The Porter Theater proudly presents:

Halloween Horror Hijinks

Our classic Horrorfest Matinee this evening: Dracula, The Mummy, The Creature from the Black Lagoon. And our special engagement, Fritz The Cat.

Jeremiah, along with a host of perhaps several others sporadically spread throughout the theater, sat quietly and watched as the cartoon cat and his girlfriend caroused and frolicked before engaging in an orgy of cartoon sex. Jeremiah was seated in the second to the last row.

Jeremiah, with his right hand inside his pants, massaged his organ from side to side, all the while keeping a watchful eye on anyone who may have been passing by in his vicinity. The man wasn't all too troubled by the fact that he was inside a movie theater pleasuring himself; all that mattered to him was the climax. As far as Jeremiah was concerned he was the only person there. His attention was rattled, but not to where he felt the need to tear himself away from the screen ahead. He jerked and pulled faster until the orgasm struck his entire body, causing him to jolt slightly in his seat and shut his eyes.

Once Jeremiah was through with the elation, he opened his eyes and pulled his hand out of his pants before composing himself. He then looked at the other men inside the theater to find them all either steadily watching the film or slumped over asleep.

Jeremiah nervously took off his glasses and wiped the lenses before placing them back onto his face. He then happened to glance behind him at the empty row which even in the darkness he could see was still unoccupied.

The moment his curiosity was sated he turned back around to spot a man coming back into the theater from the lobby with a box of popcorn in hand. The man kept on walking until he found his seat clear down at the very front row. Behind Jeremiah, however, someone so stealthy materialized in the very last seat in the row. It was none other than Isaac Mercer, dressed in an all-black suit and tie. The man's face was downcast in the darkness as he stared straight over at an unassuming Jeremiah, and only Jeremiah.

Jeremiah kept watching the screen with a blank lethargy, as if his eternal time was being wasted. On the back of his neck he could feel a sudden brush of cool air caressing him. He budged only an inch or two without taking a glance behind him. Soon enough, however, his own boredom got the best of him. The cool air on his neck was gradually becoming a nuisance, along with the idiocies of an animated hippie cat and his misadventures.

Jeremiah stood up from his seat and simply dragged his body out of the row and eventually out of the theater altogether. He passed the concession stand in the lobby on his way out the door and into the night to find some white and black teenagers standing around laughing and hanging out.

Jeremiah zipped up his jacket and carried on past the young ones on the way to his Camaro that was parked in the lot. The very instant Jeremiah got inside a heavy blanket of quiet stroked his body. He sat and soaked in its luster for as long as he could before the boisterous noises of the kids from across the parking lot laughing out loud disrupted his calm. That was when the cool air began to creep inside the vehicle. Jeremiah turned on the ignition before giving the theater one final glimpse. He did what he had to do inside; he was pleased with himself, if not for only a few minutes. And with that, the man pulled out of the lot and onto the road.

The section of town he was driving in wasn't exactly the most desirable, even though there were far worse. He was only five minutes away from Downtown, which meant that he wasn't all too far from his own home; the very last place on earth he wanted to end up.

As he tooled along Jeremiah couldn't help but to be whipped across the back of his neck by more cool air. Rather than turn around he simply cut on the heat inside the car and allowed its warm breath to whisper into his face. But still, the stifling coolness from the backseat continued to press against his skin.

Jeremiah came to a stop at a traffic light. Just as he was about to spin around his eyes suddenly caught a collection of brightly clad women all standing together in a huddle at a nearby corner. The very second Jeremiah spotted one particular lady he immediately flicked his headlights off and on before looking all around and carefully pulling over towards the curb. He reached over and rolled down the window. Checking from left to right Gwen came over dressed in a pair of red, high-heeled boots and a black fur coat.

"Hey, buddy, can you get me outta here?" She poked her blushing red face through the open window.

"You betcha," Jeremiah replied while unlocking the door.

Gwen swiftly jumped into the car and slammed the door shut. "You remember what we talked about the other night about going to your place, right?"

Pulling back onto the road, Jeremiah hesitantly replied with a gulp, "Uh...yeah, I remember. That's not a problem."

"Good, because it's getting too hot even out here," Gwen griped while taking a tube of lipstick from out of her purse and marking her lips with it in the rearview mirror. "Just last night, a girlfriend of mine was taken in."

"Really," Jeremiah sounded concerned.

"Yep, she has two kids she has to feed, too. Poor girl, this is all she needs, the fuzz breathing down her neck for working."

Jeremiah just shamefully shook his head from side to side while relishing in his mind what he needed to do later on. The thought of going back to his apartment again had been lingering about inside his head for days. And sitting there right next to Gwen's warm and willing body didn't make his decision any more desirable.

Sighing, Gwen blurted out, "Look, about the other night, I didn't mean to come off so rude."

Coming back to life, Jeremiah smirked, "Oh...don't worry about it."

"No, no, I know I can be a real asshole sometimes, but you just have to understand that I'm not used to nice guys in this business."

"Don't mention it. I guess we Jewish folk have a knack for running our mouths a little too much."

"You're Jewish?" Gwen looked over astonished.

"Uh, yeah," Jeremiah replied in a rather apprehensive way.

"Geez," Gwen giggled. "Don't take offense to this, but I honestly thought you were German at first."

Jeremiah laughed out loud before saying, "That's a trip!"

"Yeah, tell me about it!" Gwen laughed right back. "So tell me, how did you end up finding me out here of all places? What, do you have one of those Lost in Space trackers or something?"

continued to smile. "Actually, I was at The Porter

that wasn't

to think that I'm following you or keeping tabs

asked, "So are you saying that I'm

glanced her way. "You've put up with me this

feel any better, you're my favorite,

Jeremiah laughed again.

this time of the year." Gwen clasped her hands together in a rubbing motion. "Halloween and cool nights. C'mon, let's turn

forward and cut on the radio. Instantly, Queen's,

I'm talking about!" Gwen burst out in enthusiasm. "At least they're not playing that stupid Star Wars song for the umpteenth time! God, I've had it up to here

Jeremiah just kept on down the road that eventually led to the highway while keeping an anxious eye on the portion of Gwen's legs that wasn't covered by

"I've never been much of a fan of British rock, but these guys aren't too bad." Gwen stated. "Listening to this while standing around on the corner could definitely keep a

you mean." Jeremiah stared a moment at

warm, how is it that you have the heat on in here and it still

at the occurrence, but all he could think of doing was turning the heater up

The more he fiddled with the heater, the cooler it seemed to become inside

further do

about ten more

"Good, because it feels almost like winter in here," Gwen blew into

as well...it was

climbing out of Jeremiah's car. "I

door behind him, Jeremiah reluctantly sighed, "Sometimes we become so overwhelmed to where listening to

"Well, I guess that would explain the nice car." Gwen surmised as she followed Jeremiah towards the

jittery attention on the building which he was drawing closer and closer to with every passing

coming out of the front door laughing and joking around. Both Jeremiah and Gwen passed them on the way inside. Jeremiah dropped his head and made sure they were just simple blurs in the

been coming

been doing some...construction around here. The paint smell

right into his throat. The doors flung open so quickly that he thought the elevator itself wasn't operating properly. Stepping out and onto the floor, Gwen continued to be overtaken by the grandeur of the unspoiled white walls and newly shampooed

"This place is a palace." Her eyes bugged out. "I guess shrinks really do

his hands inside his jacket pockets, Jeremiah bashfully murmured, "Yeah, but

"Why not,"

unemployed." He shrugged his shoulders. "I kinda left my other practice abruptly. If I don't find something by

Snickering, Gwen replied, "Then that means

Glancing back, Jeremiah haplessly remarked, "Yeah, tell

was found on the left side of the wall. Instantly the entire living room was illuminated in a dull, soothing light from corner

your coat?" Jeremiah offered, taking her

toured the sizable living room which was furnished with a big screen television,

at

down, Gwen

the other couch and took off towards the kitchen. "I've got

"Budweiser

and brought it back into the living room where Gwen

bottle. "Hey, I know it's late, but do you think I can catch the news real quick? I promise I

responded, "Sure, go ahead. I gotta go and clean up a bit in the

bathroom. He turned on the light inside the tiny room and quickly took a leak inside the toilet before stepping over to the sink, grabbing a dry rag and scrubbing his midsection. Once he was through cleansing himself, he tossed the wet rag into a nearby basket and turned to catch the one thing in the mirror that had seized him so violently...his reflection. The man stood at the sink and studied himself for the longest time. His overgrown beard and red eyes made him appear as though he hadn't taken a wink of rest in weeks. Ever so sullenly he reached into his back pocket to pull out a

all of the sudden disrupted Jeremiah's brooding. Immediately he dropped Julie's

guy." Jeremiah petted the purring animal. "Sorry I was gone for so

short with your kitchen lights!" Gwen said out

Subtly alarmed, Jeremiah, with his cat in his arms, came back into the living room

arms and embraced it in her own. "My grandkids want

you saying

just sitting here watching TV and then the lights in there started

Jeremiah looked straight into the kitchen to see the lights remain stationary. "I just changed the

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