The Silent Alpha

***Natalia*** 

"What the f**k do you want?" I snarl, Jordan stammering on the other end.

"Luna, I-"

"I'm not your Luna!"

I hiss furiously.

"Get that through your head and stop calling me.Your Alpha and Silver Crest are not my responsibility anymore.You chose Vanessa, so ask her-"

"Would you just listen to me!" he blurts out.

I count down my breaths to control my anger before speaking.

"I told you everything," I whisper softly, pain laced with every word.

"I told you how much it hurt...How much pain I was feeling...I confided in you my worst fears and self doubts ...And you made believe that it was all in my head and I just had to try a little harder.You let me believe I was going crazy and that I was not enough."

My voice cracks a little from the memory of it all but my feelings quickly shift to complete rage.

"But I have found someone who believes I’m enough.Someone who actually listens to me and I will not let you come into my life again to ruin my happiness.I’m done listening to you," I snarl.

"I don’t trust you or anything you have to say anymore."

"But Christian is coming!" he pleads, but only I burst into laughter.

"He can come," I sigh in annoyance.

"He won’t find us."

I hang up the phone before he can say another word, turning to look at my pup as he snores lightly in his sleep.

Christian is never going to find him, I think to myself, crawling back into bed to hold Kota in my arms.He will never get him.

I find it hard to fall back asleep and just watch Kota as the sun rises, hoping Zane is safe wherever he is.

The morning is relatively mundane when Kota wakes up.

We brush our teeth, comb our hair and dress like any other day but even as we go through these motions, I feel Zane’s absence.

"Mommy, you forgot this!" Kota cries, reaching for Zane’s small bottle of cologne.He stands on the tips of his toes and leans over the sink, grunting as he tries his best to reach it.

I grab it for him and he closes his eyes and puffs out his chest for me to spray him with his father’s cologne.

"Now I’m ready," he grins, stomping away down the hall.

I follow him into the kitchen where we find Agnes already preparing breakfast.

Kota stomps his feet on the wood floor to make his presence known and Agnes looks up from the stove to greet him, forcing a smile on her face.

It appears she did not get much sleep last night either, dark circles clinging to her under eyes.Her usually glowing skin is quite pale and she looks as defeated as I feel.

"I- help - you,"

Kota signs to Agnes, Agnes’s face lighting up as she hands Kota some plates.

We set up breakfast together on the patio and as we settle down to eat, Zane’s absence becomes blatantly obvious when I have to pull out a little pen and paper to speak with Agnes.

I have been practicing ASL with the girls at the clinic but I am still not proficient in the language to carry a full conversation on my own.

Luckily for me, Rionna arrives and joins us, and she is able to translate for Kota and I.

Butterflies dance in my belly when I notice Kota mimicking Rionna and singing the words he does know as he speaks so Agnes doesn’t feel left out of the conversation.

While they are few and far and between, I am sure Agnes appreciates his efforts.

Zane has only been part of our lives for a few weeks and he’s already impacting our son in such a beautiful way.

Devina purrs happily while watching our baby trying to be like his Dad.

"Nona, how do I say Eggness with my hands?" Kota asks, opening and closing his hands.

"Her name is this," Rionna explains, spelling out the name AGNES.

Her spelling reminds me that I have never seen Agnes use a name sign before when referring to herself but Zane appears to have a name sign.

"Does Agnes have a name sign?" I ask Rionna who translates for me.

"I know Zane does.She makes the letter Z over her heart every time she addresses him." Agnes gives a response.

"Name signs are usually only given by members of the Deaf Community," Rionna explains.

"It's like an initiation of sorts and it’s a huge honor to be given one if you are not Deaf. Since Agnes does not know anyone in the community, she has never been given a name sign but she has given one to Zane."

"Can I have aname?" Kota asks, smiling his toothy grin.

"That is for Agnes to decide," Rionna explains, translating for Agnes who gives a short response.

"She says she wants to give you a good name sign so she will think about it a little longer."

"Yay!"

squeals between mouthfuls

chew with your mouth closed, please," I scold him gently, Kota sitting up a little straighter in his seat and chewing

arrive along with Rio who wags his tail happily by Celina’s

and is nearly knocked over by the oversized

ladies and gentleman," Rosalie

all doing?" she asks with a gentle look

best," I shrug with

join us at the table, Celina

the place right now so you may have forgotten but..."

for the event.Ro and I are heading into town to get supplies in a little bit.Would you ladies like to accompany us on

right now but I need the distraction, especially after that call with Jordan and it would be nice to

asks, my body freezing at the mention of that

"How do you-"

"Sorry," Celina laughs sheepishly.

loud," she says, gesturing

this Jordan guy… he’s your Gamma,

mutter under

"Past tense."

"IS," Celina corrects.

picking the right one is so important and why

didn’t get to pick mine," I

Crest when I became Luna.I just accepted the

"Hmm," Celina hums.

"Were you close?"

thought we

my best friend.Turns out, he was just another wolf not worth

called you?" Rosalie

What did he

warn me that my ex is coming to find me," I

been looking for me for the past four years and he hasn’t

least bit concerned?"

not in any danger and even if by some miracle, Christian did find me, I’m in one of the safest packs

them, both Celina

Kota has Aurora’s medallion and I am not human anymore," I

life.My only concern

so happy to see you

you have

instinctively to my neck and l stroke the groves

she's blushing!" She

at beautiful little family and it makes

my face but Celina still

no danger for you or Kota?" Celina

promise,

I shake my

way Christian would find me here.There’s no need to

hesitant but doesn’t press any further, rising from her

at the

Kota some snacks for the trip and give him my usual sermon regarding

Kota," I murmur as I tie his

you follow them to places where mommy can’t see

"Okay, mommy," he nods.

we don’t take candy from strangers, right?"

"No."

let's go get Daddy a present for when he comes home" I smile, pecking

"Yeah!"

house as planned but as we walk out to the drive

okay, Kota?" I murmur, pulling him closer to

sit with you?" he

drive again, Devina whines, wanting to

I reply, lifting him into my arms and carrying him inside the SUV.I set him down gently beside me, buckling

to be okay," I murmur,

scared," I whisper with a soft smile and lean

name the colors of

game seems to help take his mind off his own fears,

florist for Rosalie to finalize the design she had in mind for the

go to the

pick a gift to present to each new

for the recipients weeks ago and it was up

her work, going through each necklace, chain,

mutters as Rosalie requests changes for

you have dresses for the

my head, a cool smirk

and Rionna

appears none of us are ready for a party, Celina drags us to a nearby boutique while Rosalie finishes

Night of Melodies before as Luna but

linen dresses for the pack run and then dress in pack colors for the party.For River Moon, that’s midnight blue and

the boutique with several elegant dresses and scans

would try something form fitting so you don’t look like you’re swimming in fabric."She hands me several dresses and shoves me into a changing

blue one first," she

blue dress that has a high neckline and long puffy sleeves, Kota shaking

a one shoulder floor length dress with a cape, making her look like an elegant empress as she steps out

dress,"