The Silent Alpha

***Natalia*** 

"What the f**k do you want?" I snarl, Jordan stammering on the other end.

"Luna, I-"

"I'm not your Luna!"

I hiss furiously.

"Get that through your head and stop calling me.Your Alpha and Silver Crest are not my responsibility anymore.You chose Vanessa, so ask her-"

"Would you just listen to me!" he blurts out.

I count down my breaths to control my anger before speaking.

"I told you everything," I whisper softly, pain laced with every word.

"I told you how much it hurt...How much pain I was feeling...I confided in you my worst fears and self doubts ...And you made believe that it was all in my head and I just had to try a little harder.You let me believe I was going crazy and that I was not enough."

My voice cracks a little from the memory of it all but my feelings quickly shift to complete rage.

"But I have found someone who believes I’m enough.Someone who actually listens to me and I will not let you come into my life again to ruin my happiness.I’m done listening to you," I snarl.

"I don’t trust you or anything you have to say anymore."

"But Christian is coming!" he pleads, but only I burst into laughter.

"He can come," I sigh in annoyance.

"He won’t find us."

I hang up the phone before he can say another word, turning to look at my pup as he snores lightly in his sleep.

Christian is never going to find him, I think to myself, crawling back into bed to hold Kota in my arms.He will never get him.

I find it hard to fall back asleep and just watch Kota as the sun rises, hoping Zane is safe wherever he is.

The morning is relatively mundane when Kota wakes up.

We brush our teeth, comb our hair and dress like any other day but even as we go through these motions, I feel Zane’s absence.

"Mommy, you forgot this!" Kota cries, reaching for Zane’s small bottle of cologne.He stands on the tips of his toes and leans over the sink, grunting as he tries his best to reach it.

I grab it for him and he closes his eyes and puffs out his chest for me to spray him with his father’s cologne.

"Now I’m ready," he grins, stomping away down the hall.

I follow him into the kitchen where we find Agnes already preparing breakfast.

Kota stomps his feet on the wood floor to make his presence known and Agnes looks up from the stove to greet him, forcing a smile on her face.

It appears she did not get much sleep last night either, dark circles clinging to her under eyes.Her usually glowing skin is quite pale and she looks as defeated as I feel.

"I- help - you,"

Kota signs to Agnes, Agnes’s face lighting up as she hands Kota some plates.

We set up breakfast together on the patio and as we settle down to eat, Zane’s absence becomes blatantly obvious when I have to pull out a little pen and paper to speak with Agnes.

I have been practicing ASL with the girls at the clinic but I am still not proficient in the language to carry a full conversation on my own.

Luckily for me, Rionna arrives and joins us, and she is able to translate for Kota and I.

Butterflies dance in my belly when I notice Kota mimicking Rionna and singing the words he does know as he speaks so Agnes doesn’t feel left out of the conversation.

While they are few and far and between, I am sure Agnes appreciates his efforts.

Zane has only been part of our lives for a few weeks and he’s already impacting our son in such a beautiful way.

Devina purrs happily while watching our baby trying to be like his Dad.

"Nona, how do I say Eggness with my hands?" Kota asks, opening and closing his hands.

"Her name is this," Rionna explains, spelling out the name AGNES.

Her spelling reminds me that I have never seen Agnes use a name sign before when referring to herself but Zane appears to have a name sign.

"Does Agnes have a name sign?" I ask Rionna who translates for me.

"I know Zane does.She makes the letter Z over her heart every time she addresses him." Agnes gives a response.

"Name signs are usually only given by members of the Deaf Community," Rionna explains.

"It's like an initiation of sorts and it’s a huge honor to be given one if you are not Deaf. Since Agnes does not know anyone in the community, she has never been given a name sign but she has given one to Zane."

"Can I have aname?" Kota asks, smiling his toothy grin.

"That is for Agnes to decide," Rionna explains, translating for Agnes who gives a short response.

"She says she wants to give you a good name sign so she will think about it a little longer."

"Yay!"

mouthfuls of

him gently, Kota sitting up a little straighter in his seat

up breakfast, Rosalie and Celina arrive along with Rio who wags his tail happily by

is up in a flash and is nearly knocked over by the oversized puppy who showers him in

gentleman," Rosalie winks

doing?" she asks

our best," I shrug with a forced

the table, Celina sitting beside

your minds are all over the place right now so you may have

up soon and we have to start setting things up for the event.Ro and I are heading into town to get supplies in a little bit.Would you ladies like to accompany us on our quest? Take your mind off

the distraction, especially after that call with Jordan and it would

Celina asks, my body

"How do you-"

"Sorry," Celina laughs sheepishly.

just really loud," she

guy… he’s your Gamma,

mutter under

"Past tense."

"IS," Celina corrects.

life.That’s why picking the right one is so important and why I

get to pick

Gamma of Silver Crest when I

"Hmm," Celina hums.

"Were you close?"

we were," I

best friend.Turns out, he was just another

called you?"

What did

to warn me that my ex is coming to find me," I reply

for me for the past four years and he hasn’t done

you’re not the least bit concerned?" Celina

in any danger and even if by some miracle, Christian did find me, I’m in one of the safest packs in the

Celina and Rosalie

Aurora’s medallion and I am not human anymore,"

Christian control my life.My only concern right now Is my

you

s**t, you

hand goes instinctively to my neck and l stroke the groves of Zane’s

she's blushing!" She

have at beautiful little family and it makes me so happy to

stretches on my face but Celina still seems concerned about

danger for you or Kota?" Celina

promise, we

I shake my head

no way Christian would find me here.There’s no need to be

press any further, rising from her chair and calling Rio

hour at the pack house for

Kota some snacks for the trip and give him my usual sermon regarding

I murmur as I tie

them to places where mommy

"Okay, mommy," he nods.

don’t take candy from strangers, right?" He

"No."

now let's go get Daddy a present for when

"Yeah!"

house as planned but as we walk out to the drive

Kota?" I murmur,

I please sit with you?" he pleads, his

Devina whines, wanting to step forward

I reply, lifting him into my arms and carrying him inside the SUV.I set him down gently beside me, buckling

I murmur, pushing his hair

don’t have to be scared,"

a game. Help me name the colors

seems to help take his mind off his own fears, and

to the florist for Rosalie

go to

must hand pick a gift to

up to Rosalie to

her work, going through each necklace, chain,

going to die of boredom," Celina mutters as Rosalie requests

have dresses for the party?" she

head, a cool

presume Agnes and Rionna

are ready for a party, Celina drags us

your own Night of Melodies before as Luna but everyone always does

to tradition.We wear brown linen dresses for the pack run and then dress in pack colors for the party.For River Moon,

at the back of the

would try something form fitting so you don’t look like you’re swimming in fabric."She hands me several dresses and shoves me into a

the blue one first," she shouts at

a dark blue dress that has a high neckline and long puffy sleeves, Kota shaking his head

Agnes in a one shoulder floor length dress with a cape, making her look like an elegant empress

your dress,"