Chapter 197

Ella

I pace back and forth outside Gabriel’s chambers, absolutely beside myself over Phil!ppe’s fate. I have the worst feeling that Sinclair is going to fire or demote the guard because of my actions, and I’m already preparing a furious speech to deliver to my mate if he does so. I can’t hear a single word of their conversation because the King’s chambers are soundproofed – a luxury I decide Sinclair and I should definitely invest in when we return home.

The waiting is horrible, but eventually my faithful guard emerges, looking thoroughly dejected. I can’t stop myself from racing up to him with man energy. “Did he demote you? Is he still on the call –I’ll talk to him-“

“Woah,” He catches me by the shoulders. “It’s okay, Ella. He didn’t demote me, he just did a lot of yelling”

“Im so sorry.” I profess wringing my hands.

“Don’t be.” Phil!ppe says evenly, staring me straight in the eye so I can see the honesty in his expression. “You were right. Being someone’s guard is a really intimate relationship. You have to trust me with your very life, with all your secrets

He sighs, shaking his head. “Most people get to choose their guards but you didn’t pick me, you didn’t even know who I was when Dominic a.ssigned me to you.”

“So?” I protest, still feeling indignant on his behalf.

“So it’s right that I should have to prove myself to you.” He chuckles. “Trust has to be earned.”

Phil!ppe pauses, giving me an assessing look. “But I have to tell you that if it had gone on much longer. I don’t think I could’ve kept it up.. part of protecting you means looking out for your health and well-being even when you don’t want me to do it. You weren’t doing well and I’m glad Dominic got through to you. I don’t want to be in that position again.”

is actually to help him understand, or to make myself feel better. I have a terrible sense that it’s the latter, but I forge ahead anyway as we begin walking down

by in such a whirlwind. My entire life is different now and I’m still struggling to

a half months ago I was alone in the World. I had my sister and no one else. And now I’m à wolf and I’m going to be a mother, and I have a mate and a pack, and I’m in charge of a world I didn’t know existed, and I’m in the middle of a war, and I might even have parents out there somewhere.” I know I’m rambling, and Goddess love Phil!ppe for standing beside me and listening without judgment. “I love it, but it’s still hard. I’m still suffering major growing

heels, pursing his l!ps. “Is that part of why you’re

I inquire, not even sure about all the words

of us… I mean we all realized you’d been left with the humans and that the Goddess was involved, but I think maybe we were so distracted by how amazing it all is that we didn’t consider what it might mean for a

my arms around myself. “What orphan doesn’t have those fantasies?” I

used to say our parents were spies working together on a top secret project for the government and that they’d had to leave us in the orphanage for our safety. But they left us together so we wouldn’t have to be alone.” I smile at the bittersweet memory. “But we grew up…

confess. “Ive been saying I have to find out where I came from – which is true. But in my brain finding out where I came from is one in the same as finding out who my parents were and why they left me.” I chafe my arms, feeling suddenly cold.

kept Cora out of it too.. because for the first time since I was eight, I feel like there’s hope

nods. “It’s funny the things that can motivate us without us even

therapy is so

I gr0an, thinking of

“Not you too!”

his hands in self defense, “hey, I’m

deride, throwing my arms up. “That’s what they all

the sitting room

today’s ether trip – a fact the therapist was only too smug about- but for now they’ve all piled into

guidance from Leon to travel into the past. As soon as the walls come down in my mind, I’m taken even farther into my memories than I’ve gone

for the first time ever,

seen. The strange thing is that I find it hard to take in all of

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