The Silent Alpha

***Natalia*** 

"What the f**k do you want?" I snarl, Jordan stammering on the other end.

"Luna, I-"

"I'm not your Luna!"

I hiss furiously.

"Get that through your head and stop calling me.Your Alpha and Silver Crest are not my responsibility anymore.You chose Vanessa, so ask her-"

"Would you just listen to me!" he blurts out.

I count down my breaths to control my anger before speaking.

"I told you everything," I whisper softly, pain laced with every word.

"I told you how much it hurt...How much pain I was feeling...I confided in you my worst fears and self doubts ...And you made believe that it was all in my head and I just had to try a little harder.You let me believe I was going crazy and that I was not enough."

My voice cracks a little from the memory of it all but my feelings quickly shift to complete rage.

"But I have found someone who believes I’m enough.Someone who actually listens to me and I will not let you come into my life again to ruin my happiness.I’m done listening to you," I snarl.

"I don’t trust you or anything you have to say anymore."

"But Christian is coming!" he pleads, but only I burst into laughter.

"He can come," I sigh in annoyance.

"He won’t find us."

I hang up the phone before he can say another word, turning to look at my pup as he snores lightly in his sleep.

Christian is never going to find him, I think to myself, crawling back into bed to hold Kota in my arms.He will never get him.

I find it hard to fall back asleep and just watch Kota as the sun rises, hoping Zane is safe wherever he is.

The morning is relatively mundane when Kota wakes up.

We brush our teeth, comb our hair and dress like any other day but even as we go through these motions, I feel Zane’s absence.

"Mommy, you forgot this!" Kota cries, reaching for Zane’s small bottle of cologne.He stands on the tips of his toes and leans over the sink, grunting as he tries his best to reach it.

I grab it for him and he closes his eyes and puffs out his chest for me to spray him with his father’s cologne.

"Now I’m ready," he grins, stomping away down the hall.

I follow him into the kitchen where we find Agnes already preparing breakfast.

Kota stomps his feet on the wood floor to make his presence known and Agnes looks up from the stove to greet him, forcing a smile on her face.

It appears she did not get much sleep last night either, dark circles clinging to her under eyes.Her usually glowing skin is quite pale and she looks as defeated as I feel.

"I- help - you,"

Kota signs to Agnes, Agnes’s face lighting up as she hands Kota some plates.

We set up breakfast together on the patio and as we settle down to eat, Zane’s absence becomes blatantly obvious when I have to pull out a little pen and paper to speak with Agnes.

I have been practicing ASL with the girls at the clinic but I am still not proficient in the language to carry a full conversation on my own.

Luckily for me, Rionna arrives and joins us, and she is able to translate for Kota and I.

Butterflies dance in my belly when I notice Kota mimicking Rionna and singing the words he does know as he speaks so Agnes doesn’t feel left out of the conversation.

While they are few and far and between, I am sure Agnes appreciates his efforts.

Zane has only been part of our lives for a few weeks and he’s already impacting our son in such a beautiful way.

Devina purrs happily while watching our baby trying to be like his Dad.

"Nona, how do I say Eggness with my hands?" Kota asks, opening and closing his hands.

"Her name is this," Rionna explains, spelling out the name AGNES.

Her spelling reminds me that I have never seen Agnes use a name sign before when referring to herself but Zane appears to have a name sign.

"Does Agnes have a name sign?" I ask Rionna who translates for me.

"I know Zane does.She makes the letter Z over her heart every time she addresses him." Agnes gives a response.

"Name signs are usually only given by members of the Deaf Community," Rionna explains.

"It's like an initiation of sorts and it’s a huge honor to be given one if you are not Deaf. Since Agnes does not know anyone in the community, she has never been given a name sign but she has given one to Zane."

"Can I have aname?" Kota asks, smiling his toothy grin.

"That is for Agnes to decide," Rionna explains, translating for Agnes who gives a short response.

"She says she wants to give you a good name sign so she will think about it a little longer."

"Yay!"

mouthfuls

chew with your mouth closed, please," I scold him gently, Kota sitting

finish up breakfast, Rosalie and Celina arrive along with Rio who wags his tail

knocked over by the oversized puppy

gentleman," Rosalie winks

she asks with a gentle look in her

I shrug with a forced

at the

are all over the place right now so you may

for the event.Ro and I are

I need the distraction, especially after that call with Jordan and it would be nice to take Kota out for a little while even if

body

"How do you-"

"Sorry," Celina laughs sheepishly.

really loud," she

this Jordan guy… he’s

I mutter under my

"Past tense."

"IS," Celina corrects.

right one is so important and why I have yet

get to pick mine," I

Gamma of Silver Crest when I became Luna.I just accepted

"Hmm," Celina hums.

"Were you close?"

thought we were,"

out, he was just another wolf not worth a

called you?"

What did

warn me that my ex is

for me for the past four years and he hasn’t

not the least bit concerned?" Celina

in any danger and even if by some miracle, Christian did find me, I’m in one of the safest

Celina

and I am not human anymore,"

life.My only concern right now

me so happy to see you finally accept him

you

goes instinctively to my neck and l stroke the groves

blushing!"

have at beautiful little family and it makes

but Celina still seems concerned about

you sure there’s no danger for you

promise, we can

I shake my head

way Christian would find me here.There’s no

rising from her chair and

an hour at the pack house for some

the trip and give him my

Kota," I murmur as

them to places where mommy can’t see you,

"Okay, mommy," he nods.

take candy from strangers, right?"

"No."

go get Daddy a present for when he comes

"Yeah!"

and Rionna at the pack house as planned but as we walk out to the drive

I murmur, pulling him closer to

with you?" he pleads, his beautiful eyes

afraid to drive again, Devina whines, wanting to

my arms and carrying him inside the SUV.I set him down gently beside

okay," I murmur,

to be scared," I whisper with

play a game. Help me name the colors of the cars

mind off his own fears, and we arrive at the mall

a visit to the florist for Rosalie to finalize the design she had in mind for the

we go to

event, Aurora must hand pick a gift

it was up to Rosalie to make sure each

her work, going through each necklace, chain, and bracelet

boredom," Celina mutters as Rosalie requests

for the party?" she

cool

and Rionna don’t

for a party, Celina drags us to a nearby boutique while Rosalie finishes up

managed your own Night of Melodies before

to tradition.We wear brown linen dresses for the pack run and then dress in pack colors for the party.For River Moon, that’s

the back of the boutique with several

form fitting so you don’t look like you’re swimming in fabric."She hands me several dresses and shoves me into a changing

the blue one first," she shouts at

blue dress that has a high neckline

length dress with a cape, making her look like an elegant empress as

your dress,"