Chapter 191

Ella

My nightmares were worse than ever before the night after my second session with Leon, and I wake thrashing in my nest, with Phil!ppe hovering above me, shaking me vigorously. I shriek and recoil, and he backs away from me with his hands outstretched in apology. “It’s okay, I’m sorry.” He breathes, ‘I didn’t know how else to wake you.”

I gulp in a few gasps of air, trying to calm my racing heart. Rafe sends flashes of concern through our bond, and I immediately grab my phone, turning on the recording of Sinclair’s purrs.

This is getting out of hand, Ella.” Phil!ppe scolds, still standing over the bed.

I’ve got it under control.” I insist.

“You don’t.” He cuts, and I can’t, in good conscience, let this continue.”

(You’re my personal guard, Phil!ppe.” I remind him in the sternest voice I can summon, “It’s a very intimate relationship and there has to be trust between us. You hear everything I do, everything I say – whether I’m sick to my stomach or on the phone with my mate. This is a private matter which you are only privy to because of your position and I have to be able to trust you won’t betray my privacy, otherwise this arrangement won’t work”

I may be your personal guard, but I still answer to the Alpha and he wouldn’t approve of this.”

Phil!ppe counters, crossing his arms over his c.hest.

“You also agreed to help us with the hypnosis behind his back.” I remind him, Now do you want to tell him that I ordered you not to say a word about any of it and you obeyed out of respect for our relationship, or do you want to tell him you were fine with being disloyal to him only until you had reason to be disloyal to me?”

Phil!ppe narrows his eyes, I don’t like you very much right now.

‘Right back at you.” I respond, clambering to my feet. “But I appreciate your honesty.”

He growls as I move towards the door. “Where are you going?”

To find someone cuddlier than you.” I toss back over my shoulder, pulling on my robe and feeling thankful that I’d gone against Sinclair’s wishes and continued wearing pajamas while he’s away. Of course, I know he’ll be disappointed that I missed another dream date, but when I get lost in my night terrors, there’s no way to find him. I pad through the halls to Cora’s bedroom, not bothering to tap on the door before entering.

She stirs as I climb into bed with her, m0aning sleepily, Ella?”

up to her and sighing as her arms come

course,” She agrees without

want to

do.” I confess, “I just want to be

phenomenon. I nod pitifully, and

and a bleary-eyed

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with me,

her

out of the corner of my eye, and I nudge her,

replies softly. “I mean I’m not happy you’re having nightmares, I just like

me all the time.”

the one to Scare away the monsters in

well, the monsters aren’t staying in

shake my head n0, and I catch a note of exasperation in her voice. “You don’t always have to

you think? That I enjoy playing the martyr? Sacrificing myself to fulfill some self-righteous

reason.” She answers apologetically, “but whatever your motives, you do have a habit of hogging all the worst things in life for yourself. You

resent me for it, at least, not the way she had the last time we

my sister, it’s my job to hog the

I wasn’t strong enough to take care of you.” I suspect Cora has done a lot of thinking since our fight earlier this year, because rather than accusing me of making her weak by coddling her, she’s admitting

matter that you were older. I’m a wolf.”

what, you age in

able to survive things you couldn’t ….I don’t add that I may have been destined to as well, the

lost your wolf.” Cora declares, surprising me. “Do you think I didn’t

couldn’t stand to see the people I

bad thing to be selfish sometimes, Elle, to put yourself first every now and then.

selfish lately.” I confess, thinking of my behavior with Sinclair, and even my thoughtlessness about the human impact of our war, my failure to see how this tumult was affecting Cora. “And part of me enjoyed it, having someone who made me feel safe enough to explore

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