The Silent Alpha

Chapter 58: The Black Book Part II

***Derek*** 

Vanessa looks very relaxed and at ease as she sips her coffee and scrolls through her phone nonchalantly, completely oblivious that I am watching her.I haven’t seen her this relaxed since she first arrived at Silver Crest.

Her big green eyes shaded by thick lashes and the long brown hair framing her slightly round face give her an almost angelic look as she studies her phone.

I never noticed how innocent her features make her look.

She truly is beautiful, my wolf, Casper murmurs.

Beautiful...but off limits, Isigh, preparing to ruin her day.I’ve been tracking her now for several days, Vanessa spending most of that time holed up in a motel room.

She wasn't hard to find since she used my credit cards for food and shelter, and while I could have easily cut her funds off, I did not have the heart to freeze my accounts.

Many times I wanted to storm into her room and hold her, but I knew better than to make my presence known to her so As I walk into the small diner by the lake, I notice Vanessa flinch, likely smelling my scent and feeling my presence.

When I approach her table and slide into the seat in front of her, she reluctantly sits up and takes another drink from her coffee before asking if I am here to kill her.I don’t answer her, my eyes lingering on Christian’s mark on her neck.

That should be my mark, Casper snarls, a bit of jealous rage pumping through my veins.

Noticing my stare, Vanessa brushes her hair over her shoulder to hide the mark and takes another drink.

"Do you know why I loved Christian so much?" she asks, settling into a comfortable position and when I don’t respond, she proceeds to answer her own question.

"He was the first person who ever saw me.He made me feel like I mattered and it felt good.It felt good to matter to someone.It felt good to just be enough for someone to take notice of me.I never got that growing up," she sighs through a tired smile.

"I was always just a f**k up with a pretty face.Natalia was the smart one, the successful one.The one who made our parents proud...and I was just there to make the family portraits look good." and it saddens me to think he meant more to her than she meant to him.

Where she appreciated and cherished every moment spent with him, he hardly ever thought of her and those trivial moments in class.

In all honesty, I hardly noticed her either, noting only her pretty face and nothing more.

How broken and deprived of attention must she have been to have fallen for Christian’s half-assed compliments and believed it to be love? She pauses as a waitress comes with a tray of food for her and asks if I want anything.

I shake my head and she dismisses the waitress before staring off at the shore of the lake.

"I was devastated the night Natalia called me to tell me she was getting married to the man I had fallen in love with...And I jumped at the opportunity to get back at her.To make her feel what I felt all those years.Sleeping with Christian...It was like I finally had something to offer.Something Natalia couldn’t give him," she snarls bitterly.

"Did you think Natalia was at fault for all of your misfortunes?" I ask, wanting to know how a sister could be so eager to hurt her own family.

"Did she ever make you feel inferior? Did she deserve your resentment?" silently, her shoulders shaking with every small sob.

I watch her carefully, trying to understand her skewed anger for an innocent person.

As far as I can remember, Natalia was very patient with her sister, doing her best to keep her close and safe, yet even I could tell, neither of them knew each other too well.

Many of their interactions were often a bit awkward or even forced, as if a wall were keeping them apart.

"Natalia was always the favorite," Vanessa finally whispers.

"I didn’t think she needed anything from me...She didn’t need to fight for our parents' love.It was just given to her.Everything was just handed to her, while I-" She fights back her tears and shrugs.

"I couldn’t even get a ‘good job’ or an ‘I’m proud of you’."

"You think she didn’t have any challenges?" I ask.

"You think it was easy being Luna for her?"

"I don’t-"

"Alpha Christopher despised her...Several members, myself included, did not think she could do it." I retort.

"Nothing about being Luna was easy for her."

"I thought...I just thought that-"

"You thought what? That your problems would just She nods, wiping away her tears with her sleeve.

"I’m sorry."

"Sorry for what? Natalia or yourself?" I ask, knowing her answer will determine my decision and her fate.

"I-I don’t ....I don’t-"

search of the best answer, but only she knows how she

don’t know.I’m just sorry for

slamming a fist

screw up who can’t do anything right.I’m sorry you

table, shielding her face with her arms as

"I’m just sorry!"

her guilt for I have been living with mine for

by and done nothing to help Natalia, but I had also allowed Christian to spiral in

recent kill that I

up sooner about his wolf going mad? Knowing Vanessa is not the only one who's made but I can’t

do not dare

am worthless..." Vanessa

could ever have a happily ever after with a mate after what I did.I am not meant to be happy and I am too tired to figure

moment and I’m too much of a coward to do it myself, so if you are,

more time? I just… I just want to

in her voice and something inside me shatters knowing that the only thing she has left to live for right now is the prospect of feeling my touch one last

the pup growing inside her

follows my gaze, her hands shielding her

voice trails off as she comes to the realization that she is pregnant, her arms

her lips before a look of absolute terror washes over her

"No..." She whimpers.

I-I promise I won’t come back to Silver Crest! I'll leave for good, I promise.I'll give

patrons in the room, several casting looks of concern towards us.I try to calm her down, but the more I

Vanessa cries hysterically and begs for

it’s not Christian’s.It won’t interfere with his plans!"she whimpers, clutching

I’m begging you! Not

I reach across the table

with sparks as Vanessa’s body relaxes and she melts into my kiss, allowing herself to just be mine for just.When I pull away, I stare deep into the sea of green looking back at me with fear, my own guilt

too long, I have let Christian’s mistakes slide, carrying out his orders without question like a good Beta

husband's betrayal and I regret not

me to terminate your pregnancy," I whisper, fresh tears spilling onto

add with confidence, gently caressing her cheeks and enjoying the sparks tingling at my

accept my rejection," I

She shrugs and I can sense it’s a lie but I don’t pry

cottage about 30 miles from Silver

used to be an old meeting ground but we haven’t used

"But Christian-" assure her.

figure out other arrangements and I'll be close enough to

"But-"

just a temporary arrangement,"

hesitation in her eyes but, regardless,

hope I’m not making a

***Zane*** 

I whisper

"K-Kota and his dr-dreams."

now, sits up straighter in his chair,

everyone now interested in what I

tremor of fear ripples through me at the thought of addressing

cotton and my train of thought derails

me fall.She inhales deeply and I breathe with her, slowly letting the air out of my lungs in a

a moment, expecting Grayson to say a snarky comment,

tr-true," I mutter, keeping my eyes on

smile giving me the boost of confidence I

atta-ta-tack," I add, Kota

saw Ta-Talia

suddenly becomes very shy and hides his face behind

gently

you want to tell us about

"No!"

his head Aurora accepts his answer but I can see she is already exploring his small mind,

had those dreams?"

long," Aurora replies

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