sight of what his life must be like, running around all the time and after just one long trip, I realize how exhausting it all is for him, yet he never really complains. He never calls and says, Sophie, I can’t face another eight-hour flight and should stay here after this week. He always came back as soon as he was done with whatever it was he was doing. He made sure he always brought me back presents or woke me up with sex and kisses.

I have been so hard on him.

“Sophs, Baby? You still in bed?” His voice rings through the apartment and I realize it must be far later than I thought it was. I pull myself out of bed and walk to the bathroom to pick up a robe as Arry swans in, dressed in his shirt and pants, carrying his tie and jacket. He looks crazily sexy and eyes me up appreciatively in all my glory.

“Hey, you, I just woke up.” I yawn as though to prove the point as I pull on the fluffy robe and Arry tosses his clothes aside.

“Hey, you too… Get dressed. We have plans. Some fresh air and a little bit of romance, baby.” He smiles at me and heads straight for his wardrobe pulling out jeans and a sweater and a pair of sneakers. I watch him for a second then head for my case on the floor where he left it for me. Intrigued enough to obey.

“What sort of plans? And how was your meeting thingy? Was Jake and your dad mad at how late you were?” I blink up at him as I scoop for the suitcase and open it on the bed to empty the contents.

“Good ones… Wear something warm as we are eating from your all-time favorite hotdog vendor in Central Park, and… boring, followed by yes, and yes. Not that I care. What could they do? Ground me? Fire me?” Arry pulls his shirt over his head after only half unbuttoning it and I take a moment to check out my sexy beast of a man. Still gorgeously muscular and toned and still sexily tattooed like somehow, I have this weird idea it will change or disappear. He seems to have slowed down on the additions nowadays and kept things on the left side. I shrug at him as if to answer his questions and smile instead.

“I love Central Park. I guess it stopped raining?” I haul out some warm clothes and jeans and start searching under the bed for the old box of shoes I left here that contains about five pairs of sneakers. I never really need them in Paris so left them here.

Locating some baby pink converse, I start pulling my robe open to pull on my underwear and Arry stops to watch me, shamelessly.

“I still can’t believe I get to do naughty things to you any time I please.” He grins and moves closer to trail a finger down from collar bone to breast, but I slap his hand away with a scowl.

“You offered food… You have no chance until you make good on a promise of hot dogs.” I scowl at him and he eyerolls and pulls his pants off to reveal very fitted and sexy boxers that make me rethink that statement.

“I have a hot dog you might wan…”

“Don’t you dare say it… you’re lame and that one is corny as hell. That’s a line for the cringe bucket.” I’m the eye roller this time and shove him in the abs when I get up to fix my bra. He laughs and goes back to pulling casual clothes on.

raining hours ago. I think we have more snow coming.” He slaps my ass as he passes me

the weather is turning bad and a part of me fancies something like that while we are here. Back to normal old us and doing normal things. It would feel like everything is like it was.

have to wait and see.” He winks as he comes back out and hauls a tee from the

I eye him warily, knowing only too well how bad at surprises he is. He has one written all over him and I wonder what the hell he has going on at Central Park. We love going there for idle walking and junk food and we love to stop at the fountain to throw coins in the summer. I have no idea why now he suddenly wants

the cheek before scooping up his sweater and sneakers and heads to the lounge to finish getting ready. I watch his casual relaxed mood

***

have in months. Arrick is on good form tonight, as the sun goes down and New York is still bustling with dog walkers and people strolling the park. He has been making jokes, laughing along with me, attentive as ever. He seems happy to be here in the city again, a lot happier than we are in France and I wonder if he

Arry watches me put away my second hot dog after two corn dogs we had on the way here and I grin while stuffing

yet look like you do.” I poke him in the ab,

the fountain and make a wish?” He grins at me, something really boyish about him tonight

of quarters for every visit.” I remind him of our last trip here where I made three hundred wishes for the most random of things, just so I could keep

you like.” He kisses me on the nose and despite the chilly air his face and lips are still warm, whereas my nose is numb. I snuggle in against him and wrap

fountain… Better hope I am not wishing for a new boyfriend though, or you may be doomed.” I giggle when he tickles me through

anyone with my patience and skill at dealing with you.” Arry follows me as I lead the way and even though I say nothing I know it’s true. I sometimes don’t see how good for me he really is. I should appreciate him more and give

tonight and I pull my gloves off in eager anticipation as I pick a spot at the edge where I can

to accept the handful of coins he dumps in my palm for me to throw, getting a huge smile in

first places in the city that Arry ever brought me, a long time ago, in my first ever real outing here with him. I never forgot the fun we had or how much closer that day brought us. We did exactly this same thing as we are doing now. We ate hot dogs, walked to the fountain where he handed me a crap load of quarters and let me make my wishes. He told me back then that if I made enough of the same wish then it would surely come

I have him.

spot before he steps

wishes in my head as I throw coin after coin; the usual ones like make my mom happier, give Leila a break with her hyper twins, make Jake and Emma stay in love forever and other juvenile nonsense. Crazily mesmerized by the way they slosh and sink so gracefully in the clear water, leaving tiny ripples which grow as they reach the edge. I’ve always been calmed by water and love playing in it. Watching the waves and the splashes and how shiny even the older coins look as they flutter gracefully below the surface. There’s something so pretty about it,

it tight in my palm before

wish that we will always be this happy, always be together. Arry will never leave

Except he’s not there at eye level when I turn around. I have a moment of panic, my chest constricting that he has off and left me, before my eyes are dragged down instinctively and realize he

something and when I hop off the ledge happily, to get down beside him I realize he’s not tying his lace at all. My stomach tightens and my heart somersaults simultaneously.… Arrick is on bended knee as he tilts his chin up to me

We talked about this… He wouldn’t spring it on

on the ground about to do the one thing we agreed to not do for a few years and I suddenly have no clue how to feel. This is the last thing I ever

romantic New Yorkers pushing in to see what’s happening. I swallow hard, throat drying with nerves and I cannot tear my eyes off his. Like a deer in the headlights I am rooted

mine so unsurely. So green as he’s clearly emotional, and it calms my crazy turmoil. Grounding me

height, face to face with only a foot or two between us. I don’t want him to have to speak up for them, this is for my ears only and I need the seat to steady my Jell-O legs right now. My nerves are a mess. “I know lately life has been going to hell, that it seems like we keep arguing and getting upset with each other over dumb shit, but there is one thing that never changes, Sophs… and that’s how I feel about you. If anything, it gets stronger

want to ask you to be my wife. I want to marry you and make you feel secure and adored, because I do adore you. I’m crazy about you. I want the happy ever after I know we can have together. I know we can be happy, because you make my life so much more.” He shifts from one knee to the other, oblivious of the silent ring of people pretending they are not listening in. I guess trying to still his own nerves and my heart is so full to bursting. I think I may self-implode with all the feels he is giving me right now. I love him so much and I never saw this