The Carrero Heart - Beginning (Friends to Lovers)

“I’m nervous.” I call out to Arry, while trying to calm my hands from trembling, taking deep breaths. Standing in my room getting ready, while Arry is in the bathroom styling his hair. I feel sick again, ever since I got up it’s been bad, and the dizziness I’m having with it is knocking me off kilter. I know it’s nerves, but I can’t shake it.

“Don’t be… We are walking out of there with your graduation secured, your record untainted by any possible backlash and hopefully an agreement that today will be the last time you step foot in there. I want that bastard punished. If that’s really what you want, Sophs?” He wanders through, looking sexily smart in his suit and tie and immaculately groomed self. He’s all Mr. Carrero. business mode this morning, even wearing a tie for this, even though he hates them.

“I want this to be over.” I smile at him from my reflection, attempting brave and thank my lucky stars that he will be standing right beside me through this. I don’t know what I would do without him.

He smiles back and brushes his fingers down my hair softly, looking ready to handle anything thrown at him and I’m glad that he talked me into this. I have seen Arry in this mode only from afar and never actually seen him take care of business in any way that directly affected me. He is his father’s son after all, and I can see a change in him this morning with his head focused on our arranged meeting. There is a new aura of authority about him. Mature and business like. I wonder if this is who the people he works with, see every day. I’ve never known anything but the boy who let me under his exterior persona.

“I don’t want to go back if I don’t have to. I don’t want to be around Claude Trevaunt anymore and I am tired of playing good with every bitch in there.” I exhale heavily and lean back against him to give my head a moment of respite. I’m unwell and utterly exhausted with this whole thing. It’s like a dark weight over my head I am so ready to get out from under.

“Then you won’t be. Leave it to me.” He catches me eye in the mirror and winks, softening how stern and business-like he looks, and I smile back again; a little reassured to know that even in Carrero mode, my boy will always be in there.

“Mr. Carrero… Boris has the car downstairs.” Janetta appears at the bedroom door and Arry turns his attention to her for a moment, pushing me up from him to finish what I am doing. I pick up my mascara and apply a last coat with shaky hands, putting a little space back between us.

“Tell him we will be a few minutes. Thanks, Janetta.” He wanders off after her to go fetch his shoes and cell and I try for another calming breath. The nausea won’t subside, and I doubt it will until this is over. I push it down the best I can, like I have been doing since I got out of bed and focus on anything else.

I make a move to follow him and end up having to take a fast left turn instead and run to the bathroom as nausea turns to impending vomit and I barely make it in time.

With my head down the toilet bowl so that I am almost face planking the water, Arry finds me and starts stroking back my hair and rubbing my back. I literally open the flood gates and every ounce of my stomach content exits at speed.

“Baby, what the hell? I didn’t think you were this nervous. Maybe you should stay home and let me do this for you.” He sounds concerned and I can’t stop a second bout of vomit before I get a chance to lift my face up. Grasping the rim of the bowl as I wretch with threats of a third bout of excruciating sickness. I’ve never been good at being ill and tears are already making way down my cheeks with the painful effort. My throat burns, and my stomach is like a washing machine on a spin cycle.

“I’ll be okay in a second.” I manage a few words before I give a third and final upchuck, although this time it’s mainly fluid as my entire breakfast takes a dive into the French sewers. I hold my head against my arm for a few seconds more to be sure I am done, gasping for air and trying to swallow the vile taste before making any sort of a move.

Arrick is still holding back my hair and holding me against him so I am more perched on his knee than the cold tiled floor. I don’t even remember him scooping me up into his lap this way. I lean off him to flush the toilet and end up slumped down on my knees for a moment as I try to stop the swimming in my head, his arms are immediately around me to catch me before I topple over.

“Nope … You’re staying here.” Arry’s hand comes to my forehead as he feels my temperature, props me against the toilet once more and waits until I am steady, with my head on the rim before he walks off to get me a glass of water from the faucet. He hands me that and a damp, cool cloth for my face and comes back to kneel beside me, gently taking me back against him.

“I need to face this.” I answer weakly, his eyes honed on me and he looks unconvinced.

“You threw up spectacularly, baby. Only place you are going is back to bed. Janetta is here, she can watch you while I’m gone. It’s not a suggestion, it’s an order.” Arry is in bossy mode, clearly. I do not have the energy to argue, but I have to do this with him. My body has decided to give up on me and the swell of heat rising from my feet to my cheeks convinces me that maybe he is right.

“I think I will lie down for a few minutes, then I’ll be okay.” I sigh softly and squeak when he scoops me up into his arms, giving me no chance to refuse and carries me back to our bedroom.

“I won’t be long. I can handle this, and you are staying put. Do you need me to fetch you a bowl in case you have to throw up again?” Arry frowns at me, I can tell he’s dissecting my face for signs of deathly disease and shake my head. I don’t want him to fight these kinds of battles for me. I should be there.

“I can manage to the bathroom. Arrick I’m not staying here.” I lay out flat, glad to be horizontal as the dizziness starts to recede again. I don’t feel anywhere near as bad as I did moments ago, and my stubborn self is not about to let this go.

“Janetta… Sophie is sick…” Arrick calls out and wanders off mid yell, leaving me in the bedroom. I hear him finish his spew of orders on ‘how best to care for my Princess’ carry on in the other room as I stare at the white ceiling and take some comfort from our cool bedding. I won’t stay here while he’s facing my tutor; it should be me. I know he’s ignoring me and my protests, he’s good at that when he thinks he knows best.

He comes back with a fresh glass of iced water and some aspirin, a bowl and a fresh cloth and lays them on the bedside.

“She will take care of you until I’m back. I really won’t be long. I know exactly how this is going to go down. He’s not the first sleazy asshole I have had to deal with, Sophs. I have fired many in my time; Carrero Corp has a staunch policy on sexual harassment that Jake implemented a few years back. It’s an instant dismissal incorporated in all contracts.” Arrick is in determined mode. Kisses me on the cheek, strokes my face as he once again scans me with concern.

“Arrick!” I catch his wrist as he goes to move away and force him to look at me as I struggle to sit up.

“What?” Edgy tone, he knows I’m about to argue the point and when he is in ‘I know best’ mode, he can be a stubborn, grumpy ass.

“It’s my fight… I need to face it. I can’t be some weak girl who hides behind her boyfriend when some creep tries to abuse me.” I get half upright and dizziness hits me again, stopping me mid-air.

“Is that what you think? That by letting me do this it somehow makes you weak? Sophs… Baby?” He sighs and comes to sit beside me, pushing me back down gently, all resistance in his voice softened. I don’t fight him, glad to be laying down again. “No one would ever call you weak. You’re still my little warrior, still the girl who faced a complete evil shithead face on and put him away. You disabled a full-grown man because he tried to touch you. That’s not weak.” He can’t hide the sound of pride in his tone and that tiny twinge of a smile.

“I only did what you taught me. Now I’m letting you go without me.” I don’t know why this matters this much, but it does. His words are not helping me change my mind or taking away this feeling in me that I should be there.

it’s me, then there’s no need … I stood beside you every day in court, I watched you pull yourself through years of therapy and pain and come out of it with a smile on your face and an ability to let me love you intimately. You don’t have anything to prove to anyone. You have no idea how amazing you are, how much strength it takes to survive and move on the way you have.” He strokes back

prove that I didn’t ask for this… I didn’t want him to touch me.” My voice breaks with emotion that comes out of nowhere, a sudden pang of aggression and it startles me more than him. I get that instant overwhelming

me without your permission… I never thought to ask if this was affecting you on a deeper level… I’m sorry… Talk to me.” Arrick climbs over and lays on the bed beside me, despite wearing a suit he will wrinkle and mess up, and pulls

do this shit to me? Why do they think it’s okay to lay hands on a girl just because they want to?” Tears sting and my throat aches with the feeble voice that escapes me, I have been trying to not let it get to me this way since it happened but it’s all coming out

way. Some men are scum of the earth and should be castrated. It’s never okay in any situation to do what he did. Let me do this, Sophs. Let me redeem myself for not being there, for not protecting you. If I was where I was meant to be, then none of this would have happened and you wouldn’t be feeling like this now.” Arrick leans

think he probably would have still tried if he got me alone, even if you were there. He’s scum, you’re right.” I reach up and smooth the frown of his brow softly to try and shift the look

of fierce is still there in his eye and it makes me smile, lifting my

don’t recommend that action today though. Even if it would make you feel better.” I

all it would take is him looking your way and I would snap. I want to do this in a way that I don’t get arrested and yet that fucker knows to

You would probably keep your cool more if I wasn’t

the forehead. Straying a moment and I know he’s checking to see how hot I

So transparent.

I swear.” I motion with a cross over my heart and try for a weak smile.

glad I don’t have to tie you to the bed.” That glint in his eye even though he’s not

and if I recall, we kinda liked it. I prefer when it’s you that’s tied

revisit some tying to the bed.” He winks this time and swoops in for a goodbye kiss on the mouth, despite the fact I threw up. I grimace and shove his face away with

do it first. Bagsies.” I poke him in the face

happy, just take it easy on how tight you sling me up. I lost all feeling in my wrists and feet last time; you can be savage sometimes.” He’s up on his feet now, smoothing down his suit and it doesn’t look wrinkled at all.

The un-wrinkable boyfriend.

to my side to get comfy and checking to see how sick I still feel now that

it rough, but I also like to still use my

it rough as long as you are still a little gentle with me.”

involves your cat like aggression then sure, I like it rough as long as it results in no permanent serious injury.” He turns to wink at me before scooping up his

beat down.” I lift a hand up in the air to motion him back to me

over his face and I can’t help the little giggle that escapes me. I know he’s only semi joking and the thought of some kinky Arrick time is raising my temperature in a

into that… Maybe. Depends on how much

whole lot.” The response is fully serious this time,

mouth to wave him away. I don’t want to get all

it gives you a great outlet

sometimes. That inner doubt that sometimes creeps up that maybe I am not normal. That my past colored my sexual appetite and he plays

we weird? Unhealthy weird and plain… Strange?” I ask

healthy and normal, and our sex life is probably a lot more adventurous than most.” He throws back that sexy smile, the one with the dimples, but it doesn’t ease

you think

guess after all that’s happened these past months, I am still feeling insecure enough to worry. Worry that I’m abnormal,

he winks naughtily

You don’t think I’m weird because sometimes I

while taking me from behind. The rougher the better and I climax like crazy during those sessions. I still remember the first time I let him cuff me to the bed and screw me

Yes. I’m a freak.

and when it’s kinky and rough. I miss it when we go through long periods of no kink—I happen to get crazy turned on when you start scratching me up

relief. He’s maybe a

when I start making the pushy moves and taking control. He also doesn’t last as long as he gets overexcited but always gets hard for

pulls up a bag from the side of the bed and have to squirm to get my hormones under control. For being sick I am getting so easily heated up

I have to get you drunk?” he has permanent dimples

I warn him. Confused that I can go from sick to upset and horny in three

hell is wrong

to go and, baby, unleashing your beast made all my dreams come true.

another kiss on the head and this time he pulls a throw