“Nicholas.”

I was dreaming. I must have been close to waking up to be so lucid.

I stood in my old room at the Academy. Nicholas had his back to me, his hand on the door handle. A

familiar curl of dread was growing in my stomach. A dull, physical ache rested behind my ribs.

This was the moment I had broken up with him.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“Save it.” His voice was rough. I’d hurt him, but he didn’t want to admit it. He wouldn’t let me see.

“Nick, please –”

“Don’t call me that.” He pulled the handle and the door swung open. The light of the hall was blinding.

compared to the dimness of the room.

I had wanted to stop him. I wanted to take back everything, and bring him into my arms again.

But I couldn’t.

baby waiting for me, and the

wanted to awaken, but I forced myself to relive the

it had that day. I’d

him to know what I’d done, and what it had cost

had cried long into the night, before I pulled myself together, left

looked back.

eyes and stared at the silk

half–pressed into

long time, as I pressed the

belonged.

the

the day of the candidates‘ first public appearance. We had to get ready.

derfdat

wouldn’t win the final selection, but I had decided to try to stay as long

of the weight I’d lost. My ribs weren’t quite so visible anymore. Each day, I was

strong as those with wolves, but now I could at least last a full day without

exhausted.

after my shower. Elva and I had matching light green gowns with faux wildflowers stitched

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