Chapter 191

Ella

My nightmares were worse than ever before the night after my second session with Leon, and I wake thrashing in my nest, with Phil!ppe hovering above me, shaking me vigorously. I shriek and recoil, and he backs away from me with his hands outstretched in apology. “It’s okay, I’m sorry.” He breathes, ‘I didn’t know how else to wake you.”

I gulp in a few gasps of air, trying to calm my racing heart. Rafe sends flashes of concern through our bond, and I immediately grab my phone, turning on the recording of Sinclair’s purrs.

This is getting out of hand, Ella.” Phil!ppe scolds, still standing over the bed.

I’ve got it under control.” I insist.

“You don’t.” He cuts, and I can’t, in good conscience, let this continue.”

(You’re my personal guard, Phil!ppe.” I remind him in the sternest voice I can summon, “It’s a very intimate relationship and there has to be trust between us. You hear everything I do, everything I say – whether I’m sick to my stomach or on the phone with my mate. This is a private matter which you are only privy to because of your position and I have to be able to trust you won’t betray my privacy, otherwise this arrangement won’t work”

I may be your personal guard, but I still answer to the Alpha and he wouldn’t approve of this.”

Phil!ppe counters, crossing his arms over his c.hest.

“You also agreed to help us with the hypnosis behind his back.” I remind him, Now do you want to tell him that I ordered you not to say a word about any of it and you obeyed out of respect for our relationship, or do you want to tell him you were fine with being disloyal to him only until you had reason to be disloyal to me?”

Phil!ppe narrows his eyes, I don’t like you very much right now.

‘Right back at you.” I respond, clambering to my feet. “But I appreciate your honesty.”

He growls as I move towards the door. “Where are you going?”

To find someone cuddlier than you.” I toss back over my shoulder, pulling on my robe and feeling thankful that I’d gone against Sinclair’s wishes and continued wearing pajamas while he’s away. Of course, I know he’ll be disappointed that I missed another dream date, but when I get lost in my night terrors, there’s no way to find him. I pad through the halls to Cora’s bedroom, not bothering to tap on the door before entering.

She stirs as I climb into bed with her, m0aning sleepily, Ella?”

to her

She

don’t want to be

I confess, “I just

dreams?” She guesses, only too familiar with the phenomenon. I nod pitifully, and she takes me by

when the door opens again and a bleary-eyed Cora leads me back

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me back into my own bed and climbs in with me, and

murmur against her hair. I

catch my sister smiling out of the corner of my eye, and

happy you’re

all the time.” I inform

murmurs, “You were always the one to Scare

monsters aren’t staying in

it?” Cora inquires. I shake my head n0, and I catch a note of exasperation in her voice. “You don’t always have to be such a martyr, Ella. Suffering in silence doesn’t help

That I enjoy playing the martyr? Sacrificing myself to fulfill some

know that’s not the reason.” She answers apologetically, “but whatever your motives, you do have a habit of hogging

for

my sister, it’s my job to hog the suffering to spare

older, I’m supposed to be the one looking out for you. Do you have any idea how much I hated myself when we were growing up, how much I still do, because I wasn’t strong enough to take care of you.” I suspect Cora has done a lot of thinking since our fight earlier this year, because

didn’ t matter that you were older. I’m a wolf.” I

you age in dog

couldn’t ….I don’t add that I may have been destined to as well, the way things have

surprising me. “Do you think I didn’t know?It’s all over the

I knew was that I couldn’t stand to see the people I love hurt… I

to put yourself first every now and then. In fact, it’s

confess, thinking of my behavior with Sinclair, and even my thoughtlessness about the human impact of our war, my failure to see how this tumult was affecting Cora. “And part of me enjoyed it, having someone who made me feel safe enough to explore all the things I never had

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