It hadn’t felt like giving herself to Christian. Giving implied bestowing a favour, not the hot mix of desire and need that had made her desperate for his touch.

She could still feel and taste the heady heat of his breath...

But now she was stone-cold sober, her immunity back in its rightful place. Vivid memories might have the power to jolt her senses but they didn’t have the power to knock her off balance. No man would ever have that power. Her body might have a Pavlovian response to him but intellectually and emotionally she was safe.

When they married he could see whoever he wanted. It made no difference to her. All she cared about was her baby. As long as her baby made it safely into this world, nothing else mattered.

Maybe when her baby was placed in her arms, her own place on this earth would make sense.

Maybe then she would lose the feeling she’d carried her entire life that she should never have been born.

* * *

Alessandra’s demeanour, an almost imperceptible straightening of

good. She

and silver ankle boots with a slight heel. Heavy costume jewellery in shades of red hung round her neck and wrists, large, hooped gold earrings in

the same: chic and beautifully put together, the walls and furniture muted but the furnishings bold and colourful. Giant prints

third-floor apartment in the heart of Milan’s fashion district was not a feasible place to bring up a child. He’d raised the subject of her selling it on the phone

used to the idea before discussing it

ready to go?’ he

lips drawing together. ‘Let’s get this over

where his driver waited for them, her yellow Vespa gleamed from its parking space. ‘I hope you’re not riding on that thing any

into the

followed her in, a pang hitting his stomach as he recalled the big beam on her face the one time he’d seen her ride on it—the day of their impromptu

car started to move, she turned to look at him, a set look on her face. ‘Christian, let me make one thing quite clear. You are going to be my

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