The Impact of You

Jase

I know I should’ve come clean before now. It’s part of the reason why I didn’t let our physical relationship go too far yet. Knowing that I still hadn’t told her about my night with Stacia while we weren’t talking held me back. I know Avery won’t like it, and since we’ve agreed to complete honesty, I also know it makes me a jackass.

Once we reach my room, I shut the door behind us and turn to face her. Her hands are balled into fists, like she’s bracing herself.

“Sit down, babe.”

She looks unsure, but slips off her shoes and crosses the room to sit on the edge of my bed. I pull a deep breath into my lungs, trying to find the words to explain this mess in a way that doesn’t cause her to flip out. I sit down beside her and take her hand. It’s limp. Shit. This isn’t going to go well. “When you and I…weren’t talking…Stacia started coming around again.”

Her eyes betray her emotions, and begin to fill with tears even before I get to the heart of the story.

“We got pretty drunk one night…and um…” Shit. I can’t say it.

“Tell me,” she whispers, her voice broken.

“We didn’t have sex, but…” I pause, drawing another breath. “She sort of started to go down on me….”

Her eyes fly to mine. I remember the time that I admitted to Avery that was my favorite, and I know she’s remembering that too. I also know she’s fully aware that it’s something she and I haven’t even done together. I feel like a complete prick. I never want to see this look in her eyes again.

She swallows roughly. “I see.”

“Whistle, I’m sorry, but we weren’t talking…”

She rips her hand from mine and stands suddenly. “We weren’t talking because you didn’t want me, because you thought I was cheap and easy because of those stupid pictures. But you know what? You’re no better than I am!” She grabs her purse and slips her feet back into her shoes. “I need to go home.”

“Avery…wait…”

breaks from her throat and

least let me drive you home.

I’ll call someone.” She fishes her phone out and dials. “Madison,” she sobs. “Come get me. I’m

the call and leaves,

Shit fuck.

after our last fight. I need to make this right tonight. I race downstairs after her, but she’s nowhere to be found in the sea of bodies. Heading out into

my keys from my pocket and cross around the side of my house, heading straight for my car. I can’t leave things like this between us. Won’t. We’ve wasted too much

race across campus to her dorm, arriving breathless from the three mile jog. I have to wait for someone to let me in, but get lucky and slip

the door open just a crack, her face

“Is Avery here?”

want to see you.” She pushes the door closed, but

her, please. Avery,” I

eyes, giving in, and lets me enter the room. “Just talk to him. I can’t handle you two,” she

bed, hugging a pillow to her chest. And she’s been crying. Pain stabs at my chest.

to Noah’s.” The door

get any closer, I just watch her. Her eyes are guarded and her hands clutch the pillow

swallow the lump in my throat, praying she’ll listen to

her chest, a physical barrier between us. “It’s your favorite, right? And I wasn’t giving it to you, so…” She doesn’t finish, but her eyes drop to the bed in front of

the bed, so we’re eye-level. “I am sooo sorry. That was a huge mistake. I was just feeling hurt and betrayed that you hadn’t told me, and as bad as it sounds,

to stop me. “I don’t need a play by play.

take that night back, I would. And I wanted to tell you. That night in Denver in the hotel, I wanted to tell you, but you

blinks up at me. “Is

“Gone farther physically?”

She nods.

wanted to make sure everything was out in the open with us first.”