“Nicholas.”

I was dreaming. I must have been close to waking up to be so lucid.

I stood in my old room at the Academy. Nicholas had his back to me, his hand on the door handle. A

familiar curl of dread was growing in my stomach. A dull, physical ache rested behind my ribs.

This was the moment I had broken up with him.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“Save it.” His voice was rough. I’d hurt him, but he didn’t want to admit it. He wouldn’t let me see.

“Nick, please –”

“Don’t call me that.” He pulled the handle and the door swung open. The light of the hall was blinding.

compared to the dimness of the room.

I had wanted to stop him. I wanted to take back everything, and bring him into my arms again.

But I couldn’t.

a newborn baby waiting for me, and the loss of

I wanted to awaken, but I forced myself to relive

crumpled, just as it had that day. I’d hid my pain in

know what I’d done, and what it had cost

had cried long into the night, before I pulled myself together, left the Academy,

looked back.

eyes and stared at the silk canopy above my borrowed bed. Beside me,

into

a long time, as I pressed the memories back

belonged.

sounded on the door, and the two maids entered. I pulled myself

was the day of the candidates‘ first public appearance. We had

derfdat

selection, but I had decided to try to stay as long as I

was nice to eat three full meals a day again. I was already regaining some of the weight I’d lost. My ribs weren’t quite so visible anymore. Each day, I was gaining more

never be as strong as those with wolves, but now I could at least last a full day without being

exhausted.

faux wildflowers stitched into the skirt. Elva wanted to wear a flower crown to match, but

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