“Nicholas.”

I was dreaming. I must have been close to waking up to be so lucid.

I stood in my old room at the Academy. Nicholas had his back to me, his hand on the door handle. A

familiar curl of dread was growing in my stomach. A dull, physical ache rested behind my ribs.

This was the moment I had broken up with him.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“Save it.” His voice was rough. I’d hurt him, but he didn’t want to admit it. He wouldn’t let me see.

“Nick, please –”

“Don’t call me that.” He pulled the handle and the door swung open. The light of the hall was blinding.

compared to the dimness of the room.

I had wanted to stop him. I wanted to take back everything, and bring him into my arms again.

But I couldn’t.

for me, and the loss

I wanted to awaken, but I forced myself to relive

as it had that day. I’d hid my pain in front

what I’d done, and what

before I pulled myself together, left the

looked back.

and stared at the silk canopy above my borrowed bed. Beside me, Elva

half–pressed into

as I

belonged.

door, and the two maids entered. I pulled

the candidates‘ first public appearance. We had to get ready. Everything had

derfdat

I wouldn’t win the final selection, but I had decided to try to stay as long as I could,

some of the weight I’d lost. My ribs weren’t

now

exhausted.

matching light green gowns with faux wildflowers

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