“Nicholas.”

I was dreaming. I must have been close to waking up to be so lucid.

I stood in my old room at the Academy. Nicholas had his back to me, his hand on the door handle. A

familiar curl of dread was growing in my stomach. A dull, physical ache rested behind my ribs.

This was the moment I had broken up with him.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“Save it.” His voice was rough. I’d hurt him, but he didn’t want to admit it. He wouldn’t let me see.

“Nick, please –”

“Don’t call me that.” He pulled the handle and the door swung open. The light of the hall was blinding.

compared to the dimness of the room.

I had wanted to stop him. I wanted to take back everything, and bring him into my arms again.

But I couldn’t.

newborn baby waiting for me, and the loss of

I forced myself to relive the moment,

body crumpled, just as it had that day.

I’d done, and what it had cost

night, before I pulled myself

looked back.

stared at the silk canopy above my borrowed bed. Beside

half–pressed into

for a long time, as I pressed the memories

belonged.

the door, and the two maids entered. I pulled

was the day of the candidates‘ first public appearance.

derfdat

final selection, but I had decided

to eat three full meals a day again. I was already regaining some of the weight I’d lost. My ribs weren’t

with wolves, but now I could

exhausted.

green gowns with faux wildflowers stitched

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