The Carrero Heart - Beginning (Friends to Lovers)

“Stop fucking telling me to push. I AM FUCKING PUSHING!” I scream at our doctor as she pats my leg and throws me a haughty look and Arry takes my hand and tries to turn possessed rage to face him. My body is turning itself inside out with a pain they no way in hell prepared me for and the stupid women is getting on my very last nerve. Sweating, heaving, and panting and trying to not break my teeth with every wave of bone gnawing agony that rips through me. The room is coming down on me and I have lost all concept of time.

“Baby… Breathe, count with me, look at me. You’re doing so well. Just breathe and relax a little.” He’s stroking me, trying to get me through this, being sane and calm while my doctor and her nurse are making me crazy. I’m trying so hard, but I was not expecting this to be so traumatic. I don’t think I can do it. It feels like we have been here days and I am so overheated and achy that even my teeth are sore.

“It hurts… So much.” I start crying again and he pulls my face against his, pushing our noses together while wiping my tears.

“I know it does. I can see how much pain you’re in, but you’re amazing. You’re doing so well, and I need you to stay with this so it will all be over soon. You can do this.”

Arrick looks like Arrick. Calm, controlled and I know it’s because his master of all things unemotional mask is in place and holding his shit together for me to fall apart. I don’t think that pushing something that big out of my Va-Jayjay is natural at all. I mean, Arrick may be well endowed but sometimes even he is pretty filling, I have no clue how a fucking head is going to work its way down that same exit hole.

“You do it. I don’t want to have a baby anymore.” I whisper hopelessly, and he breaks into a smile, a hint of dimples that I impulsively reach up and touch.

“Bit late for that. I can promise you though, no more. One is plenty, and I don’t think either of us want to endure this again. I love you.” He lifts up and kisses my forehead, wiping my clammy brow as I start to pant through more pain, grinding my teeth and gripping his hand with brutal force as it hits me.

Do they not know how much this fucking hurts?

I am being twisted inside out with every pain, which is now pretty much a constant and I am so hysterical they even thought of tying me to the bed. I think if it wasn’t for Arrick standing guard they probably would have. The temptation to kick someone in the face is all I can focus on.

It’s been days. Well, hours. But it feels like days, endless days and I can’t handle this. I grab the gas mask from him again and hold it tight to my face as another body aching surge of agony grips me and I can hear the mumblings of ‘Push Sophie’ from the other women in the room.

“No more babies! … I will… Literally … Castrate… You… Myself!” I pant at him through gasps and tears and grunts. My doctor raises an eyebrow my way but Arrick grins and shrugs.

I agree.” He charms her with

inside my own bubble with my pain. I’m pushing, trying anyway and I want this agony to end. It feels like a huge hot poker is being forced up my

Sophie.” The Midwife orders even when I glare at her

faster.” Arrick looks endearing, despite the words coming out of his mouth and I blanche at him. Inhaling gas, trying to keep my head in the game and your

it all I have in me and push like a crazy person. Not even sure my body can handle any more of

Is this really happening?

head, Sophie. One more push and it will come free. One more, good girl. You can do it.” Doctor. Annoying. is filtering through, with every face looking my way and I screw my eyes shut to focus on what I am doing. Every aching push I make. Grinding down, grunting like a pig, and trying

It’s only fair he gets even an ounce of what this feels like and I am sure he

and panting, gripping it to

come to quickly. It only lasts as long as you breath it in, and I realize he’s smiling at me as I slide and slump back onto the bed from the clouds above, as all my limbs become re-attached. Getting heavier and more lucid with every passing second. Arrick kisses me on the lips and strokes back my sweat clinging hair from my hot

swoops in and kisses me on the mouth again, even though I vomited from it like half an hour ago. I can’t seem to

What’s wrong with him?

can hold your little one.” The nurse looks at me with the first smile of the day and I stare at them in disbelief, pain is fading so fast, the wracking contractions and unbearable ripping is too. It all feels a little surreal and I try to catch my breath. I don’t even feel myself pushing much as she

Yep, she’s mine.

No doubt about it.

tiny little fair-haired bundle who stops crying the second she is in my arms and I hold her close. Little eyes flicker and blink at me in a perfect little face that looks a lot like Arrick, and I instantly fall in love. Overwhelming

what we made.” I croak at Arry as he nuzzles close and kisses her on the back of the head. Running gentle fingers over her tiny skull. She gazes up at him and I swear I see a hint of a smile, even if

did. She’s as beautiful as her mommy.” Arrick kisses me on the forehead again and holds us both close in an awkward embrace, bringing all three of our faces together as close as he can as we breathe in the tiny perfection of her. It’s like all the months of bickering and

and his weird flat eyebrows, a little button nose and a tiny puckered mouth as she stares at me with utter bewilderment and probably wonders what she